Sisters

18 Things My Daughters Will Know Before They Turn 18

Posted on by Amy

The other day I was wandering around Pinterest, and I saw something that caught my eye. It was titled something like “15 things you should teach your daughter before she turns 18.” I don’t know why (it’s not like I choose the things to teach my daughters based on them), but I always enjoy reading these little lists. I often find them to be endearing. Sweet. Nice thoughts on mothering daughters. So I clicked on it and proceeded to read.

Unfortunately, this one was pretty disappointing, and even slightly disturbing. It had points like the following (I’m paraphrasing):

“The only alcoholic beverage you should drink from a bottle is beer.” Okay. This is true. But not one of my top 15 things to teach my daughters before they are 18.

“Every guy looks at other girls’ boobs. They can’t help it. Don’t take it personally.” Really? That’s what you want to teach your daughter before you send her off into the world? Ew.

And “Every slice of pizza you eat requires 30 minutes of running to burn it off. 2 slices, an hour, and so on. That doesn’t even count the beer.” I don’t even know where to begin with the issues I have with this statement. How about that it is just begging for the development of an eating disorder?

Anyway, there are 12 others there. Some of them aren’t so bad. One warns against cutting one’s own hair. Another recommends you don’t ask a question if you aren’t emotionally ready to hear an honest answer. I won’t go into all of them. You get the gist.

I realize that the author’s intent seemed to be preparing one’s daughter to leave home and go to college, where crazy parties and roller coaster relationships can wreak havoc with a young girl’s self esteem and even place her at risk when overindulging in alcohol, drugs, etc. Yes. I get that. I  also sense that perhaps this list was written a bit tongue in cheek. I don’t know. It certainly wasn’t cute or sweet or inspiring of warm and fuzzy thoughts of my future as a mother of daughters preparing them to go off into the world as strong, independent, compassionate women.

But reading that list did make me think about the things that I think are important for my daughters to learn before they are 18 (or before they leave the house). So here they are (some of them anyway).

18 Things My Daughters Will Know Before They Turn 18

1. How to change a tire, check oil, and use basic power tools.

2. How to accept a compliment graciously. A smile and a sincere “Thank you” are sufficient. Self-deprecation is not attractive.

3. When meeting someone new, shake hands firmly and make eye contact.

4. The joy of cooking. My Dad tried many times to teach me to cook before (and after) I left home. I was never into it. I always told him, “I’m an intelligent person Dad. I can read and follow a recipe to cook whatever I want.” This is true to a degree, but I viewed cooking as a chore and was really a horrible cook until well into my twenties when I started having fun with it. I want my daughters to learn that cooking is fun and to experience the joy of cooking good food for themselves and others.

5. Do not waste your time in a relationship with someone (boyfriend, friend, etc.) who doesn’t respect you and treat you as a priority. (And for Pete’s sake, if he’s looking at another girl’s boobs in front of you, ditch him!)

6. The things you eat and drink can either be your body’s best medicine or its worst poison. Eat real food and enjoy it. Eat only until you feel satisfied, even if it means leaving some food on your plate. Don’t deny yourself occasional “treats.” Everything in moderation.

And because I want my children to learn about alcohol and drugs from their Dad and me rather than from their peers:

7. Too much alcohol impairs ability to make good choices. Don’t impair your ability to make good choices. If you do drink, be responsible about it. Never, ever get into a car with a driver who has been drinking (including yourself). And from my paranoid side: Only accept drinks that are prepared in your sight, and don’t leave your drink unattended.

8. When you’ve had a bad day, turn up the music and dance until you feel better.

9. You don’t get anywhere in life by speaking negatively of others. If you feel that you need to cut someone else down in order to get ahead, you need to reevaluate where you’re heading. Avoid gossip and backbiting.

10. Be a good friend. Listen well. Friendship is a fine art (wisdom from Great Grandma S), and a true friend is a treasure.

