Traditions

Posted on December 23, 2010 by Amy

I love holiday traditions. Love them. Every year I decorate my tree on the day after Thanksgiving. While doing it, I listen to Johnny Mathis Christmas music, which is what my mom and I listened to always at Christmas time when I was a kid, particularly when we were making no-bake cookies (her specialty back then). I allow my hubby to put on some Charlie Brown Christmas too, since that’s his traditional holiday music, and we rock around the Christmas tree. We eat creamed eggs on my family’s Christmas morning and my mom and I watch “Heidi.”

Last night we opened our home gifts, since we’re leaving for the Farm tonight. My hubby and I opened our gifts for each other and Miss opened the gifts for her and Lass that are too big to take with us to be from Santa tomorrow night, like her easel for her learning tower and the big paper pads and box of art supplies that go with it. We also opened the traditional gifts for the girls.

Last year, I started the tradition of giving Miss an ornament every year. I gave her a silver rocking horse ornament with a plaque signifying her first christmas. I got a matching one for Lass this year. Miss’s ornament this year is a little snow-baby-type thing, holding a baby that says “I’m the Big Sister.” I will continue to get the girls each an ornament every year, relating to something we did during the year.

I got the idea for a new tradition I started this year from my dearest Auntie (she also does the ornament tradition for my cousins, so maybe I got that idea from her too?). My mom told me about it and I thought it was the coolest idea. My Auntie gets each of my cousins a children’s book every year for Christmas that relates to something significant that happened in their life that year. So, not only do my cousins have all these cool books from her that commemorate their lives and contain a note from my aunt, when they have kids they will have a great start on a fabulous library for their little ones! I love this idea so much I had to start it with my girls, and I even gave Miss a book for last year. For last year I got her the beautiful book “On the Night You Were Born.”

Her book for this year is “Big Sister.”

And she opened Lass’s book, “On the Day You Were Born.”

I am so excited about the idea of getting an ornament and a book for my girls for each year. My favorite part of it is the note I wrote inside each of the books. I hope they will love these books always. This year I also started two other traditions. I will give the girls new jammies to wear on Christmas Eve (you can see these in my last post) and also will try to get a picture of them with Santa. This year, I was not terribly successful with this second tradition, despite trying twice. On my first attempt, I took the girls to a craft show where they had a Santa. Miss was very interested in Santa, but did not want to get close to him. She was so timid, I didn’t try to push her too much to sit on his lap by herself, so I just sat next to Santa with both of the girls on my lap.

Then when we were visiting my parents last week I took Miss and Lass to the story time at the library (my mom is the children’s librarian). They had a Santa come to story time and give gifts to the kids.

Miss was still kind of shy, but I thought I’d let her try to sit on his lap. Okay, I didn’t really let her try, I picked her up and plunked her on his lap just long enough to get this photo.

That Santa sure does look enthused! Tonight we leave for the farm. Some traditions for my husband’s family include having oyster stew and chili on Christmas Eve and having Santa come, as described in my last post. Tradition makes me feel nostalgic and warm and fuzzy. I’m sure my girls and I will continue to add other traditions in years to come. Perhaps making and decorating Christmas cookies will be one. That’s my project with Miss for today!

Christmas – Take 1

Posted on December 21, 2010 by Amy

My husband and I have different traditions for celebrating Christmas, as most married couples do. His family has traditionally celebrated on Christmas Eve and mine on Christmas day. When he was young his family used to go to Mass on Christmas Eve and come home to find that Santa had visited, so they would open presents from Santa and enjoy them until late at night. In more recent years, his family has spent Christmas Eve at the Farm, where Santa visits on Christmas Eve. All the grandkids play downstairs, the moms put out the kids stockings with gifts upstairs, one of the uncles or my father-in-law dresses up as Santa, stomps loudly on the floor, yells “Ho-Ho-Ho” and then runs like heck towards the lake, so as the kids run upstairs they just catch a glimpse of him from the deck as he runs off to get into his sleigh. When I was young we would put out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer and go to bed on Christmas Eve, barely able to sleep for the anticipation. Then we would wake up and drag my parents out of bed, and race downstairs to see what Santa had left us while we slept. We would play all morning with our new loot and always ate creamed eggs for breakfast. Yum.

