School

Can’t We Just Play?

Posted on by Amy
I think sometimes the best opportunities for play and learning come from the simplest things.

Like a bowl of gourds.  A couple of hedge apples.  An acorn found.

Recently I had a conversation with some people about their experiences and thoughts on their childrens’ educations.  The children of these other folks are older than mine and most of them are already in school.  It was kind of shocking to me that these other parents were talking about the importance of sending their children to the right private preschools and grammar schools so that they would be able to get into an Ivy League school when the time comes for college.  These are kids in kindergarten, maybe second grade.  I had never really heard of such an idea before.  I was surprised to hear that some people think that going to *gasp* public school is practically a death sentence in terms of one’s later educational and occupational opportunities.  My husband and I both attended public schools growing up, public universities and public graduate schools, and I think we’re both doing just fine.  We both have successful, fulfilling careers (though my professional career is mostly on hold for now, of course).  I don’t think anything would have been significantly different for either of us if we had attended fancy private schools and/or obtained degrees from Ivy League universities in terms of where we find ourselves professionally and intellectually.  We would probably just have a lot more debt.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t have anything against private schools.  Lots of people send their children to private schools for lots of different reasons.  Some for religious reasons.  Some are not fortunate enough to live in a place where the public school system is good.  We happen to be lucky that where we live, the public schools are great, and I fully intend to send our girls to them.  I’m not trying to pass judgement on public versus private schools.  I think as parents, we just try to make the best of what we have.  I know I want to give my kids every opportunity to succeed and excel.  But I personally believe that much of their success and happiness is going to come much more from what my husband and I teach them about life and working hard for what you want than about any particular school we could send them to, or thing we could buy for them, or whether they know their multiplication tables by age six.

After I started thinking about this whole idea, I saw an article that my cousin posted on Facebook.  It’s from Scientific American and is called “Preschool Tests Take Time Away From Play — And Learning.”  It’s a great article reminding us that the best way for young children to learn is to play and cautioning against too much stressful testing and direct instruction for preschoolers.  Again, this type of super-focused preschool is not something I had ever really thought of before.  One of the things I love about Miss’s school is that they have time for open play and exploration every day.  And they color, they paint, they manipulate water and sand and flour, they glue stuff, they grow plants and have a worm composter, they do yoga.  They learn mostly through experience rather than sitting and listening to someone teach them about the geography of Asia or the different periods of Picasso’s art.  They do preschool at her preschool.  She’s allowed to go only twice a week and it’s fun for her.

I love to watch my girls play.  They are so amazing at it.  And another thing I love?  What I think is the best “school” for little minds?  This:

No worries, this nest did not have any wasps in it!

Taking my girls outside and to other places to experience things hands on is the best thing ever.  This week Miss has found walnuts and acorns, some whole and some eaten by squirrels.  She has gotten to hold some cool fossils that have been found here (in case you’re wondering, we’re at the Farm for deer hunting).  She has seen lots of deer running, some bucks chasing does.  She has seen an almost completely eaten squirrel (she said, “Yuck”).  She has held deer antlers.  Lass has filled and dumped the bowl of gourds over and over.  She has picked up rocks and sticks, and both girls have sat and jumped in leaves.  With each of these experiences, we have talked to the girls about what they are seeing.  Miss asks questions.  Their time here and in other places where they can see and touch and play with the things around them provide such rich learning experiences.

My girls don’t have to go to Harvard.  They can if they want to, but it’s not necessary.  We will stress the importance of a good education, sure.  But they will also learn that the best education comes from embracing life and the world around them and learning from every experience.  And for now, we’ll play.

A Few Thoughts On Raising Daughters

Posted on by Amy
I often think about how to teach my daughters to be assertive.  In our culture, girls and women are often given the message that they should always be agreeable  and nice rather than speaking their mind.  I want to raise daughters who will be strong, independent, and confident, as well as being nice people.  Daughters who will not afraid to voice an opinion, go against the grain, and stick up for themselves when necessary.
 After school today she insisted on getting back into her Halloween costume so she could be “a beautiful ballerina.”  I love it.
So far this little one seems to have no trouble expressing her feelings about things.

Yesterday at her school Halloween party, I saw a boy push Miss a few times.  She came over to me after it happened the first time and seemed quite intimidated.  I admit, my immediate instinct when I first saw it was to go and tell the boy to please not push.  Instead, I talked to her about how shecould tell the boy to please not push her.

This morning, after a week of no tears and great school experiences, she was a bit upset about going to school again.  I thought it might have something to do with that boy, so I reminded her of what we had talked about yesterday and how to handle it if another kid pushed or hit her.  She then mentioned that the boy had pulled her hair yesterday as well.  When I dropped her off at school I informed her teacher of my concerns about what had happened.  She was very responsive and reassured me about the issue.

When I picked Miss up, I experienced a major proud mommy moment.  Miss’s teacher told me that Miss had turned to the boy who had pushed her and pulled her hair yesterday and said, completely on her own, “I didn’t like it when you pulled my hair.”  Simple and direct. The boy apologized.  I am so incredibly proud of her!

