Revisiting Allowance (Otherwise Known as Revising a Bad Parenting Decision)

Posted on May 28, 2014May 29, 2014 by Amy

You may remember that I posted almost a year ago about my kids (mostly Miss) constantly asking to save their allowance for things. At the time, I thought that they were mostly only asking to save their allowances for items as their way of expressing to me that they were interested in those things. I was sure I was right about this when the tendency to ask to save allowance for something seem to mostly fade away a few months after I wrote that post.

But then it came back. With a vengeance. Both of my older girls began asking to save their allowances for everything. And they really seemed to want the things. Not just to be “expressing interest.”

I thought I was going to lose my mind.

And I began to worry again about whether I was teaching them the right things by giving them allowance and allowing them to spend it on toys. Yes, they were putting a dollar each week into our giving jar. Yes, Miss was also putting a dollar of hers into her piggy bank for long-term savings. But I had wanted them to learn the concept of having to save for things they want, and instead they were buying cheap toys on a whim and then never playing with them, so the point was getting totally lost.

I started to stress out about the allowance policy that we had instituted with very good intentions, but which seemed to have gone terribly awry. I knew I wanted to do something different, but I couldn’t decide what to change. Then a few things happened that prompted me to take action.

I read this post written by a woman who took pretty much all of her kids’ toys away. I was fascinated by the idea of drastically reducing clutter and excess in order to increase creativity and gratitude. I started thinking about how we might implement something like this in our house, but I was hesitant to pull the trigger.

Then we started getting ready for our trip to my parents’ house in April. Often when we visit my parents we take the girls to the Nature Center where they can see and learn about lots of different animals. Each time they had been there before I had allowed them to go to the gift shop and pick out one small souvenir toy to purchase.

This time, when talking to Miss about our upcoming trip to visit Grandma and Grandpa and the possibility that we would go to the Nature Center again, she got super excited and begged me to call Grandma to make sure we could go there. I thought it was pretty great that she was so excited about it.

Then she revealed the reason for her excitement. She wanted to get a toy. She really wasn’t interested in looking at the animals. She just wanted to go to the gift shop and get a new toy.

She was totally skipping over the fun of the experience in her mind and going straight to “what am I going to get?” I was kind of horrified and so upset with myself for allowing the situation to get to this point.

When I instituted the allowance thing I thought I was teaching them the need to save for things they want. I had successfully eliminated any tendency my kids may have had to ask me to buy toys for them. But by giving them allowance and allowing them to spend it as I had, they had become even more focused on material possessions than they would have without the allowance.

I immediately placed a moratorium on spending the allowance and asking to save it for things. I explained to my girls that we can’t always have the things we want, and that they have more than enough toys already. I talked with them about the importance of being grateful for what we have instead of always wanting more. I told them that we could go to the Nature Center when we visited Grandma and Grandpa, but that we would not be buying a toy in the gift shop this time. They were a bit upset at first, but then they had a great time and didn’t push the issue.

They looked at the toys in the gift shop, but did not make a fuss about not being able to get one.

However, after getting home from our trip, we did have some push back for a week or two about not being able to spend their allowance anymore. I got through this partly by just not giving them their allowance for a few weeks while they got out of the habit of focusing on buying and asking for things. During this time I tried to figure out how to implement allowance in the future, and I started packing up boxes of toys to put in storage.

We packed up a lot of toys from our playroom. I decided not to take all the girls toys away, but rather to pack up many of them and put them in the basement, to be in a rotating system with the toys we kept out. I organized toys in big plastic bins by type.

We kept out a little bit of dress up, the small plastic dolls (mostly princesses, but many others as well), the magnetic building tiles, and the play food and dishes (and books, of course). The girls also have about three other bins or boxes they are allowed to have upstairs at any one time. Right now they have the stuffed animals, the plastic animals, and the baby dolls. If they want something from downstairs they have to make a trade of one full box for another.

This system has worked out so well for us. Clean up is easier and they seem to really enjoy and play with their toys more.

As for the allowance issue, after much internal debate and discussion with my husband and Super Friend, I decided to begin giving the girls their allowance again. They still put money in our giving jar. Miss still puts some of her allowance in her piggy bank (which we never take money out of). And they understand that they are not allowed to buy toys with their allowance right now.

I intend to have them simply continue to save their money. If there is a situation in the future where I think it is appropriate to allow them to spend their money on something, I’m reserving the right to do so, but for now, no buying.

It’s amazing to me how seemingly innocuous decisions of parenting can sometimes lead to completely unintended consequences. I thought I was teaching my children financial responsibility, and it seems all I was really doing was fostering greed and materialism. My kids were just being kids, but I had unintentionally allowed a habit to develop that was not good for them.

As a mom I find this somewhat terrifying, seeing how something so well-intentioned could go so wrong. . . Fortunately, it’s usually fairly easy to change course when something isn’t working as long as I explain to my kids what we are doing and why (I like this post about How Parenting is Like Following a GPS). Who knows? I may need to change this system again in the future.

I’m sure I’ll need to change directions many, many times as a mom in trying to guide my children down the best path possible.

