Three

Posted on February 20, 2012 by Amy

Yesterday was Miss’s third birthday. She’s three. I can hardly believe it. It seems like it couldn’t have been that long ago that she came into my world and made me a Mama.

I wonder if I will have this incredulous feeling every year, as time flies by and my girls get older. Holy cow, Miss is six! How is that possible? and OMG, I just can’t believe my little Lass is 10, and so on. I suspect I will. I suspect I will continue to cherish every new stage my girls reach, while simultaneously feeling just a little bit shocked, maybe a teeny bit sad, that they are growing up. Each time one of my girls has a birthday, I think back on the day that she was born and I savor my memories of those first moments of seeing her, holding her, and marveling at every tiny detail of her. I look at how much she has grown and I am amazed. These girls amaze me in their new developments all the time. I suspect they always will.

We were out of town visiting family this weekend, and unfortunately both of my girls had bad colds. Miss woke from her nap shortly before her birthday party started, and it took her a little while to warm up. She had been feeling yucky for a few days, and was resistant to the idea of even having a birthday party. She did get into playing with her sister and cousins eventually.

We had a Care Bears themed party and I had been so excited for her to enjoy it, but she just wasn’t feeling it. When it came time to sing “Happy Birthday” and blow out her candles, she was not having any part of it.

Poor thing refused to blow out her candles, so we had to ask one of her cousins to help.

I hated that she was feeling so badly. She even said, at first, that she didn’t want any cake or ice cream. After I got some and offered to share a bite with her, she changed her mind though. She ate most of “my” piece of cake and almost all of my ice cream.

Notice her poor upper lip and under her nose. She has been refusing to let me put anything on it but chapstick, and she wipes or licks that off almost right after I put it on.

My birthday girl perked up a bit more when she started opening her gifts.

A few months ago, after she first saw the movie “Snow White” and we read books like “The Little Mermaid” and “Sleeping Beauty” a few times, she said that she wanted “A Snow White, a Sleeping Beauty, Ariel without her tail, a prince, a queen and a castle” for her birthday. So that’s what she got.

But the biggest gift hit? The Yo Gabba Gabba beanie babies I had ordered for her for Christmas. They were back ordered and didn’t arrive until late January. She is currently sleeping with all five of them.

Lass had a pretty good time at the party as well.

Overall the party was a success, I think, though I wish my girls had been feeling better. I’m hoping they will be back to their energetic, happy selves very soon.

Speaking of very soon, in only about five weeks or so, we will expand again to a little family of five.

I’m so eager to meet little Sis. Tonight I’m thinking about the Birth Day of my eldest, while happily anticipating the rapidly approaching Birth Day of our newest little one.

Some Random Thoughts and a Tea Party

Posted on February 9, 2012 by Amy

Sleep has been somewhat elusive the past few nights. I think I’m starting to get a little bit freaked out about how close the arrival of little Sis is. Example – Two nights ago, I woke up at 12:53 to go to the bathroom. Then I realized I was hungry, so I came downstairs to get a snack. I decided to check my email and look around online a bit while I ate my snack. I wasn’t down here for more than 10 minutes, but when I went back to bed I was wide awake and sleep was nowhere to be found. I tossed and turned, but I just could not quiet my mind. My thoughts bounced back and forth between worrying about the fact that Sis is still breech, just like her big sister Lass was at this point in my pregnancy with her, and stressing out about all the things I have to do before Sis arrives.

I am already trying everything I can to get Sis to flip. Most of it is the same as what I tried with Lass, I’m just starting earlier. My idea was that maybe Lass didn’t flip until the last minute because she was so big, so I started earlier while Sis is hopefully small enough that something – contortions, music, moxibustion, chiropractor, whatever – will work before I get to the point of needing to try to have my doctor turn her, like she did Lass. My crazy, middle-of-the-night thoughts consisted of lots and lots of worrying that it would be pretty hard to be so lucky as to have a version work twice. There’s no real scientific basis for this fear, I guess, but there it is. And it was magnified almost to the point of insanity at 2am. Everyone seems so amazed that the version worked so well with Lass, since it’s not really a high percentage procedure (so maybe there is some basis for my fear…), that I can’t help but worry that I won’t have the same luck a second time, if it comes to that point. Obviously it doesn’t help to worry about it, but I do anyway.

