Because No Good Birthday Celebration is Complete Without a Little Vomit at the End

Posted on August 25, 2012August 25, 2012 by Amy

Yesterday we had a wonderful celebration at home for Lass’s birthday. She started the day a bit less enthused than she was when we had her little party at my sister-in-law’s house. That day she was telling everyone excitedly all day that it was her birthday party and she was going to blow out her candles. On her actual birthday she woke up in a mood, and when I went to get her up and told her “Happy Birthday,” she frowned and said, “No I NOT!” She did this all morning, complete with her exaggerated mad face (and sometimes the statement “I mad!”) and dramatic crossing of her arms over her chest. Though I was wishing she was more happy about her birthday, it was quite adorable.

After her nap and by the time my husband got home she was a bit more cheerful and excited for her day. The girls helped make dinner and we had ice cream sundaes for dessert, with a candle and singing of course.

Princesses were plentiful in her gifts, mostly Cinderella of course. She got a beautiful new Cinderella dress complete with glass slippers and was in heaven dancing around in it, posing to see her reflection.

She also got a new set of mini-princesses, just like the Cinderella she carries around all the time. She got Cinderella, Ariel, and Snow White, in wedding dresses, with their princes. The new Cinderella was introduced to the old Cinderella and there was some kissing.

She likes the new Cinderella.

But my girl is nothing if not loyal. The old Cinderella, whose dress is totally missing its skirt now, is still ever present in her left hand.

Sis enjoyed watching all the festivities and laughed at her sisters playing.

The birthday was a wonderful success, right up until the very end. Just as I was getting ready to take Sis upstairs to put her to bed, Lass threw up all over her new dress and the kitchen floor. Chaos ensued briefly, but we managed to get Lass a bath and all three girls to bed fairly quickly after that. The birthday girl did sleep all night, though she woke up still feeling pretty yucky this morning.

We had a jammie day and watched movies.

She perked up a little bit before lunch.

We had a picnic dinner while watching Sleeping Beauty before bed. You can see she’s feeling much better.

I think we may have found a new family movie night tradition… Off to get ice cream. Good night.

The #1 Sign You are a Mother of Several Very Young Children

Posted on August 23, 2012August 23, 2012 by Amy

Okay, maybe it’s not the #1 sign, but it’s up there. If you’ve ever experienced this, you know what I mean:

You feel slight anxiety pulling into the parking lot of your grocery store/Target/Walmart, etc. You drive around stalking for just the right parking spot, hoping and praying that you can find it. You start to sweat a bit when you think you might not see it. You’re trying to plan what in the world you will do if you don’t… And then – Hallelujah! You see it, and feels a little bit like a miracle.

The double cart. In a cart corral. With a parking space nearby. I always get antsy as soon as I see it. Hurry into my parking space and run for the cart before some other mom can snatch it from me. I love the double cart. With it, shopping nirvana is possible. I can go into the store with an infant in an Ergo and my two “big” girls in the car cart, and all is right with the world.

P.S. Another sign that you are this mother is when you, who are normally so calm and certainly nonviolent by nature, feel a slight urge to throttle the sweet little grandma who is pushing her one grandchild in a car cart. And he’s 12.

A Birthday Preview

Posted on August 20, 2012 by Amy

Somebody turns two on Friday.

We had a little birthday party for her with my husband’s family while visiting with them this past weekend. She was so excited, walking around all day leading up to the party telling everyone, “It my buh-day pahdy!”

She wasn’t quite sure what to make of it when everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to her, and she was a little hesitant at first about blowing out her candle. But once she figured out what she was supposed to do she got it done and looked very proud of herself.

She had been waiting all day for this…

Miss got a big laugh out of the chocolate on her face.

I was a little nervous about how Miss would do in the face of seeing her sister get all kinds of cool presents when she wasn’t getting any for herself. She’s in a “scream first, think later” phase right now, so I thought she might totally melt down. Happily, she did not. She did have a few moments of jumping around with “Ooh, I want that, I want that, can I have one of those?” but listened well when I explained things to her and didn’t scream or otherwise throw a fit.

I think she really was excited for her sister, and Lass shared her new loot quite nicely. Sisters rock.

Even with all the gifts, this thing was the big hit of the evening.