A Mother’s Day Stay-cation Extravaganza

Posted on May 13, 2014 by Amy

I had a nice Mother’s Day. It’s lovely to go to Mass and see my children present flowers to Mary, to listen to the men’s choir sing some special songs honoring mothers, and then receive a special mother’s blessing from our priest. It’s nice to get lovely cards from my husband and kids, to (try to) take a nap, and have my husband happily cook dinner (even though he was grilling in a torrential downpour).

I don’t need fancy presents or a big to-do for Mother’s Day, but these little things are special each year.

This year, however, I felt like I got a super-bonus week-long Mother’s Day extravaganza. My husband was on vacation last week and we decided not to travel, but to have a stay-cation instead. He was home all week and it was wonderful.

In addition to the fun of spending tons of quality time with my man, he was very invested in making the week a little vay-cay for me too. I got to run errands whenever I wanted. I went to the library, to my favorite Catholic store, to Target. I was fairly skipping around town, reveling in the ease of running multiple errands in one day. In-and-out, and in-and-out, and in-and-out of the car like it was nothing.

I had a fabulous mid-week playdate with Super Friend while our husbands went fishing together. I had lunch with The Godmother.

We hung out outside as a family, planted our garden, and played and played. Hubby and I had beers by our fire pit one night.

I could have even slept in every day if I had wanted to, though my 5:30 am waking time is just too much of a habit to break now. Quiet coffee and Bible-reading and writing time was too alluring for me to stay in bed. But I could have if I had wanted to.

And one day? Oh my goodness, one day: I got up at 5:30, drank my warm coffee in the quiet, read my Bible, said my prayers, spent some time on my computer. Then the girls and my husband got up, and he noticed that I looked tired. I hadn’t slept well because of a little cold.

He said, “Why don’t you go back to bed for a bit?”

I thought What?!?!? Really?!?!? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

I said, “Are you sure?”

He was. I did. For two hours. It was awesome. I got to have my early morning quiet and to sleep in. True luxury.

It was a delightful week. I think I’m in love with the stay-cation. I hope you all had a lovely Mother’s Day too.

A Day in the Life – My Monday

Posted on April 15, 2014April 15, 2014 by Amy

Seems like the “Day in the life” posts are all the rage these days. I’ve read lots of them (like Grace’s, Kendra’s, and Blythe’s), and I think they are strangely interesting. I thought there was a link up of “day in the life” posts somewhere that I was going to throw my hat into (does that even make sense?), but now I can’t find it, so whatever. I’m going solo. Here’s my day (Monday):

4:57 am – I hear a door closing. Wake enough to check the video monitor and confirm that all of my children are in their beds. Lass is sitting up playing (hence the door). Congratulate myself for still having a video monitor on my girls (even though two of them are probably too old for it), which allowed me to not get out of bed to investigate door sound.

5:03 am – Curse myself for having video monitors. Lass is playing too loudly for me to go back to sleep. Turn volume down.

5:30 am – My alarm goes off. I say my morning offering and get out of bed.

5:32 am – Come downstairs. Look outside to see a completely flooded front yard. With snow. Water and snow. Consider checking the basement to make sure it’s not wet. Decide I don’t want to know quite yet.

5:33 am – Sit in my comfy chair to say my prayers. I can hear Lass playing the whole time and am hoping she’ll stay in her room for a while.

5:55 am – Make coffee. Experiment with different flashes (pop-up flash, external flash at a few different angles) for this photo. Decide I like the dark, blurry, no flash pic the best. It fits the mood of the moment.

6:05 am – Can’t find my phone. Go up to my bedroom to look for it. Find phone along with my husband, who is awake and reading a book that he cannot seem to put down.

6:06 am – As I’m almost back down the stairs I hear Lass open her bedroom door. I hurry down the last step to get around the corner into the office and not be seen. She goes back in her room.

6:11 am – Start reading Bible (Luke 21) by Kindle-light

6:15 am – Lass comes downstairs and climbs in my lap for snuggles.

6:19 am – Lass goes into playroom and I resume my reading, this time with the regular light on.

6:25 am – Hear Sis wake up. She doesn’t sound unhappy. I keep reading.

6:30 am – My husband comes downstairs and continues reading his addictive book.

^^ Notice the raised eyebrow. He is wondering why I’m taking his picture.

6:34 am – My computer is freezing up. I try to close and reopen my browser. It doesn’t work. I try other stuff.

6:45 am – My computer is still not working right. I’m starting to freak, because my time is running out. I go make another cup of coffee.

6:51 am – Plan to restart computer because nothing else has worked. Then I don’t have to, because it suddenly starts working well again. Yay! Check email and Facebook.

7:00 am – Miss comes downstairs.

She goes straight to looking out the front window at our snowy lake.

7:08 am – I’m trying to read one last thing (Today’s post from Carrots for Michaelmas) before starting into the business of the day. Miss is pouting and complaining because I’ve told her we cannot go outside and play in our “puddle.” (update on Tuesday- I started this post on Monday and am finishing it on Tuesday, so the Carrots post is actually from yesterday)

7:15 am – Miss is still pouting about not being able to go out in the water. She says, “Fine. Then I’m not going to give you any hugs and loves and kisses this morning.” I finish the blog post I was reading (finally) and go upstairs to get Sis (who is still happily hanging out in her crib). She says, “I poop. I pook.” Happily, she had done neither.

7:21 am – Come downstairs with Sis to see that my husband has cut his hair and trimmed his beard. And Miss has stopped pouting.

