How Christmas is Different Around Here This Year (And How It’s the Same)

Posted on December 6, 2013 by Amy

Linking up with Jen at Conversion Diary again.

Today I’m going to write 7 Quick Takes about celebrating Christmas as the birth of Jesus rather than just a fun magical time to take the kids to do fun things and look forward to Santa. Things are a little different around here this year. I am trying to figure out how to combine old traditions with new ones without going overboard and doing too much stuff. I think I’m doing a fairly decent job so far.

1. We still put up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. I refuse to have any Christmas-ing (music, decorations, etc.) in our house until Thanksgiving has been properly celebrated (in our house this year that involved lots of meat processing)

But once Thanksgiving is done, I’m all about getting the Christmas stuff going. Music, decor, wrapping, the works. And of course, the biggie is the Christmas tree. The big girls helped a lot this year.

Okay, they pulled lots of ornaments out of the box.

And Sis enjoyed the end result.

We used to keep the tree in the family room, but we moved it into the office this year. Sis is such a climber and a stinker that I knew I wouldn’t have a moment of peace for the next month if I didn’t. Now I get to enjoy it every morning while I have my coffee and every evening while I visit with my husband.

I love our tree. I could go on and on about how much I love it, but I have done that for the past two years (at least). If you care to read all about it again, you can look at the 2011 and 2012 posts about it.

2. I have added some true Advent activities this year. Last year, I didn’t even know what Advent really is. This year, we have our very own Advent wreath.

I’m ridiculously proud of the fact that I put it together for less than $15 with stuff from Hobby Lobby and the Dollar Tree (surprise, surprise, two of my favorite places to shop).

I also got some new Christmas books, added them to most of our old Christmas books, and wrapped them up for the girls to open, one each day of Advent.

I got the idea to wrap them in purple and pink from Shower of Roses (I got some book ideas there too, she has great book lists).

3. I am still doing our Advent calendar that we used last year, but this year it’s also our Jesse tree. I just put new ornaments in the pockets and the felt tree works just fine.

4. I debated putting the cards in the pockets with different fun things to do each day. I was afraid that would be overwhelming. But we really enjoyed it last year, so I’m doing it again. It hasn’t seemed like too much so far. I figured some of the things I put in the pockets will be activities on our Winter Fun List, so I’ll kill two birds and all that.

One thing has changed though, in that I’m adding the cards to the pockets only the night before or the morning that we pull them out. I don’t have it in me to plan too far ahead at this point. In this first week already on most days I’ve just written on the card something we were going to do that day anyway, like today’s, “Drop off presents for families at church and shop for Daddy’s birthday.” Not thrilling stuff, but having it written down and pulling it out of a little pocket with a flourish and a gasp makes it so much more exciting.

5. It’s working well to do it one day at a time. I knew I wanted to take the girls to Nutcracker in the Castle some time this week, but wasn’t sure which day. On Wednesday morning, I decided we’d do it. I put the card in the pocket while the girls were playing. They didn’t even notice me putting it in there. I didn’t even have to plan ahead. Win-win.

I’m so disappointed with the quality of my photos from our outing. This event was in a local art museum, housed in an old mansion. They decorate every room as part of the Nutcracker story (they have Clara’s bedroom, a Sugarplum Fairy room, Drosselmeyer’s workshop, etc.). On the website it said photography is not allowed in the museum, so I didn’t even bring my camera. Then I got there and they said you could take pictures in the first big drawing room, which was decked out like the family’s main room with their big Christmas tree and toys underneath that they were allowed to play with.

It was so amazing, and my photos stink. The room was pretty dim, and the flash on my phone is crummy.

They had beautiful trees and decorations all through the museum, but the girls loved this room the best. They played with the toys and danced to the Sugarplum Fairy music.

I practically had to drag them out of there.

6. Last night we had another first:

Saint Nicholas came to our house and put small goodies in the girls’ shoes. They are loving reading about him.

7. I actually know the Christmas story now. I used to know that it was about Baby Jesus being born in a barn, and Mary and Joseph were there of course, and then there was something about a shepherd and a few wise men and a drummer boy…

This year, for the first time that I can remember, I actually know the story for real, from the Annunciation to the Epiphany (I can’t believe I just wrote “Annunciation” and “Epiphany” and that I know what they mean).

My kids even have a couple of nativities to play with and they act out the whole story too.

This year things are different and yet the same. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I hope you’re enjoying it as much as we are!

On Bread and Wine. Bear With Me Please.

Posted on November 19, 2013June 16, 2017 by Amy

Yesterday I started attending a Bible study with a group of moms who have been meeting for over a year now. I was excited but also very nervous about attending.

In the group there are three (maybe four?) moms who are “cradle Catholics,” a term I have learned to mean those who were born and raised Catholic. There are two women who converted to Catholicism as adults. And then there’s me, in the process of converting.

So, yesterday was my first day.

Please forgive me for what I’m about to write. I’m no apologist. I know I won’t say all the things quite right. Bear with me.