As a mother of daughters, it is so important to me that they learn to stick up for themselves.  To not be afraid to voice disagreement with something they think is wrong or to tell someone to stop it if they are being treated badly.  Right now it’s pushing and hair pulling.  Later on they might have to be assertive if faced with bullying, “mean girl” behaviors, or overly zealous attentions from hormone-crazed boys.  When they are older, I will teach them some good ways to knock down the hormone-crazed boys (literally and figuratively) if necessary.  Their dad can teach them some good wrestling moves.

But for today, I’m pretty darn proud of “I didn’t like it when you pulled my hair.”  That’s my girl.

Bring on the Ickies

Posted on by Amy
Miss went to school today.  Her teacher texted me this photo of her having fun.  Unfortunately, she came home with pink eye.

I knew that she would probably get every yucky, germy illness known to humankind now that she’s started school.  But ew.  Pinkeye?  Really?  At least it’s not the really goopy, crusty kind.  Her eye is just red.  My husband said that’s because it’s viral instead of bacterial.  The bummer is I can’t just go get antibiotic eye drops to make it go away fast.  This one might take a little while.  The good thing is she doesn’t seem bothered by it a bit.

She’s still my little sunshine, just with very frequently washed hands.

Gotta try my best to keep the germies away from this little one.

I’m sure the next few months will be peppered with lots of illnesses picked up at preschool.  We’ll try to keep them to a minimum.  I’m loaded down with Wet Wipes and hand sanitizer, and of course we wash hands a lot.  But the ickies will come anyway.  We’ll take them in stride and hopefully my littles won’t be knocked low for long by anything.

The First Week of Preschool

Posted on by Amy

Yesterday was Miss’s first day of preschool.  She was excited, though a bit apprehensive.

When she got to school she did a great job of getting into playing with other kids at first.  Her teacher told me she had a bit of a hard time a few times during the day, and Miss told me herself again, “I cwied because my want you.”  Overall it was a pretty good first day though, I think.

Lass and I spent some fun time together.  Rather than drive the almost 30 minutes back home, we went to a local cafe where there are lots of toys and kids to play with.

They also had a little free music class that we got into a bit.  She seemed to enjoy her one on one time with Mom.

We were both happy to go get big sis though.  Miss was pretty quiet about her day at school, but I tried to make a big deal out of what a big girl she was and how special her first day was.  Here she’s holding up her back pack before we got in the car.  She’s also holding a Wish Bear Care Bear that my Auntie got her. She takes that thing everywhere with her.  Fortunately I convinced her to leave it in her back pack during her school time.

We went back to the cafe where Lass and I had spent the morning for a special “First Day of School Lunch,” complete with a special “First Day of School Chocolate Chip Cookie Treat.”  

After lunch I watched Miss interact with some older kids in a new way.  She walked up to them and said, “Hi.  What are you doing?”  Then she proceeded to play with them, and even asked them to play catch with her.  Her teacher had mentioned when I picked her up that day that one of the things Miss had a little bit of trouble with at school was initiating play with the other kids, so I wondered if this new behavior was a result of something her teacher had taught her just that day (her teacher confirmed this when I took her to school this morning, and I was really excited to be seeing new skills already).

Today was the second day of school, and the last of her school “week.”  It was both better and worse.  It started out worse.  When Miss woke up and I told her we had to get going to get ready for school, she said, “I don’t wike it Mommy.  Can you come to school with me?”

We managed to get ready and head out to school, only for her to tell me again and again (in the parking lot as soon as she realized where she was, right inside to door, at her designated coat area, etc.) that she didn’t like it.  She grabbed on to my legs and buried her face in my knees.  It was not fun. Then she said, “I don’t want that girl to grab me,” in response to which her teacher explained that another one of the really young students had been trying to hug Miss and play with her the day before and Miss had gotten upset.  So her teacher and I talked to her about this and how to handle it, and then her teacher mentioned that they were going to play with a water table that day.  She perked up at that.  My girl loves to play with water.  However, she was still super clingy and wouldn’t let go of my legs, so I asked the teacher what I should do.  She suggested I take Miss over to choose her “job” for that day.  They have a job board with lots of different classroom chores on it, and each child gets to choose their job for the day and clip a clothespin with their name on it to the job of their choice.  Keeping with the water theme and something I know she loves to do at home, I asked Miss if she’d like to help water the plants that day as her job.  She smiled and agreed and clipped her clothespin on the board.  She loves water.  She loves plants.  Bingo.

Photos from today after school.  She’s wearing the new tutu I made for her last night.
As we were putting her clothespin on the board, she saw the other kids playing and got excited to go play with them.  She barely remembered to give me a kiss goodbye.  But I did tell her I was leaving and gave her a kiss and off she went to play.  So far, so good.
Then I kind of screwed it up.  I saw another mom I know as I was walking out the door and stopped to chat with her for a minute, in view of the door.  Miss saw me and I heard her start crying.  It was all I could do to not run back into the classroom.  I got a panicky feeling and felt my body lean towards the door, as if, independently from my mind, it almost had to go to her.  But I didn’t.  I knew it would be better if I just left.  I trust her teachers.  And it all turned out okay.  
When I went to pick her up today, she was smiling and telling me about the fun things she had done that day.  She loved the water table and her snack and doing their daily yoga pose.  And the best thing? Several times since leaving school today she has said, “I wike it Mommy.”  Next week will be easier.