^^ This time he asks me why I’m taking his picture. I give him a vague non-answer.

7:23 am – My husband leaves for work.

7:28 am – I finally muster the courage to check the basement and find it dry.

7:31 am – I make breakfast. Oatmeal.

7:41 am – I call the girls to wash their hands for breakfast. Lass gets upset. She says, “I am not going to eat breakfast!” I remind her of our rule, which is that she doesn’t have to eat but she has to wash her hands and come to the table. Then she has a fit about washing her hands. I remember that she woke up before 5 am. The other girls start to eat.

7:47 am – Lass finally starts eating. She says, “Mom, I’ll try some before I say ‘yuck.’ Mom, I like this oatmeal.”

7:52 am – The girls are done eating. I realize that I have stepped in oatmeal twice and it’s stuck to my socks.

7:53 am – As I take my socks off and determine that I must find the spot of oatmeal on the floor, Lass comes around the counter with her bowl balancing on her hand trying to bring it to the sink. It crashes to the floor and breaks. She melts down when I ask her to help clean it up. I try to show her how to do it. She says she can’t.

7:59 am – We finally finish cleaning up the oatmeal, though I never do find the spot(s) I stepped in.

8:00 am – The girls are playing and I can hear that Lass is just out of sorts. She’s having a rough morning.

8:01 am – I go and try to give her some snuggles (which is usually just the trick for her). I’m flat out rejected. I get big snuggles from Sis instead.

8:04 am – Go back to kitchen. Sweep up the pieces of the broken bowl.

8:06 am – Clean up kitchen some more. Start to type a text to Super Friend. Get distracted by Miss asking me where the purple “My Little Pony” is. I tell her I don’t know.

8:09 am – Miss is screaming at Sis. I decide to let them work it out. They do.

8:11 am – Sis calls to me, “Mama, I poopy.” I don’t think she actually is (she says this anytime she wets her diaper too), but I decide to go ahead and round everyone up to go upstairs and get dressed. I change Sis and put her clothes on.

8:18 am – Miss is still not dressed. She says, “I am not going to get dressed until you help me find that purple pony!” I remind her how things actually work in our family. She gets dressed.

8:20 am – I unpack the girls’ suitcase from our trip to my parents’ while Miss and Lass make their beds. Miss gets upset when I tell her hers needs a bit more work.

8:34 am – Brush the big girls’ hair. Lass screams bloody murder, as usual.

8:37 am – Make my bed.

8:40 am – Go downstairs. Ask the girls if they want to start school now or in five minutes. They reply, “Six minutes!” They always say that.

8:42 am – Miss is still complaining that she cannot find the purple pony. She asks me to help her. I go into the playroom and point out to her that she has not yet looked in the most obvious place, where the pony would be if it was put away properly. I leave her to look there and go finish cleaning the kitchen. I clean three toilets (we have well water and our toilets get gross when the water sits in them when we’ve been gone for a week).

8:52 am – Announce that six minutes is up (yes, I know that it was actually 12 minutes).

8:54 am – Start circle time in the school room. Pray morning offering. Discuss Palm Sunday a day late. Read some Easter stories. Do calendar activities.

9:15 am – Get big girls set up coloring their Lenten countdown calendars while I go change Sis (who actually is poopy now).

9:20 am – Move on to a palm leaf coloring page. Cut out and staple their Letter Y books from two weeks ago while they color and practice writing.

9:29 am – Finish up school. Miss asks to do more. I love this, but I tell her we can’t today because we have to go to the grocery store and the doctor’s office. As I’m about to have them start getting on their shoes and coats, I realize that I haven’t even brushed my hair, so I run up to get myself ready to go.

9:39 am – Accidentally put blush on my forehead. Feel relief that I don’t wear a bright shade of blush. Wipe it off and cover it up as best I can.

9:45 am – Finish getting myself ready. Grab socks for the girls and myself and hurry downstairs.

9:47 am – Look outside and wonder if I should put snow boots or rain boots on the girls. Decide I don’t care and let them choose. They all choose rain boots.

9:50 am – I tell Lass she is putting her boots on the wrong feet and she spits at me Raspberries, but not funny, playful raspberries. I’m cool with funny playful raspberries. But I don’t do rude raspberries. I lose my temper and snap at her. She has a total meltdown. She wipes a huge dripping snot on her sleeve. I don’t have time to get her a different shirt. She says she isn’t going with us. She unzips her coat and then can’t get it zipped again. I feel like crap. I realize we have two big errands to run before she will get a nap. I take deep breaths. I zip her coat for her.

9:59 am – We are finally in the car and leaving for the grocery store.

10:12 am – I realize I don’t have time to drop the girls off in our grocery store’s childcare area, so they shop with me. They all get into being helpful. Sis develops a love for a can of beans, such that she gets mildly upset, “My beans! My beans!” when we have to put them on the belt to check out.

10:44 am – We are back in the car after the fastest grocery shopping trip ever. I know I forgot most of what I need, but I’ll be back to the store later this week anyway, so I don’t worry about it. We drive less than a block to our doctor’s office. We’re early. The doctor is not.

11:15 am – We get called back to our appointment, which was scheduled at 11. My girls are getting tired and hungry (and so am I), and it seems like our appointment takes forever.

12:00 pm – Miss gets two shots. Sis gets one. Guess who made more of a fuss about it?