Anyway, this study is focused on the Mass. We started by watching a video in which the author of the book we’re using discussed the Eucharist, including the fact that Catholics believe that through the process of consecration during Mass, the priest actually transforms the bread and water into the body and blood of Christ. While other religions typically see the bread and wine as symbolic of Christ’s body and blood, Catholics say they actually are these things.

This is a tough thing to understand and, for many, hard to believe. And yesterday we talked about how, of course, the Catholic Church does not say that the bread and wine actually undergo a chemical change of any kind. Under a microscope, for example, they still look like bread and wine, obviously. But through transubstantiation Jesus becomes present in them, and then present in us through the Eucharist. I think that’s right, anyway.

So as I was watching the video, a thought occurred to me that seemed so important. It was like a little “Aha!” moment for me. I wanted to share it with the other ladies. Then I had a little conversation with myself that went something like this:

Me: “When the video is over, I should share this interesting thought that I just had.”

Me: “Don’t do it.”

Me: “But I just had an epiphany of sorts!”

Me: “Don’t do it.”

Me: “But I should say something so I don’t just sit here like a lump the whole time.”

Me: “Don’t do it. It’s your first day. You don’t know what the heck you’re talking about. Just keep your mouth shut.”

Me: “Okay.”

Then the video ended and we started discussing. Guess what? I impulsively blurted out my “Aha!” thought. It really did sound intelligent and interesting in my head. Naturally, it didn’t come out that way at. all.

I said something to the effect of “So, while I was watching just now I had this thought, and I guess this probably isn’t such news to you guys, but it occurred to me that when they’re talking about eating the body of Christ, well, you know, I mean, He was both God and man, He always has been, I mean, He was, and um… uh… well, so it’s not like eating His body is meant to mean chewing on His leg or something…”

Dear Lord, what???? No, that’s not AT ALL how it sounded in my head.

What I meant to convey was basically that I had been contemplating how some people (myself included at times, if I’m honest) think that the idea of eating the body of Christ is kind of weird. I suspect this is because, well, it is not really a cool thing to eat a person. So that’s where my “Aha!” moment came in yesterday, because of course Jesus wasn’t just a person. Obviously, I already knew that. But my connecting the understanding of He was God and man with His presence in the Eucharist, while it may seem inanely simple to anyone else who knows about this stuff, was a cool moment for me (And of course I always feel the need to share such things… Why, oh why can’t I listen when I talk to myself?)

Anyway, in spite of the stupidity of my big share during the Bible study, it was fun, and I’m looking forward to the rest of it. The passages in the Bible that describe the Last Supper and the words Jesus said are really beautiful (i.e. Mark 14:22-25, Luke 22:14-20), and I love learning about the sacrament of the Eucharist as a reenactment of the Last Supper. There is so much to learn. I’m learning so much.

Baptisms

Posted on September 9, 2013September 9, 2013 by Amy

Until a few days ago, I had never attended a baptism, Catholic or otherwise.

On Saturday, all three of my sweet girls were baptized.

I was pretty nervous beforehand.

Of course, I knew it wasn’t about me at all, but I still worried I might say or do the wrong thing. I tend to feel nervous when I’m in church that I’m going to do something stupid that completely breaks the rules and has everyone staring at me, slack-jawed with shock at my unintentional inappropriate behavior.

But it was just perfect.

It was beautiful.

When we went to our class about baptism on Thursday night, they told us that toddlers and older children could either stand or sit in the font, or kneel next to it and lean their head over the edge. The deacon said that at Sis’s age we could choose to have her in the font like her sisters or we could try to hold her and do hers like an infant baptism. I was uncertain which way to go.

I was afraid if I tried to let her stand in the font that she would sit down and her diaper would disintegrate and all that weird gel stuff inside a disposable diaper would come out into the Holy Water (this concern was complete with full-colored mental imagery of the above-mentioned open-mouthed horror from the church peeps). Yes, I know I probably would have had time after Mass to change her into a swim diaper, but I was going for simple and not rushed.

So, I planned to hold her and have her baptized like a smaller baby. We even did a practice at home in the sink to see if she would let me hold her that way and have water poured over her head. She didn’t mind it at all at home.

She was a little less enthusiastic about it at the church with the deacon standing over her.

But she did just fine.

I had taken the girls to the church on Friday morning to explain to them what would happen on Saturday. I talked with them about Holy Water and what it is (as best I understand it). I gave them little bottles to fill with Holy Water from the font, which we brought home and decorated afterward (I got the idea here). I let them choose how they wanted to do their baptism. They both got really excited when they heard they could stand in the water and decided they wanted to do it that way.

After that both of the older girls were so excited for their baptisms. My parents came to town Friday night and Miss ran right to her room to show them her little bottle of Holy Water saying, “Look Grandma! You’re going to love this!”

(Yes, that is a toilet-paper-roll Jesus. Gotta love DLTK)

They couldn’t wait to get their chance to stand in the font.

They were precious.

The whole experience with all three of them was just so special.

I think Lass’s favorite was the part with the candle. Since bringing it home, she has repeatedly asked to get hers out of the box and light it, or failing that to just carry it around.