Lass’s actual birthday is on Friday. We will do lots of fun stuff and have a small party just with our family in the evening. Instead of cake they’ll get to make their own ice cream sundaes. I’m so excited. I love when my girls have birthdays. I love to see their excitement and joy. Of course I also get all nostalgic and marvel at how big they’re getting and how all of their baby days seem to have flown by. And I say it, every time, “I can’t believe she’s __!” I can’t believe she’s almost two.

Twilight

Posted on August 16, 2012 by Amy

I love the time right between day and night. When the sun begins to sink and the heat of the summer day fades enough that cozy jackets are warranted. When the littlest is in bed and the two big girls are excited because they know they’re up past their bedtimes for a special treat, playing with cousins, sitting around a campfire, toasting marshmallows and eating s’mores.

Miss is protesting the roasting of her marshmallow.

She prefers to eat the s’mores components separately and without the marshmallow being cooked and gooey.

And then there’s Lass…

I think this is like a little piece of heaven. Special time with my husband and two older girls, a toasty fire as the twilight gives way to a cool night, and chocolate. Yep. Heaven.

The Iowa State Fair

Posted on August 15, 2012 by Amy

Someone once wrote a book titled something like “1000 Things to do Before You Die.” I don’t know who wrote it or what 999 of the things in the book are or whether I’ve done any of those things, but I do know that one of the things this person noted was the Iowa State Fair. A must do before one dies. Check. Yesterday we rocked the fair and it was good.

My husband grew up going to the Iowa State Fair and loves it. I first went when Miss was about six months old. It was fun then. There was lots of cool stuff to do and look at. It was easy with just one immobile and good-tempered baby. This time, though it was a little bit more tricky, and at times trying, it was so much more fun. I loved, I mean loved, watching my girls do the fair. There were so many fun experiences for them. They got to see piglets being born. They watched a lamb chasing and dancing around its mother to grab on to her and nurse. They saw chicks hatching, and all sorts of other baby animals. They got to play with butterflies.

Miss was so proud of herself for learning to catch the butterflies all by herself. Lass had a heavier hand and needed some help to keep from clubbing them, but she eventually got it too.

A little later, Miss was very eager to ride the Big Yellow Slide. We happened to eat lunch right near it, and she couldn’t even eat she was so anxious to get on that slide. She was mad that she couldn’t go down by herself. She went down with her daddy. And she hated it. It totally freaked her out. Lass on the other hand loved it. She went twice and wanted to keep going.

So true to their personalities.

Of course a day at the fair is not complete without trying various “fair foods.” The girls have a book in which the characters go to a fair and eat cotton candy, so they were eager to try it. Cotton candy is not one of my favorite things and I would not normally waste $4 on it, but I was excited to see what they thought of it. Naturally Lass jumped right in and ate it up.

And Miss was not so sure. She said, “Why is it dry?” She didn’t love it so much.

I tried my first fried Snickers bar. It was tasty, but I think I’d rather just have the Snickers. Surprisingly, not everything in life is made more delicious by deep fat frying it.

We made up for the disappointing cotton candy with red velvet funnel cake. Funnel cake is not really my thing (my belief about dessert is that, with very few exceptions, it’s generally not worth the calories if it isn’t chocolate) but the girls enjoyed it. Again, Lass dug in with vigor.

We spent a lot of time looking at the animals. They were the big hit of the day, from all the baby animals to the “Big Boar.” His name was Reggie and he was over 1500 lbs, I think! Though his size was impressive, the girls actually seemed to prefer the smaller animals, because poor enormous Reggie didn’t do anything but lay in the dirt. The girls were really intrigued by other animals like bunnies, chickens, ponies, llamas, sheep, horses, normal-sized pigs, and an elk. Miss’s favorite were the bunnies.

Lass’s favorite were the cows. She asked to pet a new mama cow who was in the birthing barn with her calf, but there was a staff member posted near her specifically to make sure no one got too close. That mama cow was very protective. Gotta respect that.

We had so much fun looking at and talking about all the animals. It was an amazing learning experience. We talked about everything we saw, from how the baby chicks peck their way out of the eggs to why a sheep pooped in his water dish. They’re still talking about that one.

A surprising favorite was the tractors. My husband loves to look at them, but I wasn’t expecting my girls to get into them as much as they did. They wanted to climb into every one and Miss got upset when we needed to move on to other things.