12:18 pm – Finally in the car and on the way home.

12:32 pm – Home. I realize that in the craziness of getting melting-down Lass into the car, I left our door open. I say a quick prayer that there were no critters in our garage that have now found a home in our house.

12:45 pm – Put away groceries while the girls eat their lunch of leftover Culver’s and applesauce.

12:58 pm – Spill #2 of the day. Miss cleans it up.

1:06 pm – Lunch is done. Clean up lunch.

1:08 pm – Round up the girls and head upstairs for naps.

1:15 pm – Read nap stories.

1:28 pm – Sis is down for her nap. Start special time with Lass. She chooses to play with our apostle/Jesus/Mary toys.

1:41 pm – Lass is in her room for her nap. Start special time with Miss. She wants me to choose her activity. I suggest she complete the frame she started before we went to my parents’ last week.

1:55 pm – Miss is in her room for her quiet time. I change into clothes for exercising, turn on the heater in our garage, and go through our week of mail while waiting for it to heat up.

2:07 pm – Finally finish sending the text to Super Friend that I started in the morning. Clean up boxes in workout area.

2:10 pm – Go out to exercise. Do a quick warm up and set up for my workout.

Then get started:

33 back squats
15 burpees
33 deadlifts
15 burpees
33 kettlebell swings
15 burpees

Realize when I start back squats that I have way too much weight on the bar to complete 33 of them. Stop after seven to decrease the load. Proceed through the rest of the workout. Think I might die of burpees.

2:39 pm – Done with my workout. It took me almost 15 minutes. Make another coffee.

2:48 pm – Sit down for some computer time. Check email and Facebook. Look for something I need on the Elizabeth Ministry website (Super Friend and I are restarting the chapter at our parish). Don’t find what I need.

3:04 pm – Lass wakes up crying. She comes out of her room calling for me. When I get to the stairs she says her toes hurt. I suspect she slept on her foot funny or something. I kiss her toes and give snuggles. She goes back to bed, which I can’t believe. She never does that. Then I remember, she woke up before five am.

3:23 pm – Finish computer wanderings. Call Elizabeth Ministry but they are closed for the day.

3:27 pm – Pray the rosary.

3:45 pm – Get Miss from her rest time so she can practice piano.

3:58 pm – Finish piano practice with Miss. Get Lass and Sis up from naps. I have to wake both of them. One of them is not ready to get up.

4:09 pm – After lots of trying and failing to get Lass up, I go downstairs with Miss and Sis and get them started with a snack. I go back up to get Lass and try to give her a snack too. She’s not interested.

4:18 pm – My husband is home early! Hooray!!

4:22 pm – Get punched in the face by Sis. Give her a short time out. I suspect she enjoys it, but I do it anyway.

4:26 pm – Get in the shower.

4:52 pm – As I’m blowing my hair dry I realize I need to get going on dinner before I finish getting ready. I go downstairs and start getting stuff together for dinner.

4:58 pm – I laugh to see my husband blowing up Sis’s new birthday Rody with his mouth.

5:17 pm – Dinner is in the oven (roasted broccoli and this chicken recipe) and I’m back upstairs to finish getting ready.

5:34 pm – Downstairs. Dinner is ready. Have big girls set the table and wash hands. Eat dinner.

6:02 pm – Dinner is over. My super hubby starts doing the dishes.

6:05 pm – Say goodbye to the girls and leave for my last RCIA class.

6:25 pm – Get to RCIA. Visit with everyone for a few. Class starts, and we’re just having rehearsal tonight. Go through the whole Easter Vigil Mass. Feel a little bit confident I know what to do when I’m getting baptized, confirmed, and then receiving first communion. Feel relieved we will have another rehearsal on Saturday. I’m nervous and excited and kind of sad because RCIA is over and it has been fun.

7:46 pm – Home from RCIA. My husband has cleaned the kitchen and got the girls to clean up their toys. Sis has already been bathed and put to bed. Miss and Lass are finishing up their baths. I remember that my husband is wonderful.

8:21 pm – Done putting the big girls to bed (brushing teeth, reading stories, saying prayers, singing songs).

8:27 pm – Start uploading and editing the photos for this post.

8:44 pm – Putz around on the internet for a bit, checking email, etc.

9:06 pm – Start writing this post.

9:40 pm – Take a break to talk with my husband for a bit.

10:11 pm – Continue working on this post.

10:47 pm – Realize I am not going to get the post done tonight. Go to bed.

Whew! That was long. I have no idea if it was interesting to read, but it was fun to write.

Everything You Need to Know About Staying (Mostly) Sane When Your Kids Are Puking

Posted on March 4, 2014March 6, 2014 by Amy

Okay. I’m going to just come right out and tell you that I now consider myself to be an expert on dealing with puking children 5 and under. So far this winter, each of my girls has had a puking stomach virus of some kind twice. These episodes of puking haven’t been my first go ’round with the barf bucket and my kids, but they have certainly been the most intense, concentrated, kick in the butt ones.

Sooo, I’m going to use my misfortune for good, and share what I now know about how to manage puking kids. Naturally, we all know, wash hands, sanitize, blah, blah. That’s important, of course, but won’t help you maintain your sanity. The following tips will, at least mostly (and just for fun, see if you can count how many different words for “vomit” are used in this post).