And then there’s the fact that I have a nursery for Sis that is emptied of guest room furniture and freshly painted, and that’s it. So after ruminating about my fears of having another c-section for a while, I started thinking, “Crap, I have so much to do to get Sis’s furniture out of Miss’s room and put Miss’s new stuff in her room and get all the new decor done in all three girls’ rooms. And oh geez, I still need to sew Sis’s crib sheets, but I can’t get to my sewing machine because the old guest room mattress is leaning against it, since we couldn’t fit the box spring down the stairs, and what the heck are we going to do with a queen sized mattress and box spring that won’t fit into our guest room, which now has to be in the basement because we have nowhere else to have it?” And so on and so on, for a half hour or so, then back to the breech-c-section issue, repeat. The last time I looked at my clock (after getting up again for a second snack at around 3:00) it was about 3:30. I suspect I finally fell back to sleep at around 4.

Anyway… I know there’s not much I can do about Sis being breech (other than what I’m already doing obsessively), so I am trying not to worry about that for now. I’m not very successful in these attempts to not worry, but I’m trying nonetheless. And to address my other source of stress, well I just need to get off my rear and start getting some things done. I have started working on some craft projects I have for all the girls’ rooms (I’ll do some posts soon to show what I’m doing). I’ve made a good list for myself of things to get done and a Honey-do list for my hubby. He actually requested this after learning that I’m am losing sleep because of stressing out about this stuff. He’s awesome. And he has a week off coming up, during which we will not be traveling. So, we’ll get it done. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway.

And never fear. In between all the worrying, the contorting, and the crafting, we’re having lots of fun. We went to a birthday party this past weekend at Monkey Joe’s. Miss was scared of the big bouncy things, but she had fun running around and playing with Lass in this small one.

It was so great to have my hubby along to help. On the way home I thanked him for coming to the party with us, and he said, “What, you mean that was optional?”

After a bit Miss got a bit braver and was willing to try some of the slightly bigger slides.

And Lass is just fearless.

They loved these glasses they got in their goody bags.

It was a fun party, but I have to say I’m not a fan of Monkey Joe’s. Not because there’s anything wrong with that place in particular, I just don’t enjoy trying to keep track of my girls at their current ages in a place where line of sight is so limited. I much prefer taking them to someplace like the YMCA or open gym at the Gymnastics Center where they both take classes to let them run around and burn some energy. Speaking of gymnastics, I love that I can now take Lass with me when Miss goes to her gymnastics class and don’t have to get a sitter for her anymore. She loves watching her “Sissy” too.

And finally, I came down from putting Lass to bed last night to find Miss having a tea party with her Daddy. She was so excited to have her tea set out and to serve us tea, including adding cream and sugar according to our requests. It was so cute.

Time with my girls is the best possible cure for my stress about the above issues. But I still really want Sis to flip ASAP.

A Week to Remember

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Amy

We got back late last night from a long, tiring, yet fun-filled ten days at the Farm. The girls grew so much during the week it seems, with so much to do and so many loving people around to do it with. Both sets of their grandparents, aunts, uncles, a gazillion cousins. They saw cool and interesting things and had new experiences. This bird’s nest is just one example of the treasure trove of nature that is the Farm.

The photo doesn’t do it justice. It’s made mostly of pieces of baling twine, twisted intricately around the branches and woven with grass, and probably other stuff. The general consensus was that it was probably an oriole’s nest. We didn’t bring it back with us, though that would have been a hell of a find for Miss to take to preschool. Miss’s Baba also gave her a robin’s egg, but we forgot that too. Miss saw deer, a coyote, a huge praying mantis, the biggest spider I’ve ever seen outside a glass case, a stick bug, and on and on. She really loved checking out the milkweed pods and walnuts that she found on the ground.

A different kind of new experience came for her in the form of corn. She has had sweet corn many times that I cut off the cob for her, but this week she had her first try at eating it right off the cob. She thought that was pretty cool.