We saw as much of the Fair as we could in one too-short morning. We got back to the Farm after a long drive and one of the first things Miss asked to do was to look at her Papa’s tractors! She takes after her Daddy I guess.

We’re at the Farm this week, recharging and savoring the last of summer. The Iowa State Fair was a wonderful addition.

Stay-At Home-Mom – What Do I Do All Day Anyway?

Posted on August 7, 2012 by Amy

Originally posted 4/12

If you aren’t or have never been a stay-at-home mom (or dad), you might wonder what someone does who stays home with her kids all day. I know I did before becoming a full-time mom myself. I didn’t wonder about this in a malicious way. Not like in a “what the H-E-double-hockey-sticks-does-she-do-all-day?” kind of way. I just wondered.

Well. Now I know. So, what do I do all day? Here’s an idea:

I create mountains with couch cushions. I encourage. I insist “you can do it.” I cheer for accomplishments. I help when necessary.

I do laundry.

Lass was having a really hard time climbing over this cushion and was getting frustrated watching her sister go up and down with ease.

I encouraged her to keep trying.

Here she’s saying “I did it!” I love that moment.

I have tea parties. I color. I read aloud. I ask, “What color is this?” “What does (fill in this blank with some animal) say?” “What sound does (fill in this blank with some letter) make?” “What do you think about that?” All. day. long. I sing songs. I sound out words. I count everything out loud. I answer “Why?” and “Why?” and “Why?”

I watch. I praise. I watch again. And again. And again. I teach. I spot.

Miss is really into working on headstands and handstands and showing off various other skills she is learning at gymnastics. This reminds me of when my mom helped me learn how to do a cartwheel. I wonder how many hours we spent working on them in our living room. I want to do the same for my girls.

I kiss boo boos. I teach manners. And responsibility. And problem solving. And everything.

I discourage whining. I try to reinforce more effective ways of communicating. I try to teach my girls to be strong and direct.

I do laundry.

I referee fights over who gets to wear which headband. Over who gets the little Cinderella doll (or “Wedda” as Lass calls her). Over who gets to hold Baby Sis first.

I change diapers. I wash diapers. I fold diapers.

I nurse a newborn. I take forever to get out of the house.

I cook. I clean up. I cook. I clean up.

I wipe mouths and noses and counters and hands and tables and rear ends.

I give baths. I comb hair that is like silk. I fix pony tails. I say “You’re beautiful.” “You’re smart.” “You’re strong.” “You’re funny.”

I do laundry.

Baby Sis right after a bath

I help to outfit Super Heros.

Daddy helps them to fly.

Sometimes they crash.

I do more laundry.

I give lots of hugs. And kisses. I snuggle. I tickle.

Sometimes I just sit. And watch. And I’m thankful that I am fortunate enough to be able to do all of these things and so much more. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Motherhood is a Profession

Posted on August 6, 2012August 13, 2015 by Amy

I’ve been struggling lately with a big issue. Since shortly after Miss was born, I have worked as a forensic psychological consultant. I have considered myself to be incredibly lucky to have secured this position. Basically, I’m a small business owner. I do consulting work for a company that has a contract to perform competency to stand trial evaluations. I get referrals from this company. I set up an appointment at my convenience to go to the jail and complete the evaluation. It only takes a couple of hours. Then I write my report from home, usually during nap time or after the girls have gone to bed. Occasionally I have to testify in a case (this is my favorite part). It always seemed so perfect, because I never worked a ton. Maybe one or two, sometimes three evaluations per month. I could stay home essentially full time with my kids and still get an opportunity to do some of the work I spent so many years in school to be qualified to do.

For a little while before and a few months after Sis was born I took a self-determined maternity leave. Now that I am back to working, my work load has drastically increased, and I’m getting lots of cases in other counties. In the past month or so I’ve done seven evaluations in jails that are at least an hour drive away. This has led to lots of time away from my girls.

Last Tuesday I didn’t get home until 6:30. I had spent most of the morning working on reports and then had a long drive for a long evaluation. On the way home I had this awful pit in my stomach, knowing that I would miss dinner and not have much time with the girls before bed time. I had to watch my speedometer very carefully during the hour-and-a-half-long drive home that evening. My mind and heart were protesting being away from my little girls and aching to get home, and my body was responding, pretty much involuntarily, with my foot repeatedly pressing down harder on my accelerator.