Since we have been together, hubby and I have done different versions of these two traditions, depending on when we were able to travel to be with our families. These days we typically go to visit my family for a week in early-mid December, as we just did last week. That’s a good time for my husband to get a week off work and we can have a good long visit with my family, who live a bit farther away than my hubby’s family. Then we usually go to the Farm to have Christmas Eve and Christmas day with his family, if possible. The Farm is closer so it works better for a shorter trip. At times we have stayed home for Christmas because of my husband’s work schedule and traveled to the Farm for a weekend near Christmas. It didn’t really matter too much to us when “Santa” came. We just like to spend as much time as possible with family around the holidays. But now that we have Miss and Lass, and Miss is getting to the age where she is understanding some of the holiday celebrating and fun things, I am feeling the need to observe traditions more. I’ve been trying to figure out a good way to blend my husband’s family’s and my family’s traditions. What I’ve come up with is that we’ll pretty much need to continue doing what we’ve been doing, with a few special traditions added in that aren’t dependent upon where we are or when we exchange gifts (more on these later). We will likely still make the long trip to visit my family and then spend Christmas with his family when Christmas falls on a weekend as it does this year. When Christmas is on a weekday and my hubby can’t get two days off, we will have Christmas at home. When at the Farm, we’ll do his family tradition of Santa coming while the kids are still awake on Christmas Eve. When we’re at home, we’ll do my family tradition of Santa coming while our girls are asleep.

This year, since the girls are so young and won’t know that it doesn’t really work this way, I decided to have Christmas both ways. While at my parents’ house we did Christmas in my family’s tradition. Miss and I made cookies and put some out for Santa on Christmas Eve before she went to bed. We also put out a glass of milk and some carrots for the reindeer. I put her and Lass into their matching Christmas jammies and told her several times that Santa would be coming while she was sleeping. I don’t think she really got it. But the next morning I still showed her the mostly eaten cookies and carrots and told her that Santa and the reindeer had eaten them. She just kept asking to eat what was left herself.

Then we went in to the Christmas tree, where Santa had left gifts for her and Lass. I really expected her to be so excited and dig right in to the toys and books. Instead, she stood and just looked puzzled for a little bit.

Then she slowly sttarted picking up Lass’s and her toys, one by one, and handing them to me.

Lass played with a few of her toys a bit once Miss handed them to her (that’s a wooden snake in her hands below).

But mostly she just observed.

Finally Miss started really getting into her toys and playing with them.

She wanted to read all her new books.

And do new puzzles with her sister.

Then we had creamed eggs of course. My mom makes them much better than I do, and they were delicious. This was Miss’s first time having them and she seemed to like them okay. It was a special way to spend “Christmas” with the girls, reminding me of how it was when I was a kid. I loved it.

This weekend we will go to the Farm and have Christmas – Take 2. I know it will be just as fun.

Grandmas and Grandpas

Posted on November 11, 2010August 17, 2012 by Amy

Grandparents are great. I spent some time today looking at family photos and showing them to my girls. I like to tell them about my grandparents. I love seeing the photos of Miss with them. I feel sad because I will not be able to have photos of Lass with all of my grandparents. In the past year two of my grandparents passed away, and she will never meet them. Last December, my Papa B passed away and in February my Grandma C. I don’t want to make this a sad post or to sound like I’m saying, “Poor me.” The fact is, I don’t feel like “Poor me” at all. I am the only person I know who was lucky enough to have all four of my grandparents living and in relatively good health up until this past year. I’m in my mid thirties and have had a long time to enjoy great relationships with my all of my grandparents.

So, I know that Miss won’t remember my Grandma C and Papa B, and Lass will never meet them. But I talk about them. I want my girls to know how good they were and how much I loved them. How much they meant in my life and how often I still think of them. Right now I mostly just show pictures and tell the girls who they were. I do the same with pictures of my Grandma B and Grandpa C, who happily are still with us. When the girls are older I will tell them more. What kinds of things will I tell them?

Well, I’ll tell them how my Grandma C used to make pancakes in animal shapes. It seems like she could do any animal we requested. I’ll make her delicious potato salad with them and make sure they know it’s her recipe. And I’ll tell them that she used to give me free reign in her jewelry box, which was heaven for me as a little girl. I used to spend hours draping myself in her necklaces and clipping her earrings on. I’ll tell them that she always seemed absolutely thrilled to see me, and how good that made me feel. I’ll tell them that she never failed to tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me, as I have lived far away from her and my Grandpa for many years. I’ll tell them how much she loved Miss and how much she would have loved Lass had she been alive to know of her.

There are some things I find it hard to describe about her. Sometimes when I am rocking Lass, I notice that I am rocking and patting her in a rhythm that reminds me of my Grandma. I’m not sure why, as I’m sure I don’t remember her rocking me that way. Maybe I saw her rocking and patting my younger cousins or older cousins’ children that way. She loved holding babies! She was so loving and always wanted to hold my hand or pat my knee when we visited. Things like the sound of her voice or the feel of her hugs, which I remember well, will be hard to explain to my girls, but I will tell them as much as I can about her, so they can feel a little bit like they know her too.