But much more thrilling was her first ride on the “Great Big Mable” float pulled behind my in-law’s boat.

She didn’t seem scared in the slightest.

Just waving and smiling. My little daredevil.

Right after coming in from the boat and Mable ride, she went fishing with her Daddy. They caught several fish, and she had lots of fun with the worms.

One fish broke off their hook, so Miss sat and watched for fish with my mom while her Daddy went to get a new hook.

Then they were back in business.

Poor Lass is too little to get in on lots of the action her sister is getting into now, but she had great fun playing with her cousins. She really started moving with her walking this week too. Though she took her first steps shortly after turning 11 months, she never really got going with walking, and in fact until a few days ago, had almost stopped trying entirely. Now she’s really getting into it, choosing to walk instead of crawling more and more often, and stringing together more and more steps.

After her fishing time with her Dad, Miss got ready to go for a treasure hunt. She got all ready in her boots and headed out to the Ranger. The treasure hunt is one of my favorite things about the farm.

Tons of kids and adults pile on the Rangers and go off to explore and look for treasures of all kinds. I used to love going on treasure hunts when I first started coming to the Farm almost a decade ago. I was always the “City Mouse” to my husband’s “Country Mouse” family, and thoroughly enjoyed going out and being awed by all the finds. It’s a hundred times more fun to do it now with my kids.

We stopped to pick lots of wild flowers, which Lass loved.

Then we got down to the beach, where the kids splashed around and looked for shells and critters.

There were tons of tiny frogs hopping all around and the kids had a blast trying to catch them. Miss got to hold one that her older cousin caught for her. She also found a snake that her uncle grabbed up for her. That girl and her snakes…

Lass enjoyed the beach too.

It was really a week to remember. Every new experience for my girls seems like something new and amazing for me too. I love every minute of it.

Today we savored the trip and each other, happy to be home and back in our routine. Summer is winding down quickly here in the North Country. Today was crisp and felt very much like fall already. Football has started (Go Blue!). And preschool starts this week! Loving every minute.

A Snake and a Cake

Posted on August 30, 2011 by Amy

We had Lass’s birthday party on Saturday. We are at the Farm, and are so lucky to have such a wonderful place to have a party. A perfect example of how things often happen here is that one of the girls’ cousins found a snake shortly before the party started and brought it up to the house. Everyone was shying away from it, except Miss of course.

She thought it was pretty cool.

It was a dead snake,

but she didn’t care. I love, love, love that my girls can have experiences like this. Miss was not squeamish in the least about holding that snake, and that makes me smile.

Something else that makes me smile is a first birthday party. I like birthdays. I like celebrating my girls’ birthdays, but there is something just a little extra special about a first birthday.

It’s seeing the look on the face of my littler girl, who has never really had cake before, when she sees it for the first time. A special little cake just for her.

It’s feeling her excitement when everyone sings a song all together, just for her.

It’s this look of “Can I really? Really?”

And then the laughter and joy in watching her gradually try it out

and finally dig in.

She spent a few minutes just squishing her hands in the cake, loving the feel of it.

And then she remembered, “Oh yeah, this stuff tastes good too!”

I love this!

Getting ready to dive in…

Yum!!!

Washing it all down.

How many shots does it take to get our little family photo with everyone looking at the camera and smiling? Not so easy with a 2.5 year old, a 1 year old, and a cake sitting in front of both of them. In the first attempt, we did pretty well. Lass had already had her fill of cake. Unfortunately, Miss hadn’t gotten her piece yet, and she couldn’t take her eyes off Lass’s totally destroyed cake.

Second try? Miss stole a pinch of cake, and Lass didn’t like it too much.

Third try? Lass decided she’s better eat more before her sister got it all.

Oh well. They’re great photos anyway. Thanks to my Auntie for taking them (and for coming to the party from 3 hours away… and picking up the cakes…)

Big sister finally got her cake and ice cream.

She even shared with Grandpa.

And the clean up effort.