Special Godparents:

I will never forget the looks on the faces of my girls as the water was poured on their heads. Their shy smiles and looks of wonder throughout the ceremony were priceless.

It was an amazing day.

So Um, This is the Bible…

Posted on August 7, 2013 by Amy

I have started trying to incorporate some religion into our homeschool lessons.

I have to laugh a bit at myself as I think about it, because it’s been a little awkward so far.

I end up saying things like, “So while we’re talking about the letter Z, let’s learn about St. Zita! Okay, soooo she was a saint. And um, a saint is someone who’s, well uh, really holy, and, um dead. And so, you can ask a saint to pray for you. So yeah, St. Zita!” And then I read something to them from a book or our new curriculum supplement from Catholic Icing that allows me to actually sound as though I know what I’m talking about for a minute. But I pretty much don’t.

I am totally learning all of this stuff with my kids as I teach them. But I’m cool with that. I kind of like learning through teaching. I’ve been doing it all along anyway. I learned a ton of stuff about groundhogs when we did letter G, and about horses when we did letter H.

Our new curriculum helps me to add some religious teaching to what we’ve already been doing, keeping with the letter we’re working on and adding some other things.

We just did our first Catholic craft. Presenting, St Zita:

I am so proud (the idea for this also came from Catholic Icing, I just used some different materials).

I’ve been having a lot of fun with this new aspect of our school. Even when I know I’m stuttering and fumbling awkwardly to describe something that I don’t fully understand myself, I’m enjoying the process. And the girls don’t seem to notice my stumbles, or care. I’ve even discussed with them how I’m learning lots of these things right along with them. Miss was very understanding. She said, “That’s okay Mama. I’m just a kid and I really have a lot to learn, so you know more than me.” At least she thinks so.

The Bible is another topic I’m kind of faltering through with them. Each lesson from the curriculum has a Bible verse that goes with the letter we’re doing. So today I even took my Bible (which I just bought a week ago) into our school room and read and “discussed” a verse with them.

It went something like this:

Me: “So this is the Bible. It’s the book that, uh, tells us lots of important stuff that God wants us to know.”

Them: Blinking.

Me: “And so the Bible is full of um, well look at all these words in here (fanning pages). This is a really big book!”

Them: Leaning in to look at pages. They seemed interested!

Me: “And this, um, tells us how God wants us to act and lots of other things. And there are different books in here, see this is the book of Wisdom… Huh. There’s a book of Wisdom? I didn’t know that. Okay so then here’s Proverbs, and here’s Psalms. Yeah. And the verse we’re reading today is from Psalms… Let’s see Psalm 97:8, ‘Zion,’ oh, what letter does that start with?”

Them: “Z!”

Me: “Yes! Okay, ‘Zion hears and is glad, and the daughters of Judah rejoice because of your judgements, O Lord.'” (In my head, “crap, what does that mean?”)

Them: Blinking. Smiling. Waiting.

Me: “Right, so um, that means that, uh, the people in Zion were happy. Uh huh. Because of what God said.”

They were content with that. Thankfully, though they actually did seem to be listening (which usually means 1000 inquiries), they didn’t ask me any questions about my oh-so-vague first Bible lesson. Thanks God.

What was learned:

For them: 1. Zita starts with Z; 2. That Bible is a big book!

For me: 1. I have a lot to learn; 2. Read Bible verse and figure out what the heck it means ahead of time.

So there you have it. The baby-steps implementation of religion into our homeschool.

I’ve also been talking with the girls to try to help them understand the idea of Baptism, since theirs is coming up (one month from today!). I was botching that one too, so I got a few books to help me out and I have a few craft ideas as well. My husband and I have a class to attend tomorrow night about their Baptism, so hopefully I’ll be better equipped to discuss it with them after that.

So much to learn…

Jumping Rainbows – More Thoughts and News on Catholic Stuff

Posted on July 19, 2013July 19, 2013 by Amy

I have been on a bit of an interesting journey the past few months.

An intense curiosity has awakened in me. I am reading and researching all things religion. I’m wondering why? and how? and who says? and what??

I’m finding answers that surprise me. I’ve learned a lot about Catholicism in particular. I’ve realized that many of my beliefs regarding what Catholicism is about were wrong.

Shocking, right? I wonder when the fact that I don’t know everything is going to stop surprising me.

Just kidding.

It all started when I had a brief crisis and thought that I was never going to go into the Catholic Church again.

At the time I realized that I actually liked going to our Catholic Church, and I learned more about it, and my little crisis was resolved, and it was all cool and everything.

Then I was criticized by another blogger for the reasons that I like going to our Catholic Church, which made me think about those reasons, and question myself and everything all over again, and come to like Catholicism even more.

And it just went on from there.

I’m reading, and web searching, and praying, and everything has gotten crazy in my spiritual self. Crazy in a good way.

So. Some news:

My husband and I met with the priest at the Catholic church we attend in order to formally become members of the parish this week. Big step.

I have scheduled the baptism of all three of my girls for early September. Even bigger step.

Never in my life would I have imagined that I would attend a Catholic church.