Here we go:

1. Old gallon ice cream buckets make the best vomit receptacles. They are the perfect size for little ones to carry around. Not too big, but not so small that they are a hard target to hit. Plus, they fit easily in the sink for washing. And usually they even have a convenient handle.

2. Put a big blanket on the floor. Something that you can throw in the washing machine that is thick enough that the puke that lands on it won’t go through to your rug or carpet Quilts are good. Blankets that are knitted or crocheted are not. Have several of these to rotate. Don’t let sick babes on the furniture.

The last part of #2 might seem harsh, but it is surprisingly easy when you follow rule #3.

3. The TV is your friend. Put in movies. Put on the Disney Channel or Nick Jr. or PBS or whatever you allow your kids to watch. Try to let them see at least a few things that are new-ish to them so they aren’t tempted to wander away or climb on the furniture. This serves two purposes. First, it keeps them occupied when they feel junky and tired and don’t want to do anything else (like Lass did after being up all night). And second, it keeps them from playing with (and vomiting on and germing-up) their toys, and keeps their touching of each other and spreading of germs to a minimum (ideally, I realize this didn’t work so well for us). It helps keep them on the blanket and off the furniture. Containment is the key here.

Buuut, if they absolutely won’t stay off the furniture, then just put a big blanket over the couch, obviously.

4. Especially if you have little ones who aren’t able to grasp the concept of aiming for the bucket, try to pay attention to when they get sick and how long they are going between retches and what their “I’m about to barf” face looks like. Other than her first two hurls on Saturday (before I got the timing down), I caught all of Sis’s puke. She was on a pretty predictable spew-every-thirty-minutes schedule for a while. Once, I even managed to pull her upright, yank her blankie out of the way, and get the bucket under her mouth all in one motion of preserving vomit-free clothing and floor.

5. Speaking of clothing, don’t bother with having your kids get dressed (my older girls stayed in pajamas, but during the worst of the barf-fest, Sis just had on a diaper). I think this goes without saying, but if they’re sick they aren’t going anywhere, and thus don’t need to get dressed. You’ll be doing enough laundry. Save yourself from washing another outfit or several (I think my laundry pile this week is actually pretty small, since no one except my husband has left the house since Thursday and the puked-on stuff is already done).

6. Along those lines, if you have one (or more) sick kid, and it’s bedtime, and you aren’t sure if the sickies will continue into the night and/or spread to your other kids, and you’re supposed to give them a bath before bed because it’s bath night? Just don’t bother. Chances are they’ll get one at some point during the night anyway. I learned this one the hard way.

7. Especially with really little ones, if they’re still actively getting sick, don’t bother to put them to bed. When Sis got sick in the middle of the night (the first time she and Lass had the pukes) I just got her up and brought her down to watch a movie until I was pretty sure her stomach was settled down. The second time she got sick just before nap time, and I didn’t put her down for a nap at all that day. I knew she wouldn’t sleep anyway, and I’d quickly run out of sheets for her bed (I did usually let my older girls go to bed if they wanted, since they are better able to wake up and hit a bucket on their own).

8. If you don’t have someone nearby who can bring you puke-friendly food in the middle of the day, keep some clear pop and saltines stashed away somewhere. I learned this one the hard way too, because I don’t normally have either of these things in my house. Though my girls actually don’t like carbonated drinks, they were better able to keep down Sprite than water. And no matter how hard they beg, don’t give in to their requests for milk. And no matter how much better they’re feeling at dinner time when they haven’t thrown up in several hours, do not let them eat bacon and oranges. Even when they really want to. Trust me.

And there you have it. All of my hard-earned puke knowledge in one convenient post. Pin it for future use. You can thank me later. For your sake, hopefully much later.

How many different vomit words did you count? I got 8 🙂

Another One Bites the Dust

Posted on March 2, 2014March 2, 2014 by Amy

This has been the worst week I could have committed to posting every day. Just when I had the audacity to write yesterday “Here’s to hopefully moving beyond the stomach virus and on to bigger and much better things,” I ended up awake all night, sick myself. It was my husband’s weekend to work, so after he got the girls breakfast, he had to go.

We had an interesting “Mom’s sick day” around here. I set up camp on the floor and went crazy with Amazon instant video.

And I hit a new low with the girls’ lunches. Since I pretty much felt like I would pass out if I stood up, I chose to encourage self sufficiency for feeding times. I gave Miss instructions for moving their Learning Tower over to get plates. I told Lass where to grab boxes of prepackaged peanut butter and cheese crackers. She also grabbed the box of Saltines off the counter. They had water bottles my husband got them before he left. Voila! Lunch.

^^Saltines and cheese crackers. Highly nutritious fare here today.

^^ She was freaked out because Sophia the First was going into a troll cave.

Though the nutritional value of the food left much to be desired, they were thrilled with being given the responsibility to get lunch all by themselves. It occurred to me that I don’t encourage them to do this nearly enough. They help with chores and I let them help me cook. But prepping their own food for lunch and snacks isn’t something I usually have them do. In fact, I tend to put some things out of reach intentionally, to avoid having Sis snacking on Cheddar Bunnies all day.

Maybe I will rearrange some stuff to give them the opportunity to get food and dishes for themselves more easily. I was glad today that there were at least a few things within their reach.