11. Your sisters are your best friends for life. Don’t let disagreements linger. Forgive and love and protect each other no matter what.


12. Beauty and attractiveness are determined more by behavior than appearance. Be kind to others and carry yourself with grace and confidence always.

13. Family is always a top priority.

14. Learn about things for yourself. Don’t believe everything you hear. Know how to do your own research. Form your own opinions.

15. Trust your instincts. If you have a “gut feeling” about something, listen to it.

16. Dress in a classy manner. “Stylish” does not mean “revealing” or “skin tight.” Unless you’re wearing a bathing suit, I guess.

17. Never let someone (including yourself!) tell you you can’t do something. As your Dad likes to say, “If I cannot find a way, I will make one.”

18. If you choose to pursue something, always do it to the fullest. You’ll never regret working hard for something.

What would you add?

 

 

Preschool Dropout

Posted on by Amy

Yesterday was Miss’s last day of preschool.

Recently, my husband and I decided that we would take her out of preschool and just start our homeschooling journey with her now. It was a little hard to make the decision to take her out, but only because I really love her school. It’s such a wonderful little place and her teachers are fantastic. When my husband and I decided in May that we will be homeschooling our girls, I thought that I would want to keep Miss in Preschool until the time for her to start Kindergarten (and send Lass and Sis when they got old enough). My reasoning for this was that she enjoys school and could have some good experiences in a fun learning environment that is more under my control than regular school would be beyond the preschool years. I could choose to send her only two mornings a week. I could choose the days she goes (LOVE this about her school). I could take her out of school to travel whenever necessary.

Additionally, her school is small, with mixed age groups and a really wonderful environment. It’s a mix of Montessori and traditional preschool styles that I think is really great. And I know of at least one instance when the owner of the school, after trying really hard to help a disruptive child, decided that the child could no longer attend because of the disruptions to the other kids. It’s not that I loved the idea that a child was asked to leave her school, but I was super glad that it was an option for her teachers to remove a child who was causing problems, when attempts at correcting the issues were unsuccessful. That would never happen in many other school settings.

I have always felt comfortable with and confident about Miss’s preschool, and at the time it seemed like the right thing to send her back at the start of this school year.

Problem is, her school is about 25 minutes from our house, and this fall juggling the younger two girls while getting her to school just seemed like more than I wanted to do. Sis’s schedule tends to get screwed up on school days. I never had as much time to run errands and get things done while Miss was at school as I thought I would.

Plus, I just want her home with me.

So I decided she would be done with school at the end of October. I talked with her about this, and she was fine with it. Her last day was the school’s Halloween party. It was a fun way to close out her preschool experience. All of us girls were in attendance.

Miss was super excited to show Lass her school.

I love seeing how much their relationship has grown just since last school year. The last time I had Lass at Miss’s school she seemed so much younger than the kids there. This time she fit right in.

They are the best of friends. I can’t wait to see how they grow together now that we’ll be starting “preschool” at our house.

And speaking of growing, our littlest ballerina is getting ready to move.

I’m so not ready for mobility.

Her first Halloween was lots of fun. She snuggled right in to go Trick or Treating with her big sisters. Or as Lass says, “Trick or Tricking”

It was pretty chilly last night, so we kept asking them if they wanted their hoods up. Miss said, “Nope. I like to feel the breeze in my hair.”

They were a little bit shy at the first house we visited.

But after that they were such funny, outgoing little trick or treaters. They actually stepped right into the second house on our route!

We did a quick sweep of our little neighborhood and rushed home to get into jammies and hit the road.

We’re at the Farm for the next week and a half for deer hunting.

It will be our first week of home preschool, and we’re going freestyle.

Tonight we watched five deer out the window. We talked all about does vs. bucks and had a cool experience when Miss banged on the window and the buck on the lawn looked right up at her. She was excited when I explained that he had heard her and was trying to figure out what the noise was. We watched him run off a few minutes later.