A year ago I would have scoffed at the idea.

And I surely would have laughed out loud if you had told me I would be signing up for the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA).

(That’s the class that adults take to convert to Catholicism.)

Me, Catholic?

No. Way.

At least, that would have been my response a year ago.

A year ago, the idea of attending a Catholic church and baptizing my children Catholic would have seemed extremely unlikely.

The thought that I would convert to Catholicism myself would have seemed impossible.

About as likely as being able to jump over a rainbow.

Impossible.

And yet, here I am.

Jumping.

At the beginning of September I will be starting a process of attending class every Monday night until Easter in order to become Catholic.

Huge. Leap.

I am so thankful my parents taught me to love finding out about what I don’t know. To have an open mind and willing heart. And for some special people who have made me think and helped me learn (thanks Hubby and Super Friend and Baba).

I’m excited and a little nervous.

Clarification on My Thoughts About the Catholic Church

Posted on June 6, 2013March 23, 2014 by Amy

I had a strange experience the other day related to the post I wrote a few weeks ago called 9 Things I Like About the Catholic Church.

A woman wrote a blog post about my blog post. And she totally ridiculed me for it.

She didn’t ridicule me for going to church or for going to the Catholic Church. She slammed me for my apparently unsatisfactory reasons for going to the Catholic Church and my (obvious) lack of knowledge about the Bible.

Now, I’ll admit, I was very hurt when I first read what this woman wrote about me. I’m the first to acknowledge that I’m utterly ignorant of all this religion stuff, but I am trying really hard to learn about it and find my way to a fulfilling relationship with God. I’m getting there, and have been feeling really good about it. So to read something like that other post, basically saying that I’m not doing it right or well enough, well it felt like a kick in the gut. I’m mean, I’ve only been doing this for three months. Perhaps it might be okay for other, more experienced Christian folks to cut me a little bit of slack. Sure, correct me if I say something totally incorrect, roll your eyes at my sometimes flippant and irreverent way of talking about this stuff (I’m making fun of myself, not religion, when I do this, in case you couldn’t tell), even challenge my beliefs if I’m off the mark, but please don’t judge and criticize and sarcastically say things about me like, “Um. WHAT? Seriously? Has she even read the Bible?” That really isn’t helpful.

And just in case you couldn’t guess, no I have not read the Bible.

Anyway, this post is not meant to be about the other blog author or what she wrote. I don’t know the woman personally, and I don’t think she intended to be hurtful to me. I don’t think she actually even intended for me to read her post. I would have never known about it if I hadn’t happened to see that a bit of traffic was referred to my blog from her blog through some links she included in her post and clicked over out of curiosity. But either way, she was writing about what she feels passionately about, and I can respect that. I know that writing about religion opens me up to lots of criticism, and I left a comment directly for her to respectfully let her know some of my thoughts on what she said about me.

That said, I realized after reading her post that perhaps my original writing was not entirely clear (likely because of aforementioned flippancy and irreverence). So, I want to clarify my thoughts on the topic. Not because of what another blogger wrote about me, but because on reflection I think I really might have given the wrong impression on a few points. Even with this second attempt, I suspect my words will be somewhat clumsy because I am very unaccustomed to thinking about things like these, let alone writing about them in a coherent manner. But practice makes perfect, so here goes…

First of all, the 9 things I listed in the previous post are not the reasons I go to church. They aren’t really even the reasons I go to Catholic church. They are some things I have been surprised to find that I prefer about the Catholic Church over other types of services I have attended in the (very distant) past.

Someone might find the things I listed to be silly or frivolous reasons for choosing or preferring a particular type of Christian church. Maybe they are, though I don’t really think so. They’re just my personal preferences.

Probably I didn’t explain myself very eloquently. The way I feel and think about a religious issue will start to make sense to me in my head, but when I type it out, in my goofy style of writing, it doesn’t always sound quite right. I own that. So. I am going to try again on a few points where I think I may have given the wrong impression before. I’m including the original 9 things in italics for your reference.

1. I like that the priest isn’t overly preachy. There are a few nice readings during the service. The priest comments on them and on some other things. Done! It doesn’t feel like being lectured. I don’t like being lectured.

What I meant was to say that I like that the Catholic Homily is not a drawn out sermon all about a pastor’s interpretation of the Bible. It’s a to-the-point commentary to facilitate greater understanding of the Scripture (what I referred to simply as readings in the original post) that is read during the service. I find this type of presentation to ring more true.

2. Similarly, there is no hellfire and damnation talk. I don’t like hellfire and damnation talk. I refuse to sit and listen to someone tell me how sinful I am and how the world is going to Hell, particularly if he is yelling and/or red-faced and/or banging on a pulpit while doing it. No thank you. The Catholic priest talks about sin and repentance sometimes, but not in a scary, crazy, accusing way.

When I say, “I refuse to listen to someone tell me how sinful I am” that doesn’t mean that I think I’m not sinful. But here’s the thing about that: I have lived in this body and this mind for 37 years. I am well aware that I am a sinner. I choose not to attend a church service where the pastor feels the need to yell at me about it. To me, that type of preaching is not necessary or helpful and feels more like a performance than worship. The Catholic priest gets this point across well without the theatrics.