I got home and felt like I had barely seen my girls all day. It was awful.

I did let Miss stay up a little bit late to watch Olympic gymnastics that night.

But I still felt like crap at the end of that day.

So. Here I am tonight, having just finished up and sent off another report (my third this weekend). I haven’t done a blog post in a week. Because I’ve been spending pretty much every nap time and bed time working. And I don’t really even enjoy the work anymore. Work is no longer what’s important to me.

I used to find psychology to be so fascinating and I loved the challenges that my job presents. Now? Meh. Psychology and evaluating criminals is no longer what I find fascinating. This is:

Being a psychologist is part of my identity, and has been for almost ten years. But. Though it is a newer facet of my identity, being a mom way trumps being a psychologist. Way.

A few weeks ago I seriously started to consider leaving my consultant position. I felt very guilty about it. Some of my guilty thoughts:

But I spent so many years training to be a psychologist.

But I used to love my job.

But I should feel so fortunate to have a position like this.

I thought about how I would feel to not be a psychologist anymore. I wondered if I would feel sad. Or lost. Or, somehow, less. I knew I was not happy spending so much time away from my girls these past few months, but I kept thinking I should ride it out. I shouldn’t give up this amazing work opportunity. I should keep this job so I can maintain my professional skills.

Then Tuesday happened and I was sick with missing my kids and I thought, “For what?” All these shoulds, and no real good reason for them. I once thought I needed to keep my skills so that I can go back to working more when my kids are in school. Except I’m going to homeschool them.

So I came up with a few more shoulds that make more sense to me.

I should take advantage of the opportunity I have to stay home with my girls and be present and happy with them.

I should remember that being a mom is a full time job, and it’s okay to have only one of those.

I should soak in all the wonderfulness that is these little beings that I am privileged to call mine.

I should take back nap time and bed time. Seriously. Any mama of preschoolers/toddlers/babies knows that you can’t give up all of these for long without going totally nuts.

Yes, I should. So I’m going to. After much discussion with my husband, my mom, and a good friend, I’ve decided I am going to leave my job. Right now my priority is my family. A little bit of work now and then was okay. A lot of work is not (and in case you’re wondering, I have basically been told that I cannot decline referrals unless I’m out of town). I am going to stop worrying about going to work and focus on doing the work of raising my kids. I might be a little sad to not have my professional identity anymore. But I have other things I’m going to focus on in my free time (more on that later). And I’ll still technically be a psychologist. I’ll always keep my license current. Nothing says that I can’t go back to it someday if I want to.

The bottom line is this: I am a mom and my profession is Motherhood. I prefer the title of “Mama” to “Dr.” any day.

What I Loved This Weekend

Posted on July 30, 2012 by Amy

I’ve been loving lots of things this weekend.

– Family time watching, and explaining, the Olympics.

It was nice, even though Miss repeatedly asked to watch something else. “I don’t really like this sports,” she’d say, making a bid for “Super Why!” or “Sesame Street.” She did get into watching fencing a bit though.

– Pool time yesterday morning. I’m so bummed that almost all of my photos were extremely over-exposed. Most of them were even worse than this:

I guess my favorite lens isn’t so great for sunny day at the pool photos.

We did have a great time.

Pool time is always capped off with an ice cream picnic on a towel.

– Somebody is four months old.

She’s been working hard on rolling over. She managed to go from her belly to her back a few days ago.

Today she mastered getting from her back to her belly. We were in the midst of lunch preparation craziness when Lass looked over to where Sis was lying on the floor and said, “Sissy-Girl woll ovuh!” Yes, that’s right. The first time she accomplished this milestone we missed it. I turned to look at her and there she was on her tummy, head up and looking at all of us expectantly. Of course once Lass pointed it out, we all cheered and whooped it up appropriately. I don’t think she minded the slight delay.

I don’t know how in the world four months have gone by already. Here’s to a beautiful weekend. Hope you had one too.

Out in the World

Posted on July 28, 2012 by Amy

Sometimes I wish I could just keep my little girls sheltered and safe in our little house, protected from all potentially dangerous or otherwise undesirable things out there. I mean, do I really have to let them see odd people, walk near swimming pools, and observe annoying behaviors in others that I’d rather they not learn? Helicopter anyone? No?