I’m gradually coming back to the land of the living, after a two-hour nap and some soup for dinner. This may very well be the lamest post I’ve ever composed. Sorry. I intend to get back to posting about the usual random stuff after today. I hope you had a more fun and less vomit-filled weekend than I.

Winter Needs to Go

Posted on February 14, 2014February 14, 2014 by Amy

Okay. First there was Flumaggedon, which consisted of respiratory flu for two of the girls and my husband (his turned into pneumonia) and some type of stomach bug or possibly pool-water-induced vomiting for Miss. That ugliness caused us to cancel our scheduled ski trip in early January. After we got through it and had about a week of everyone being fairly illness-free or at least on the mend, Sis got a fever and a horrible cough while we were in Florida, and then Lass got a slight fever too. The day after we got home, I went down with a nasty cough which caused laryngitis, which I still haven’t quite recovered from. Then last Friday I woke up with pink eye. Saturday it was in my other eye. Tuesday Miss had it. Wednesday Sis had it.

And if all that wasn’t enough (it WAS!!!!), last night at about 10, just as I was about to crawl into my warm, comfy bed, I heard Lass crying. I went in to check on her and what do you suppose I found? Macaroni and cheese she had vomited all over herself and her bed. For real. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

It was in her hair and just everywhere, so I started a bath, got the gross stuff to the laundry room, grabbed a bucket, and rolled up my sleeves. The poor girl was miserable for over an hour, and then she finally passed out. I crawled into bed only to hear Sis wake up crying about an hour later. Again, mac’n’cheese all over the bed and her. Round two. You get the idea. Fortunately, she wasn’t as sick as her sister. I finally went to bed at about 1:30am.

So. This winter and all of its indoor-germ-breeding just needs to be done. In the words of Super Friend, “This winter needs to die.” I’m soooo done with sick. Oh wait, except that I’m not because I still have a cold that just keeps hanging around, and I might be getting an ear infection (because why not?).

At least the girls were better when they woke up this morning.

I was nervous, so we kept vomit-catching containers on hand and just sipped water for the first hour and a half or so after they woke up. A movie distracted them from the fact that they were starving, and kept them from going anywhere but on that blanket. We tentatively tried breakfast of bananas and toast. Not the red velvet Valentine’s Day pancakes I had planned. They kept that down too, happily watching movies while I watched for any signs of returning pukes.

^^ Bland bananas and toast, and Miss said, “I love this, Mom. What a special Valentine’s Day breakfast!”

Amazingly, it seems we’ve gotten through it now. I was sure we were going to have to cancel our second scheduled ski trip for this weekend. We were planning to leave after my husband gets home from work tonight and meet Super Friend and her family at the skiing place. Last night as I was rinsing puke from sheets to put them in the laundry, I was cursing the thought that we’d have to miss this trip too. But we’re going. No puking since about midnight last night. We’re. going.

I’m so glad we will get to salvage out trip, but unfortunately, pretty much all of my Valentine’s Day plans got foiled. We were going to have red velvet pancakes for breakfast, make flower arrangements for our table, have a fancy tea party (with fancy flower centerpieces), and other Valentine-y, crafty stuff.

We did do a bit more Valentine’s crafting once I was sure the vomiting was over.

And the girls exchanged the Valentines they had made for each other.

^^ The Valentine Miss made for Lass. She cut that heart out herself!

All is not lost though. We will be having a fancy belated Valentine’s Day/President’s Day breakfast and tea party on Monday. If we don’t get hit with the chicken pox or something in the meantime…

Three Kids, Two Different Viruses, One Day

Posted on January 8, 2014January 9, 2014 by Amy

Warning: This post is kind of lame, but I took the time to write it, so I’m posting it anyway. I couldn’t quite pull it together better, so here it is in all its glory.

I wanted to write about something else today, but I’m just too tired. My husband woke up with the flu yesterday morning. I spent yesterday trying to help him as best I could while keeping the girls and myself from getting sick. No such luck with the girls. Lass was the first to go down with a fever last night.

Sis woke with one this morning.

I thought maybe Miss would pull through without getting sick. At lunch time today she still hadn’t spiked a fever and was acting fairly normal. Then while sitting at the table for lunch she got a strange look on her face. I had a passing thought of “Hmmm, she looks like she’s going to get sick. But she’s not going to get sick. This flu isn’t the throw up kind of flu…” Then she barfed her breakfast onto her lunch plate.

So yes, now we have three respiratory flus with fever and one stomach bug with no fever. I am just wondering when I”ll be going down for the count, and whether it will be with flu, pukes, or both. I’ve been washing my hands to the point that they are bleeding in hopes of keeping the craziness from spreading, so hopefully I might make it through (relatively) unscathed.

It breaks my heart to see my babies sick.

It also pains me to know my husband is sick upstairs and to not be able to help him very much. He has been quarantined, so our primary mode of communication has been texting with the occasional phone call or food hand-off. I haven’t seen him in the past two days without one or both of us wearing an anti-viral mask.

I’m sleeping on the couch even. Thus, tired.

So. I apologize for the somewhat whiney post. I just couldn’t get my thoughts together enough to write about something else. Here’s hoping your hump day was better than mine, and that we will be on the mend around here soon 🙂

What I’ve Learned About Waking Up Early – 7 Quick Takes

Posted on November 29, 2013 by Amy

Linking up with Jen at Conversion Diary again.