I haven’t yet decided if I’m going to actually get a preschool curriculum or just go with some of the things that are easily available online, some of the stuff that Miss did at her school, and lots of playing. I’m leaning towards the latter. I’m a little bit nervous about “doing it right,” but I think we’ll be okay.

I’m excited about having my oldest girl home with me full time again.

 

Our First Homeschool Field Trip

Posted on by Amy

One thing I was nervous about when trying to make the decision about whether to homeschool our girls was finding a local group of homeschoolers with whom we would fit. It took a while, but I eventually did find a group and was really excited to start going to functions and meeting other homeschooling families. Then I realized most things the group was planning were geared toward older kids or took place during nap time. So I’ve been stalking the group’s FB page, waiting and hoping for an activity that I could get to with Miss, if not all three of the girls. Today, we made it to our first field trip.

We went to the fire station.

The trip occurred during nap time, but I got a babysitter for the two younger girls and told Miss she could skip her nap today. While we were driving to the fire station, Miss asked me why Lass and Sis couldn’t come with us. I told her that they were too young to skip their naps. I said how excited I was to have some time to spend just with her. Know what she said? “Yeah. But I wish my sisters were with me.” Love this girl.

She got a big kick out of the firefighter in his “robot” suit.

After our lesson on fire safety, we got to take a tour of the fire station and look at all the trucks.

I loved this. It reminded me of many, many visits to the fire station to see my Dad when I was a girl. I talked to Miss about how her Grandpa was and her uncle is firefighter as we walked around the station. I told her that Grandpa’s fire station had a pole that the firefighters slid down when the fire alarm rang, and that I used to slide down it (okay, just halfway) when I was little.

She got to check out the engine.

It was a good afternoon with my oldest girl.

I must admit I was very nervous going to this field trip. I felt like the new kid in school. I really wanted to meet some other families we could connect with on our homeschool journey. Unfortunately, the situation was not really conducive to lots of visiting with other moms. I did meet one other mom briefly, but there was no chance for chatting or bonding. I had fun anyway, and I can see us doing this regularly. Except for the nap skipping thing. That didn’t work out so well come bedtime tonight.

After our field trip, Miss and I rounded out our special afternoon together by getting some ice cream. This girl takes after her mama. She loves some ice cream.

And this ice cream was good.

I loved sitting with my girl and chatting over ice cream. She’s funny, my girl is. She was singing and laughing and making up silly stories.

She was eager to go next door to the book store and check things out. She is her mama’s daughter. This one loves books. Books and ice cream. Yep.

It was a great afternoon.

 

A Birthday Preview

Posted on by Amy

Somebody turns two on Friday.

We had a little birthday party for her with my husband’s family while visiting with them this past weekend.  She was so excited, walking around all day leading up to the party telling everyone, “It my buh-day pahdy!”

She wasn’t quite sure what to make of it when everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to her, and she was a little hesitant at first about blowing out her candle.  But once she figured out what she was supposed to do she got it done and looked very proud of herself.

She had been waiting all day for this…

Miss got a big laugh out of the chocolate on her face.

I was a little nervous about how Miss would do in the face of seeing her sister get all kinds of cool presents when she wasn’t getting any for herself.  She’s in a “scream first, think later” phase right now, so I thought she might totally melt down.  Happily, she did not.  She did have a few moments of jumping around with “Ooh, I want that, I want that, can I have one of those?” but listened well when I explained things to her and didn’t scream or otherwise throw a fit.

I think she really was excited for her sister, and Lass shared her new loot quite nicely.  Sisters rock.

Even with all the gifts, this thing was the big hit of the evening.

Lass’s actual birthday is on Friday.  We will do lots of fun stuff and have a small party just with our family in the evening.  Instead of cake they’ll get to make their own ice cream sundaes.  I’m so excited.  I love when my girls have birthdays.  I love to see their excitement and joy.  Of course I also get all nostalgic and marvel at how big they’re getting and how all of their baby days seem to have flown by.  And I say it, every time, “I can’t believe she’s __!”  I can’t believe she’s almost two.