I’ll tell my girls about my Papa B too. I’ll tell them that he was kind and funny. He was a great photographer, and I wish I would have become interested in photography when he was still living so I could have learned about it from him. I’ll tell my girls that he was hard working and a WWII veteran. We have his old coffee thermos that he used to take to work in our kitchen, and they’ll know that it belonged to their Great Papa. I’ll tell them about his wonderful warm voice and surprisingly soft hands. I’ll tell them about his great laugh. He had an ornery giggle when he was teasing, and a great happy laugh that made me smile. I’ll tell them that he was funny. I’ll tell them that he had a big laugh, and big ideas, and a big heart.

I’ll tell them how he was legally blind in the latter years of his life, but he still golfed. He just had my Grandma orient him to the ball and away he went. I’ll tell them how he obviously adored my Grandma, which was a wonderful thing to see. They were married nearly 70 years. I’ll tell my girls how he’d say “Hey Kid!” and pinch my side. At his memorial service this summer I showed Miss a photo of him and said “This is your Great Papa. Can you say Papa?” and she did, for the first time.

I love to tell my girls about my Grandma B and am excited for Miss to see her again and Lass to meet her in a few months when we go visit her. They have tangible items all around that are constant reminders to me and to them of her. Miss plays with a Raggedy Ann doll that my Grandma made for me when I was little. And my Grandma recently sent Miss a beautiful quilt (to be featured in a future post). There is an afghan crocheted by my Grandma and a pillow embroidered by her in Miss’s room. And Lass has a doll that my Grandma gave me. My Grandma puts love into her stitches, and we can wrap ourselves in it all the time. When we see or hold these things, I tell my girls where they came from.

I have many memories of singing with her as a little girl. She has a beautiful voice. She can play the piano and the dulcimer. She made the best grilled cheese sandwiches and we made s’mores on her gas stove. I can remember standing on a chair and her helping me to toast my marshmallow. Who needs a campfire?? And she makes a cherry cheesecake that is the best I’ve had. I just feel happy when I think of her. She is very special to me. She has always been patient and kind and loving. When I was in graduate school I went through a very painful break up. My Grandma sent me the most beautiful card to tell me that she was thinking of me. She is thoughtful that way and I’ll never forget how that card made me feel better at the time. I still have that card. My Grandma has always been the best at making everything better.

I loved seeing Miss with her this summer when we were together for my Papa’s memorial service.

My Grandma never wastes anything. She doesn’t throw things away if she can reuse them, and she often does. I think she said she was going to make flowers out of the tissue paper in the photo below. It seems like she can make anything. She makes most of her own clothes and made those of my Papa. She is the keeper of our family memory, putting together photo albums for everyone in the family packed with history.

My Grandpa C has a very special place in my heart. He is strong and proud and good and loving. He and my Grandma had six children and he always wore a tie clip with the birthstones of all of his children on it. I remember sitting on his lap when I was little and saying the names of all of my aunts and uncles as I pointed to each of their birthstones. I had a funny rhythm in which I would repeat the names, over and over, and he was always patient and attentive as I did it. I loved that tie clip!!

He calls me “Amesville” and has a similar nickname for nearly everyone in our family. I can hear his big voice in my head calling out this nickname when I would walk into their house in years past. Now his voice is softer but the nickname is the same, every time. He is Italian, and Miss was given an Italian name because of him. She goes by a shorter version of her legal name, but he always calls her by her given Italian name. He is the only one who does.

I also enjoy telling my girls about their Great Grandma S, my husband’s grandma. I don’t have the memories to tell them about her like I do with my grandparents, but I can tell them what a delightful woman she is and how loving and devoted to her family she is.

I think grandparents are the greatest thing. I think of mine often and hold my memories close. Even though I didn’t always live near them, they seem to be a big part of who I have become. I like to hear their stories, whether directly from them or from my parents. I could look for hours at the photo albums my Grandma B has put together with her captions. My favorite is the one of her and my Papa in their “courting” years and early years of their marriage.

In addition to having all four of my grandparents living until recently, I was fortunate enough to know two of my great grandmothers. I have great memories of them as well, particularly G-Grandma J, who lived near me when I was growing up. I remember writing a paper about her when I was in 5th grade and being so intrigued by her life. Family history is so important and special. I hope my girls will love it as much as I do.

And even though we don’t live near their grandparents either, I hope they will have wonderful relationships with them as well and make the same kind of memories that bring warmth as only grandparents can. That is why my husband and I travel with them as much as we do. To give our girls the gift of family and grandparents and great grandparents. There’s nothing like Grandmas and Grandpas.

They give lots of love.