3. Along those lines, the Catholic service is nice and peaceful. I don’t much like church services where people are yelling out “Hallelujah!” and “Amen!” and such. Makes me uncomfortable.

I truly don’t think there is anything wrong with people choosing to attend or participate in a service like this, it’s just not for me.

4. Even so, the Catholic service has a joyful feel to it. No yelling required.

5. I really love the sound of a church full of people murmuring reverently in unison. This happens a lot throughout the Catholic Service, and I just like it.

Enough said.

6. I have never once heard mention of certain groups of people or of those who believe or act differently or not according to the Catholic teachings being bad or sinful or damned or anything else.

I do not believe any church or other organization should preach hate or intolerance and that is what I was getting at with this statement. Of course there are things that the Catholic Church is very firm about and I imagine they might say people can go to Hell for doing all sorts of stuff, I don’t know. I haven’t gotten to learning about that part yet. But I will not attend and expose my children to a church where the services are peppered with hateful statements about people who are different, whether that refers to people of other religious groups, gay people, people with piercings or tattoos (hello?), or whatever.

When we go to church, our kids sit through the service with us. The Catholic Service is family friendly. I don’t worry that my kids are going to hear hate-filled statements issuing forth from the priest’s mouth. I don’t worry that they will be frightened by the service.

I do not mean to suggest in any way that I think all, or even most, other types of Christian church services are hateful or frightening. But unfortunately I have seen (as most of us have I think) a good bit of hurtful, judgmental, and/or bigoted behavior that is defended in the name of Christianity. I have experienced some of it personally as well. So to have found a place where I feel good about what is being taught, where I feel spiritual growth in a supportive environment, and where my husband has roots… That is a pretty big deal to me.

7. I enjoy the music during the service. It’s beautiful, but doesn’t leave me feeling as though I’m at a rock concert. It feels right for the service.

8. The people there are very kind. The priests and deacons are welcoming and speak to you as you come into and go out of the service. They shake hands and smile. The people in the church are nice too. This is not like many of my previous church experiences.

9. The Catholic service is beautiful. It just is. If you let yourself sit and listen and watch and sort of participate, the ritual and symbolism are just lovely. I say “sort of participate” because of course I don’t receive communion, and I haven’t gotten the hang of doing the sign of the cross and other stuff (stuff that I don’t even know the name of), and really I’m not there at this point anyway. But I like it. It moves me somehow.

These things probably apply to lots of churches, though I do like the Catholic way of doing things in particular. These aren’t in themselves reasons to choose a church, but yes they are part of what I like about the Catholic Church we attend.

I said in my original 9 Things post, and I’ll say it again here, I am sure there are many, many other wonderful churches out there. My writing about the things I like about Catholicism and the Catholic service is not meant to show disrespect to any other person, church, religion, etc. Unfortunately I have had some bad experiences with Christian people and churches that have left me guarded against the same types of judgmental attitudes I have seen. So I’m glad I have found a church where I feel comfortable.

I had no intention in the first post nor in this one of trying to say my church is better than any other, outside of saying it is better for me.

9 Things I Like About the Catholic Church

Posted on May 19, 2013March 18, 2014 by Amy

If you read this post of a few months ago (or this one) about faith and religion, you know that I have recently started going to church for the first time in, oh 30 years or so. Catholic Church, to be precise.

I agreed to go to Catholic Church by default really, since my husband is Catholic and I am, well nothing religiously, I suppose. Rather, I don’t have an affiliation with one particular denomination of church. He does. So it made the most sense to go where he is comfortable.

Growing up one of my closest friends was Catholic. Whenever I spent a Saturday night at her house we went to church on Sunday. I kind of got a kick out of it. Stand up, sit down. Now kneel, touch your forehead, chin, chest, shake hands, “Peace be with you,” and so forth. I thought it was fun, but weird.

Never in my life did I picture myself becoming a regular attendee of a Catholic Church. I didn’t really have anything major against the Catholic Church, other than I thought it was odd and kind of overdone. I just didn’t want to go there.

Nevertheless, these days we are going to a Catholic Church. Really. As in, regularly. It’s foreign and nice at the same time.

The crazy thing? I actually like it.

Strange, but true. And here’s something else –

About a week ago, I had a bit of a faith crisis. Yes, another one. Already.

I read something about the Catholic doctrine that had me saying, “Oh Hell no. I am not going there anymore. I am not going to baptize my children in that church, no friggin’ way. If we are going to continue going to church, we’re going to have to find someplace else. Someplace Not Catholic!”

Then I calmly and maturely asked my husband about my concerns. As it turns out, I was mistaken. No need to freak out. Crisis resolved.

Interestingly, during the 24-or-so hours that I was in a misplaced rage against Catholicism, I felt really, really disappointed and sad. I have become fond of the Catholic Church. I find the service to be very peaceful and calming. When I sit in the church on Sundays, it’s a nice time to reflect. I’m learning things, and feeling some stirring of spirituality that I didn’t think was in me anymore.