Pretending

Posted on by Amy
I love to watch my girls pretend.  Their little imaginations are so funny and amazing and beautiful.  They take their favorite parts of their favorite stories and mix them all up to make a whole new story.  They play off of each other and come up with entirely new scenarios.  I can’t get enough of it.  

It helps that recently I scored a few great dress-up bargains for them.  Our at-home dress up was kind of pitiful, so I found one princess dress at an online consignment shop (with a 40% off coupon too!), got a bag full of three other outfits plus jewelry from Craigslist for cheap, pulled out an old flower girl dress, and presto!  We have dress up.

True to their personalities, Miss changes from one outfit to another, depending on what she’s doing.

While Lass finds one outfit and stays with it.  She may change her accessories, but she’s not giving up that green Tinkerbell outfit, which she calls her “fit” (outfit).  She puts it on and beams, “I Wedda!” (I’m Cinderella!)

They try to dress up Sis too so she won’t feel left out.

We have been tea-partying like crazy here.  Miss always insists on putting on the purple dress for the tea parties.

We have lots of “Cheers!” and pinkies out and all that.

Sis is loving her Bumbo, which allows her to be part of the action.

I love to see how the girls interpret the stories they read and see in videos.  At one point Miss was pretending that the Evil Queen had stolen Snow White’s voice (like Ursula does to Ariel).  She has started having lots of fun with trying to get us to read her lips.  Today at lunch she said, “Momma, do you know what I’m saying?” and she kept mouthing the same thing over and over, in a really exaggerated way.  I really tried, but I had no idea what it was.  Finally she sighed and said, “Mom, I was saying ‘Casey Jones’!!” As in the train from the Dumbo book.  Oh.  Duh.

They love to have me be the Evil Queen and act out the poisoned apple scene.  Here they were running away from me as Evil Queen.

I “convinced” Miss to taste the poisoned apple.

She fell dramatically to the floor.

Then she called to her sister, “Come on and kiss me so I can wake up!”

They did this over and over.  They make me laugh.

Of course, we don’t only play Princess.  We play Chef and Mommy and today they were Doctors.

Lass loves to hold the play stethoscope up to my leg (or arm or nose) and say, “Momma you sick!”

I laugh a lot these days.

Simple

Posted on by Amy
This weekend I’m enjoying simple things.  Lilacs in mason jars on my counter and table.  Big smiles and hugs from my girls.  Playing outside in amazing, warm weather.  Watching imaginations bloom and sister games develop.  Great times with wonderful friends.  Date night.  Some lovely real snail mail notes from my Grandma and a sister in law.  We’re not doing anything extravagant or big this weekend, but doing simple things together is exactly what makes me happy right now.

Miss has had some trouble with a bit of eczema.  We discovered it was probably largely being caused by her frequent wearing of her “ballerina costume.”  So I have had to tell her she can no longer wear it and explain why.  I was worried this might lead to an all out screaming fit.  But to her credit, Miss has taken this in stride and is now just working on expanding her dress up repertoire.  At a play date on Friday she was a doctor.  Yesterday, she was a princess.  She had been wearing high-heeled play shoes and carrying a Snow White purse in addition to her tutu and crown, but in preparation to go outside to play, we discussed every princess’s need for real shoes and sunglasses.  She chose boots.  It’s a good look.

I believe this stick was supposed to be some sort of weapon for fending off the “Evil Queen,” her sister.

The weapon of the Evil Queen?  A watering can.

Miss chose this rock as her place from which to defend herself.
“Here she comes!!!”
Terrifying, eh?

The battle.

It was epic, of course.  Miss alternates between enlisting her sister in the roles of “Monster,” “Evil Queen,” and “Prince Charming.”  Lass plays along happily.  It’s so fun to watch.