Miss started real swimming lessons this summer. I know I can’t always keep her perfectly safe, but at least I can make sure that she learns to swim so she can be safer around water. Last summer we did one short session of a swimming class that I did with her. She learned waaay more this time.

She didn’t like it at first. She would cry at the start of her classes, and hated getting her face wet.

Once she got warmed up in class, she was cool as long as she didn’t have to go under the water. She got real nervous when she knew they were at the part of class where she had to jump in and go underwater.

But she did it. Every time.

She did it on her own and she was so proud as she gained confidence and began to realize it really wasn’t a big deal.

I love how confident and strong she looks in the photo below. She’s about to dive in and she isn’t afraid at all.

She’s learning to swim.

As much as I sometimes wish I could shelter her from everything, I know that I can’t and I shouldn’t. It’s so special for her to have these experiences of competence and achievement. She hasn’t graduated to the next class yet, but after six weeks of swimming lessons twice a week, she has improved so much and gained so much confidence. She doesn’t cry when her class starts anymore. She barely flinches when she has to go under water. She’s getting it and I get to watch and smile and feel my momma heart swell (and ache just a tiny bit because she’s growing up).

And speaking of growing up, my big girl and I had a date yesterday to a movie. It was her first experience in the movie theater. At first she was bummed that her sisters couldn’t come with us, until I told her that the movie theater is just for big girls. Then her face lit up and she said, “Like me!”

It was fun to watch her experience something so new and slightly overwhelming. She held my hand tightly in the lobby where all the people were milling about getting popcorn. She covered her eyes and cowered toward me when one of the trailers was slightly scary. Mostly, I think she enjoyed feeling like a special big girl. I got her popcorn and she shared it with me. She was awed by the size of the “TV” and how loud it was.

I found myself loving the experience with her and also cringing at some of the content of the movie. It was Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. Not an offensive movie in any big way. It wasn’t scary at all. But I’m pretty picky when it comes to movies for my kids. Most of the Disney movies are okay, but even those almost always have some pretty scary parts and sometimes less than desirable content. I hate it every time I hear Grumpy tell Doc to “Awww, shut up!” I also don’t love the way most of the princesses are portrayed as pretty helpless. And I don’t love the drunk scene in Dumbo either. I could go on. This Chipmunk movie wasn’t too bad, but it had a few parts that bothered me. I didn’t like all the references to Theodore (and Eleanor of “The Chipettes”) as “The chubby one” and the oddly suggestive dance moves of the female chipmunks. Perhaps (probably) I’m a big prude. Maybe I’m overly sensitive. I just wish there were kids movies that didn’t have objectionable content.

But when I get too uptight thinking about how I exposed my child to such movie content, I just try to remind myself that my girls will see a lot worse in the world around them as they grow. And the fact is that I do monitor what they are exposed to right now, so when the occasional unpleasant content comes up, I can look at it as an opportunity to teach my girls about being appropriate, kind, strong, etc. I have to think of it that way, because otherwise we would never get out and experience life in this big world. I wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity to go to a movie with my girl because of fear that there might be something undesirable in the movie. I do my best to make good selections for them now, knowing that I can’t protect them from everything. I just have to do my best to protect them from the big things, prepare them for the unexpected, and teach them to make good choices in all the other stuff.

P.S. How do you like the new blog?? It’s still a bit of a work in progress, but it’s getting there!

Here I Am

Posted on July 27, 2012 by Amy

Here’s the new site. I don’t like the style of it at all, and I’m still trying to figure out how to create a post so that it doesn’t take 20 minutes to add three photos and then be told that the upload limit has been reached. WordPress and I are going to have issues if I can’t upload more than three photos per post!! Anyway, I’m working on getting everything the way I want it to be. I had a real post planned for tonight, but it’s not happening the way I had hoped it would. Thanks for being patient with this process. Hopefully I’ll be back to doing real posts very soon.

Motherhood and Miscellany

Author: Amy

Because No Good Birthday Celebration is Complete Without a Little Vomit at the End

The #1 Sign You are a Mother of Several Very Young Children

A Birthday Preview

Twilight

The Iowa State Fair

Stay-At Home-Mom – What Do I Do All Day Anyway?

Motherhood is a Profession

What I Loved This Weekend

Out in the World

Here I Am