And when I imagined attending a different type of service, I was quite unhappy. I wanted to continue going to the Catholic Church. This was very surprising to me, so I’ve thought a lot about it in the past few days trying to understand it.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize about the Catholic Church and why I actually prefer it to other services:

1. I like that the priest isn’t overly preachy. There are a few nice readings during the service. The priest comments on them and on some other things. Done! It doesn’t feel like being lectured. I don’t like being lectured.

3. Along those lines, the Catholic service is nice and peaceful. I don’t much like church services where people are yelling out “Hallelujah!” and “Amen!” and such. Makes me uncomfortable.

4. Even so, the Catholic service has a joyful feel to it. No yelling required.

5. I really love the sound of a church full of people murmuring reverently in unison. This happens a lot throughout the Catholic Service, and I just like it.

6. I have never once heard mention of certain groups of people or of those who believe or act differently or not according to the Catholic teachings being bad or sinful or damned or anything else.

7. I enjoy the music during the service. It’s beautiful, but doesn’t leave me feeling as though I’m at a rock concert. It feels right for the service.

9. The Catholic service is beautiful. It just is. If you let yourself sit and listen and watch and sort of participate, the ritual and symbolism are just lovely. I say “sort of participate” because of course I don’t receive communion, and I haven’t gotten the hang of doing the sign of the cross and other stuff (stuff that I don’t even know the name of), and really I’m not there at this point anyway. But I like it. It moves me somehow.

So there it is. Surprisingly, I enjoy, dare I say prefer going to Catholic Church. It is a nice fit for me. It makes me feel good, and not at all uncomfortable (though I admit the first few times I was kind of uneasy).

Beyond enjoying the Catholic Mass, I have been educating myself on the doctrine of Catholicism. I’m reading a lot from this blog in particular, which just makes a lot of sense to me. I figure if I’m going to go to Catholic Church and take my children there, I ought to learn more about it. I have been surprised by what I have found. Though there are a lot of things about Catholicism that I don’t agree with, by educating myself about the reasons Catholics believe the things they do, I am beginning to at least understand it a little. It’s not as stuffy as I thought it was.

As with most things, when I open my mind and actually educate myself about something, I find myself pleasantly surprised and less judgmental. How about that?

I do want to add that I am well aware that there are lots of other great churches out there, and by describing my preferences I am not trying to belittle any other religion, faith or lack thereof, or type of church service. I’m just trying to find what is best for me, not to disparage what works for anyone else.

After my brief panic last week, I was especially grateful to attend and enjoy church today.

Easter. A Birthday. I. Am. Blessed.

Posted on March 31, 2013 by Amy

We had a fun-filled Easter.

We woke up to yarn trails leading to Easter baskets and an egg hunt.

We tried a new recipe for Easter breakfast. I had seen “Resurrection Rolls” mentioned on other blogs and probably on Pinterest too. I didn’t really consider making them until a good friend suggested it, mentioning that it is a fun way for kids to get a visual/hands on learning experience of the whole Jesus-in-the-tomb-and-then-not-in-the-tomb/Resurrection thing. Though we read several books about it, I’m still not very good at explaining this stuff to my kids (this is all very new, here), so I decided to give it a try (and make our traditional Easter breakfast of creamed eggs for lunch or dinner).

The girls had a lot of fun rolling the marshmallow “Jesuses” in the butter and cinnamon sugar and wrapping them up in the crescent roll “tombs.”

Seriously, they were delicious (recipe here).

The girls got a huge kick out of breaking open the rolls looking for Jesus and finding them empty. Lass kept saying, “But Jesus isn’t in here!” each time she took a bite.

Thanks for the tip, C.

We got all dressed up in our Easter finery and went to church. We even got there 30 minutes early so we could get a seat. It was packed.

When we got home I insisted on a few photos of the girls in their Easter dresses before everyone changed and had lunch.

How many photos does it take to get a good one when a four-year-old decides she will. not. smile.?

Not too many once we start telling her not to smile (but still several more than what you see here!).

Finally!

It was a little easier to get a decent one of just the girls, since we didn’t have to coax smiles and just had to try to get them all to be at least sort of facing in the direction of the camera. They were looking at me instead of at my husband with the camera, but I still love this photo.

After lunch and naps (I even had a wonderful, long nap myself), we watched some basketball (yay Michigan wins, boo Duke loses; I know, I went to U of L!) and I made creamed eggs.

Creamed eggs is the traditional Christmas and Easter morning breakfast from my childhood. I enjoyed having the Resurrection Rolls for breakfast this morning, but could not have Easter without creamed eggs, so we had them for dinner.

I’m even going to share our secret family recipe with you (now that I’m finally able to make it myself without calling my Mom to ask how).

Creamed eggs:

You need butter, flour, milk, hard boiled eggs, and salt and pepper (and bread for toast).