Last night I think my husband and I finally reached real “grown up” status.  We had a grown up night and play date in one.  It was awesome.  Our friends came over with their three kids, my husband cooked ribs, the kids played, no one got hurt or threw a tantrum, my friend and I chased kids around and had a some great grown up conversation (as only moms can do while managing five kids running and climbing all over and one newborn), and our husbands consumed a couple of grown up beverages while talking about manly things and occasionally bouncing a baby.  Good food and good company led to a supremely enjoyable evening.

The four oldest kids all crammed into our tiny sandbox.  This thing was the entertainment hit of the evening.  They all played in there, even dumping sand over each others’ heads, and never once was there an argument amongst them.

It was beautiful.

This little munchkin was the star of the show.  She loves to be outside, and she rocked the bouncy seat when she wasn’t eating or napping in her swing inside.  A good time was had by all.

Today we’re having a lazy Sunday at home.  The big girls are outside playing with their daddy.  Our garden is starting to produce a few items ready to be eaten (radishes and lettuce).  We have lots of leftovers from dinner last night, so I won’t have to cook.  This is the life.  Happy weekend to you.

Things I Loved This Week

Posted on by Amy
I lost my camera cord for uploading photos for a few days.  I found it yesterday and uploaded a ton of fun photos from the past week.  So here’s a big post of some things I’ve been loving this week, chock full of lots of pics. 
I’m loving new fashion statements.
My Auntie sent a package last week with some things for all of the girls.  My big girls had a field day with these headbands and balloons.  I love that they put the headbands on like little hippies.

When I was little, I was very into dressing up.  I used to have a field day at my Grandma’s house because she would let me play in her jewelry box, which was full of tons of necklaces and clip on earrings.  My Mom’s jewelry box, on the other hand, was sadly lacking fun dress up items, as was her closet.  I think she owned one pair of high heels.  They were silver, from my Auntie’s wedding, I think. I loved that one pair of beautiful shoes.  My Mom just wasn’t really a shoe gal.  Or a purse gal.  Or a clothes gal.  Therefore, my dress up options when I played in her closet were nearly nonexistent.  My girls will not have the same problem.  They get into my closet and have a field day with all sorts of heels and purses.

They have a box of their own things in their play room too.  Shoes have been big this week.

I’m loving sister bonding.

These two have really gotten into wrestling in the past few days.

But they’re always super sweet and gentle with Baby Sis.

I’m loving watching this one.

I’m loving conversations with my girls.

My two big girls are so chatty and have so much to say.  Lass’s language is really exploding and she is starting to speak in sentences.  She can say just about anything, though sometimes it’s hard to understand her at first.  She makes me smile and often laugh with the little things she says. She loves to play “Shark” right now, and so she tends to yell the word any time she’s in the mood to play, which is quite often.  It makes me giggle that her pronunciation of the word is “Shart.”  Yep.  Full volume.  All the time.  It cracks me up.

I also love listening to my girls talk to each other.  They have real conversations now.  Miss understands Lass nearly as well as I do, so they talk about all sorts of stuff.  I love that Miss calls her “Honey” a lot and likes to try to teach her new things and tell her what to do.  She’s trying to help her learn ABCs and counting.  It’s adorable to watch and listen to them.

Life is so good.

Easter Fun

Posted on by Amy
We have had a fun Easter weekend.  The girls dyed eggs with me last night.

I got the idea to use a whisk to hold the eggs from Pinterest. It worked really well, though the whisk I used for Lass was a little bit small to fit the eggs into.  I also had to adjust the level of water in the cups and the position of the eggs in the whisks in order to be able to get the eggs submerged fully.  But, this was much easier than the way we did it last year, dropping the eggs into the dye and having Miss try to fish them out with a spoon.

Miss pretty much dyed all the eggs.  Lass did one egg and then lost interest.

This morning we hunted eggs and baskets.

It was Lass’s first experience with the Easter egg/basket hunt.

She caught on quite quickly.

I love the dollar section at Target.  So much good basket filler!