I’ve become a morning person. Amazingly. Incredibly. I’m sort of addicted to waking up at six every morning. I wrote about my plan to try getting up earlier than my kids every morning here. I wasn’t sure how it would work out when I started. I am happy to report it’s working out quite nicely.

Here are seven quick takes on what I’ve learned about waking up early:

1. Coffee tastes really awesome when it’s hot! How did I not know of this little luxury before? I always thought I didn’t care if my coffee got cold, as long as I was getting caffeine. Wrong, wrong, wrong. So much yummier when hot. And I usually only drink one cup now, because I enjoy that one so much more. Win/Win!

2. Getting up early makes me more likely to exercise during nap time. I really thought I would start exercising during my early mornings, and I do sometimes. But I don’t really have time for both a workout and a cup of coffee before the kids get up. And, well, see #1? Right. So working out is not happening much in the early hours. But, if I get up and have coffee and do some other things that I used to do during nap time, then I am much more likely to make the time to exercise when my kids are napping.

3. It works better to be in stealth mode when I’m downstairs. Sometimes Miss will get up really early to go to the bathroom. If she doesn’t see any lights on, she’ll often go back to bed. If she sees the lights, she comes downstairs, sometimes before I’ve even had a sip of my nice warm coffee. So I go stealth for at least the first 30-45 minutes. That means laptop open with screen brightness turned way down and no other lights on. And tiptoeing too. Sometimes I read by the light of my Kindle only. Yes, I am a grown woman who sneaks around my house in the mornings to enjoy a little quiet time and hot coffee.

4. Speaking of which, I really appreciate how quiet and still it is in the mornings. I never realized how much I crave quiet until embarking on this little experiment. Loud is wonderful, and kids, and family, and joy, and laughter. I love loud because it reminds me how full and festive my life is on a daily basis. But quiet is good too. Quiet reminds me to breathe and pray and cherish. Maybe not everyone needs quiet. But I now know that I do.

5. I know that I do because I am so much more cranky in the mornings if I don’t get it. I rarely sleep past six anymore, but when I do, I just feel kind of off all day. I also feel that way on the days when I do get up at six but so do my kids.

6. I like being awake when my girls get up. I used to sleep as long as possible, not waking until the first of my kids got up, sometimes ignoring little voices playing in beds for a bit so I could grab a few more minutes of sleep. Sometimes Miss would come in my room to wake me up and I’d tell her it wasn’t time to get up yet so she needed to go back to bed for a little while. I usually wasn’t much fun during the process of waking up for the day.

Now, when Miss comes down stairs or I go up to get one of the younger girls, I spend time savoring the moments of seeing them again after 10 or 11 hours apart. I say, “I’m so happy to see you this morning!” and I mean it. We have special morning snuggles and tickles and I am so much more ready to be present with them when I’ve had just a little time to be present with myself already.

7. So, you might be wondering what the heck do I do for 30-45 minutes every morning in the dark? Sometimes I write. Sometimes I just surf around the web and read interesting things. Sometimes I prepare homeschool lessons (but I don’t use the printer or laminator – too loud). Sometimes I read with my little Kindle light. I have even used this light to illuminate a paper book (it works just fine if you’re wondering). Often I pray. I have found that praying the rosary in the quiet and dark is very peaceful and centering. It’s a perfect way to begin my day.

I’m becoming a Catholic and a morning person. Wow.

The La-La Factor

Posted on November 25, 2013November 25, 2013 by Amy

My middle child is a dreamer. You might say she’s flighty. A bit of a ding dong.

Trying to get her to focus long enough to complete a task is difficult to say the least. She’s easily distracted. She wants to sing and twirl and play. She is constantly imagining herself somewhere else. The drudgery of this world, things like putting on shoes, cleaning up toys, changing from pajamas into clothes, is just too uninteresting for her. She has no time to stop for such petty nuisances. Picture it:

Me: “Girls, please get your shoes on” (calling to them while packing some things in my bag as we’re getting ready to leave)

Miss: “Okay” (starts to put shoes on)

Lass: “La la lalalala laaaaa” (dancing, twirling, singing, swooping an animal or princess figure through the air, maybe sort of drifting in the direction of her shoes)

Me: “Okay, coats on please!” (handing them coats, realizing Lass is nowhere near getting her shoes on)

Me: “Lass, please get your shoes on!” (while putting Sis’s shoes on her)

Lass: “Laaaaa” (drifting, drifting, close to shoes, still twirling)

Me: “Honey! Put! Your! Shoes! On!”

Lass: “I AM!!!”

Me: “No you’re not. You’re dancing and twirling. That’s not putting on shoes.”

Lass: “MOM I AM! Stop talking.” (more dancing and singing) “I can’t find my shoes!” (They are right next to her)

Me: Head explodes.

The La-La Factor. That’s what this is. It’s taken me a while, but I finally have a name for it. It must be considered in all things. Cleaning up toys? Yes. Getting dressed? Yes. Making sure she doesn’t drown during swimming lessons? Yes.

It requires very precise, very specific instructions, given while making piercing eye contact. Like this exchange before leaving the locker room to go to the pool every single week:

Me: (on eye level with her) “Okay, what is our rule during swimming lessons?”

Lass: “Stay on the side of the pool unless my teacher says.”