Melt a stick of butter over low – medium low heat. Add about 1/2 cup of flour (give or take), stirring it in gradually until you have a nice, paste-like roux. Then add milk a little at a time, stirring it until all lumps are gone with each pour, until you have a good creamy consistency for your base. Cut about 6 hard-boiled eggs into small chunks and add to base. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve over toast.

It doesn’t look that awesome, but it is so, so yummy. And it’s a good way to use up Easter eggs.

Miss and Lass weren’t all that into it tonight (though they loved it on Christmas), but I think that’s because they filled up on Easter candy at snack time. Sis went to town eating it up.

And finally, to top off a wonderful Easter, we had another birthday party.

Yep, I turned 37 today.

It was a really wonderful birthday with my favorite people. My little family of 5.

My big girls helped me to blow out my candles, open my cards, and open my birthday gift.

At bedtime, when I was chatting with my older girls I told them “thank you” for helping me to have a wonderful, happy birthday. Miss said, “Are you happy because you got a present?” I said, “I love my present. But the very best part of today was being with you girls and your Daddy. You are the best present I could ever have.” She smiled her big four-year-old smile at me and said, “Yeah, we are.”

Ready for Easter

Posted on March 30, 2013 by Amy

We have been talking about Easter all week in school.

We’ve read books about the Easter Bunny. About Easter Eggs. About where both of these traditions originated. And about Jesus and the Resurrection, of course.

It has been a good week. We’ve all learned a lot. I found lots of fun activities to do addition and counting using plastic Easter eggs and small candies (like M&Ms and Jelly Bellies), and I added in a bit of number and shape recognition to some of them.

We used up some left-over-from-St.-Patrick’s-Day poster board to make Easter bunnies.

I often get out textural elements for the girls to add to their crafts, like cotton balls to make the bunnies fluffy (or puffy paint made with shaving cream and glue). Miss often rejects these outright. She knows what she wants, and in this case the cotton balls were not part of her vision. Lass thought it was fun to add the cotton balls. Until it wasn’t. I love their different approaches to things.

Today we dyed eggs.

We talk about measuring and color mixing and all sorts of fun stuff when we do this one.

* Note: Last year I thought it was a great idea to use whisks to dunk the eggs in the dye. I even bought a second whisk this year since one of the ones I used last year didn’t work for this purpose very well. At the last minute I decided the whisks were sort of a pain (getting the eggs in and out of them was kind of messy, it was a little bit hard to get the eggs far enough into the dye, we could only do one egg at a time for each girl, etc.) and that the girls were old enough to do just fine getting the eggs out with spoons. I was right, and am glad I skipped the whisks this year.

I used more food coloring in the dye this year. We used brown eggs that I buy from a friend who has her own chickens, so I wanted to dye to be extra vibrant. I love how they turned out.

We got a bit messy. Some fingers got dyed. Especially Lass’s, since she kept sticking her fingers into the cups to get her eggs out.

She was so eager to get her eggs in and out of the cups. She dyed four eggs green (her favorite color) before Miss pulled one of hers out of the dye, I think.

They had a lot of fun. Miss said, “I think the Easter Bunny with love these eggs.”

Speaking of the Easter Bunny, he has been here tonight. He tied yarn to the older girls’ door knobs, which will lead them to their baskets in the morning.

We have their baskets and eggs hidden in separate rooms so they will each have a chance to find the same number of eggs. Miss is a little bit more focused in her searching and finding, so we didn’t want Lass to miss out on eggs (and their contents) if Miss found most of them. Daddy hid Miss’s in the office.

We are ready for tomorrow.

I was all flustered for a few days earlier this week trying to figure out the logistics of doing Easter Bunny stuff with the girls and making it to church on time at 9. I considered doing the Easter Bunny stuff all on Saturday, hiding the eggs/baskets during nap time, or somehow running in to get it done while my husband stayed out in the car with them after church. Ultimately, I decided to take advantage of the fact that the church holds Mass at several different times during the day. We’re going at 11, so we’ll have plenty of time to get everything done and be ready to go on time tomorrow. Easy.

Happy Easter!

Food, Lies, and Church

Posted on March 16, 2013March 16, 2013 by Amy

I have some rules about food and meals and eating in our house. Though I try not to go overboard with crazy rules, I think these are important as they serve to try to ensure my kids eat in a healthful way, to minimize battles over food and eating, and to make mealtime a non-negotiable period of time set aside for family.

Here are the food rules at our house:

We have set meal and snack times. My kids do not eat or drink (except water) all throughout the day. Except for special occasion “picnics” on a blanket in the family room while watching a movie and the occasional snack eaten on the road somewhere, they eat at the table. When they get down from the table, they’re done eating until the next meal or snack.

I do not make special food for my kids separate from what I make for my husband and myself. We all eat the same meal. I often include options like cottage cheese or applesauce for my kids to go along with the meal, but I never make them something else.

No one ever has to clean her plate. My kids eat what they want of what is served. When they say they’re done, they ask to be excused and get down from the table.

Along these lines, I don’t ever require my kids to eat anything at meal time if they say they aren’t hungry. BUT, everyone has to at least come to the table and sit with the family (just for meals, not snacks). This preserves the family meal time and also prevents hungry meltdowns after meals if they really are hungry but just say they aren’t because of being absorbed in playing. And I find that, even if they complain about coming to the table saying, “I’m not hungry!!!” they almost always eat once they’re there.