Baby Sis was still sleeping while we hunted, but the Easter Bunny left her a special basket too.

I finally got a few photos with all three of my girls together.

We went to brunch with the Easter Bunny.  The girls were so interested in the bunny when he was across the room, but once he came close, they were much more reserved.  Lass wouldn’t even take a toy from his basket, though as soon as we left, she kept asking for him.  “Bunny?  Bunny?”

Miss was a bit more brave and selected a toy.  She even shook his hand.

Baby Sis was an angel at brunch.  She is such an easygoing baby.  She got all tired out from our adventures of the morning.

Sweet little bunny…

Happy Easter!

Pigtails and Stuff

Posted on by Amy
I got both of my girls to wear pigtails in their hair for a brief time yesterday.  Miss usually won’t let me do anything with her hair except a ponytail, but when I put Lass’s hair in pigtails yesterday, she was suddenly interested.  I just had to get a photo of the two of them together.

Preferably with both of them looking at the camera…

I love Miss’s posed smiles for photos.

Close enough!

Miss really wanted to put her Baby Sis’s hair in pigtails too.

We’ve had a great week.

Almost every day we’ve gotten out of the house at least a little bit.  Yesterday we stayed home for a lazy day, but otherwise we’ve been out and about.  I already mentioned getting out for gymnastics class on Monday.  Tuesday I got the girls up and was determined to get Miss to school on time.  I got them all ready to go and we got out the door only a few minutes late for the 25-minute drive to Miss’s school.  We got there and I got Miss up to the door, only to realize that I had completely forgotten it was Spring Break this week.  Miss didn’t really get what Spring Break is, but we had a good laugh about going to school when it was closed.

The girls love playing with their Baby Sis’s stuff.  The photo below looks a bit hostile, but Miss was just showing Lass how to cover her mouth when she coughs.

Sister hugs.

And kisses.

Nothing like playing soccer with sparkly Mary-Jane-ish shoes on.

Baby Sis is sleeping and nursing like a champ.  She wakes up once at night and then sleeps late.  All of my girls have been sleeping a little bit late this week (except Tuesday when I had to wake them all up for “school”) so I have been thoroughly enjoying sleeping until 8.  And my husband is off work for the next week.  I’m loving this and the Easter festivities coming up this weekend with dyeing eggs, hunting for eggs and baskets, and meeting the Easter Bunny on Sunday.  I’m a happy mama.

Happily Rolling Along

Posted on by Amy
We are adjusting happily to having Baby Sis home.
I was thrilled with the response of my big girls when we first brought her home.  Miss was ecstatic.  Lass was intrigued.  They were both happy and loving.

Miss ran right into her room to get a book to read to “Baby Sissy.”

Lass kept wanting to pull her blankets off to see her better.

And my protective eldest repeatedly put the blankets back on, very gently, so she wouldn’t get cold.

Miss was excited to help with her sister’s first bath at home.

She constantly wants to hold “her baby.”  Lass just wants to wear multiple tutus (there are five on her below).

We had a bit of a birthday party over the weekend.

And the girls “helped” their Daddy start getting ready to plant our garden.

Miss spent lots of time telling stories with her Grandma.  I think this one was a story about how her baby sister spit up, and how Lass used to spit up when she was a baby, and Miss herself used to spit up when she was a baby…

I was sad that my parents left this morning, but must say I’m pleased with how our first day on our own went.  I even got a shower and made it with all three girls to Miss’s gymnastics class.  Early.  Miss is very into helping and she and Lass play together so well, the adjustment has gone very well so far.  I have been told that the shift from two kids to three is easier than the transition from one to two.  I’d say I agree with that.  A good friend of mine also made a statement that I think is very true.  She said, “No matter how many kids you have, when you bring home a new baby it’s going to make things a bit crazy for a while.”  Yep.  Today, though I made it to gymnastics with clean hair and three adequately dressed and groomed children, I did forget to brush my teeth and put a coat on.  Goals for tomorrow, I suppose…