Me: “Yes. Do not get in the water unless your teacher tells you to. If you get cold and if your teacher says you can, you can wait your turn in the water, but you always keep one hand on the side of the pool at. all. times. Do you understand?”

Lass: “Yes.”

Me: “Look at my eyes. One hand on the side all the time. Okay?”

Lass: “Okay.”

Excessive you think? Paranoid? Helicopter-ish? Well, even after going through that with her every week, even given the fact that her toes can touch the bottom in the area where they do lessons, I have still nearly had to jump in for a save more than once when she has “forgotten” my instructions, bobbled her little self out and away from the side, and gone under the water (while her teacher is instructing someone else clear across the pool). Even after all that, I still drenched myself while lunging for her in the zero entry area while she was playing before class, and her dancing and flopping around led her to lose her footing and go under (no preplanned instructions for that, I guess).

It’s okay really. Of course. The sweet girl is pretending and dreaming. It’s my job to think about the serious things in life, like potential drownings and keeping the house tidy and getting us where we need to be on time, not hers. But man, the La-La Factor throws a monkey wrench in my plans on a daily basis.

Getting dressed? I give clear instructions for her to get clean underwear, long pants and a long-sleeved shirt and put them on. I leave her to it while I get Sis dressed. I come back a while later and she is lying on her floor, pajamas off, no clothes on, singing a song while twirling her pants over her head. Or she’s pulling her pants up with no underwear on underneath. Or she’s sitting in her closet, pajamas still on, trying to put a dress on a doll. Every. day. She meanders. She flits. She dilly dallies. It’s utterly endearing. And utterly maddening.

In all fairness, Miss is not immune to dilly dallying. I’m sure no child is at this age. Though I think with her it’s less of a La-La Factor and more of a I’m-Pretending-I-Don’t-Hear-You-And-Intentionally-Moving-Very-Slowly-Because-I-Don’t-Like-To-Be-Told-What-To-Do Factor.

Oh well, what can I do? Besides giving specific instructions, periodically ~~losing my mind~~ redirecting gently, and incorporating the La-La Factor into planning for all things? I don’t like to hover. I adore that she’s so imaginative and playful. I guess I just enjoy that she’s dreaming. And leave lots of time to get ready for all things.

The Interpreter

Posted on November 6, 2013November 5, 2013 by Amy

One of my favorite things about the stage that Sis is in currently is that I get to be her interpreter.

Her language is really taking off, but much of the time, no one can understand her but me.

Of course, she has lots of words that are obvious to all, like “Wa-wa,” “Nigh-Night,” and “Otay!” But there are many of her words and phrases that are not so easy to recognize.

I love that I know what she means when others don’t. That I know that “Dow!” (down) means “Up.” And that sometimes it means “down.”

I am happy that I’ve figured out that “Me!” means “Again!” and “Too” means “Me too!”

I’m glad I have deciphered that “I nit” means “I want that” and “I no” means “I don’t know.” That “Ah weesh” means “I wash” and “I brush” and “A fish.”

The mind of a 19 month old is so busy and so fascinating. She imitates everything, especially what her sisters do.

Here’s an example:

A few days ago she was in the school room with me. She pulled out one of the carpet squares her sisters use for circle time in school. She put it on the rug in front of the white board and calendar, sat on it cross-legged, pointed to the calendar, and said “Twooo, weeee, twooo, weeee” (two, three, two, three). That’s how she counts, and she was doing it like her sisters do when we count the days to determine the date. Then she got up and went to the window to look out, just like her sisters do when we are checking to see the weather for the day. She points to all letters and says, “P.”

She also has wonderful manners, even if I’m the only one who can understand them most of the time.

“Da-doo” = “Thank you”

“Shoo-shoo” = “Excuse me” and “Bless you”

“Pee!” = “Please”

“I wowy” = “I’m sorry”

“Ow you?” = “How are you?” and when I answer, “I’m well, thanks. How are you?” she says, “Ghee!” (good)

She calls Lass by her name (which is not Lass, BTW) and she calls Miss “Di-duh” (sister).

This past weekend when lots of family was here at the Farm, I had to quickly learn to differentiate “Di-duh” and “Duh-doh” for “Sister” and the name of one of her cousins, respectively.

“Nee” is “banana.” “Ee-ma-mo” is “animal.” And also “horse.”

“Way hoppy?” is “What happened?”

“Bay” is “blankie,” though it used to be “Bee-bee” which still is “Baby.” Sometimes I have a hard time remembering that she now calls her blankie “Bay” and think she is saying “Pay” which means “play.”

Just today she said a new word – “kets” which is “catch.” That one was pretty easy to figure out since she said it as she was trying to throw a ball at me. She said “Kets! Twooo, weeee…” and then threw it six inches in front of herself.

She loves to play with utensils, and sometimes it can be a bit hard to distinguish “Pooo!” which means “spoon,” from “Poooo!” which means “change my diaper!”

I consider it one of the great privileges of motherhood that I get to be the interpreter for my kids as they learn language. I love being able to translate for others who, knowing this ability of The Mom, intuitively look at me to tell them what my child said. I like understanding my girls. I like helping others to understand them.

It’s like my girls and I, for a while at least, have this special little bond wherein we speak a secret language, and I get to understand them better than anyone else.

I love being a mom.

Motherhood and Miscellany

Category: Motherhood