However, if there is some sort of “treat” being served with or after a meal, they must eat a certain amount of their meal in order to be allowed to have dessert. For example, sometimes we have sweet potato chips or nuts (cashews, pecans, etc.) or fruit along with a meal. These things aren’t considered “dessert,” but I also try not to let my kids just fill up on these alone, so if we have these items at the table, they are required to eat a few bites of their meal, then have a bit of one of these side items, then a few more bites of meal, then some more side, etc.

These rules really work well for our family. We rarely have battles at meal times over how much or what they’re going to eat. We all gather together for dinner, which is important to me. My kids learn to listen to the signals from their bodies to control how much they eat. The girls know the rules, so if they try to do something different, we just recite the applicable rule and they generally comply. It’s part of our family routine.

Yesterday, some of these rules got tested a bit. We had meat and cheese for lunch (lunch meat and sliced cheese without bread is common here). Miss was complaining that she didn’t like this food (though she eats it happily often enough). She stated that she only wanted cheese to eat, which was fine. While the girls were eating, I finished putting groceries away. Miss saw some pecans and asked to have some. I told her she could have some, but she needed to eat her cheese and some meat first. She complained and complained. She said her cheese was “sour,” though again she had eaten some of the same cheese happily the day before. I told her, as I always do, that she didn’t have to eat her cheese if she didn’t want to, but she would not be allowed to have pecans if she didn’t. It was her choice. So she kept eating, and kept complaining. After a bit she said, “Okay, I ate it all.” I started to get the pecans for her, but noticed that she had not in fact eaten all of her cheese. She had eaten most of it, and then hidden what was left under some meat on her plate.

Oh man. Busted.

I told her that hiding her cheese under her meat and saying she was done was a lie. I told her she would not be getting pecans. I was pissed and I raised my voice, telling her that she is not to lie to me ever.

Then I stopped and reminded myself that lying is a pretty normal thing for a kid her age. That she is still in the process of trying to figure out what lying really means (she often will say to her sister while playing, “no, you’re lying,” when Lass isn’t lying but simply says something Miss doesn’t like). I reminded myself that she already felt bad after I confronted her on her lie and told her that she would not be allowed to have pecans. I dropped the issue for a bit and we proceeded to get ready for nap time. I put Sis down for her nap, read books with Miss and Lass, and put Lass down for her nap.

Then Miss and I came back downstairs to have our special time (15 minutes of time set aside every day for us to do whatever she wants while her sisters nap). Before we started, I pulled her up on my lap and told her I wanted to talk to her. I told her that when she intentionally says something that is not true that means she is telling a lie. I told her that sometimes telling a lie might get her what she wants, if she doesn’t get caught, but that it’s never worth it. I told her that lying hurts relationships and makes people not trust her. I told her I was sorry for yelling at her. I told her that I felt angry and hurt and disappointed when she lied to me. I told her that I will always, always love her no matter what, but that if she lies to me, I will not trust her. She listened to all of this very intently and nodded her head. Then she gave me a hug and we moved on to our special time. I think this was a good learning experience for both of us.

And speaking of learning experiences, tomorrow we are going to church as a family.

Gulp.

Is it weird that I’m super nervous about this?

I can’t really pinpoint why. I’ve been in church many times over the past several years, though all of those times have been for a wedding or funeral. Maybe it’s because the last time I went to a church just for the purpose of going to church, no one talked to me, not even a “hello” or a smile, which made it feel very weird and unwelcoming. Maybe it’s because going to church will lead my kids to ask questions that I’m not sure I’ll know how to answer. Maybe it’s because going to church will push me further to work on answering my own questions.

It’s probably a little bit of all of these things. I’ve never been one to shy away from pushing myself though. And I’ve made the decision, with a little help from my husband and some other thoughtful people, that I want my girls to be exposed to the experience of religion and worship and faith and all that. I have some to the realization that I’m grateful for having had that experience to some degree myself as a kid. Because even though I moved away from it for many years, when I needed to draw on that history, I was able to do so. I was able to say a prayer and find some comfort in that. I want my girls to have that foundation, whether they maintain faith and/or religion throughout their lives or not.

And if I had had any doubts left, the other day Miss heard me singing “Amazing Grace” and asked me about the “house” where we had heard that song before. I didn’t know what she was talking about and kept asking her “what house?” while trying to figure out what she meant. She said something about the “big house” where she and her sister had been coloring while people were singing. Then I realized she meant church. She was talking about my husband’s grandmother’s funeral. I think she just confused “Amazing Grace” with either the “Hallelujah” song or “Ave Maria,” both of which were sung at that funeral (though I don’t think “Amazing Grace” was).

Anyway, after I realized what she meant and we clarified that she was talking about church, she said, “Can we go there again someday, Mama?”

Yes. Yes we can.

Taking that leap of faith tomorrow.

Motherhood and Miscellany

Category: Religion