It was a wonderful day and a perfect party. So many family members came to celebrate with us, and that always means so much to us. Huge props to my in laws for letting us have this special event at their Farm. I know Lass won’t remember this day, but I’m thrilled to have these great photos to show her when she gets older. And the day is indelibly imprinted in my memory, just as Miss’s first birthday party a year and a half ago is. I love a first birthday party.

One Year

Posted on August 24, 2011 by Amy

One year ago, I was arriving at the hospital, in labor with Lass.

I was excited about her impending arrival but scared and nervous at the same time. I had only been in labor with Miss for about four or five hours before I had a c-section, so I had very little experience and naturally I was apprehensive about my plan to have an unmedicated VBAC.

Little did I know how long that night and the next morning would turn out to be. Little did I know that Lass would be 10 and a half pounds of perfect. Little did I know how much joy she would bring to my life and our family. One year ago, when I got to the hospital, ready to get the show on the road and meet our little Lass, I had some idea about the joy part at least. I knew she would be wonderful and we would love her. I knew it would be amazing to have two little girls and a sister for Miss. But that night, one year ago, in my last few (okay, many and agonizing!) hours as a mommy of one little girl, I couldn’t even imagine how much. How wonderful. How big our love. How amazing.

Tonight I’m reflecting on that night, just before Lass came into our lives and made our happy family happier. I’m remembering being a little scared about how Lass’s arrival might affect Miss. I’m smiling at how it did affect her, and at what a fantastic big sister she is. Tonight I’m choking up thinking that my baby will be a year old tomorrow. I’m cringing slightly remembering the pain of getting her here (who the heck says you forget that, by the way?). I’m reminiscing about how great my husband was and what a great team we were that night.

Tomorrow Lass will be one, and I’m all sappy and sentimental thinking about it tonight. It’s amazing the difference one year makes in the life of a family. I remember feeling like Miss grew up practically overnight between the time I put her to bed on this night one year ago and the time she walked into my hospital room to meet her baby sister.

This is Miss, one year ago.

This is her a few weeks ago.

I love to see how much she’s grown.

I mentioned above how it seemed like Miss grew up almost overnight when Lass was born. Today was another day that made her suddenly seem so much more grown up.

Today she went for a visit to her preschool. Preschool. It wasn’t her official first day of school. That will be after Labor Day. Today she just went to check things out and was only there for about an hour and a half. She seemed to be having a blast when I left (she gave me a kiss and ran back to playing with blocks and toy dinosaurs with another little boy) and when I came back (she was happily drawing a picture). Her teacher said she had a little rough patch, but over all did great. When I asked Miss how she liked school she said, “I cwied because my want you.” Stab to the heart. Twist. Gulp. I have to remember how much fun she seemed to be having for the majority of the time she was there. She was very interested in the science area with the birds’ nests, rocks, seeds, and other various objects from nature (she couldn’t stop talking about the birds’ nests and seeds). She got very excited when we talked about trying to find something at the farm next week that she might be able to take to school to add to the collection. She talked about new friends she got to play with. I know she’s going to love school. She’s so confident and inquisitive. It will be great for her to have her own “thing” to do twice a week, without me. Hopefully her first “full day” (three hours) will be a little easier in a couple of weeks.

Lass and I will stay nearby just in case. Today we went two doors down to a bagel shop and met up with the Daddy (who is on nights this week and came from work) for breakfast and coffee. In my last post I mentioned that Lass was feeling under the weather. When she woke up with a fever again on Saturday I took her to the doctor and found out she had strep throat! I suspect she picked it up on the plane home from Florida. She’s been taking her antibiotics and is back to her happy little self now.

My little almost-one-year-old at breakfast with Mommy and Daddy:

Grandmas and Grandpas

Posted on November 11, 2010August 17, 2012 by Amy

Grandparents are great. I spent some time today looking at family photos and showing them to my girls. I like to tell them about my grandparents. I love seeing the photos of Miss with them. I feel sad because I will not be able to have photos of Lass with all of my grandparents. In the past year two of my grandparents passed away, and she will never meet them. Last December, my Papa B passed away and in February my Grandma C. I don’t want to make this a sad post or to sound like I’m saying, “Poor me.” The fact is, I don’t feel like “Poor me” at all. I am the only person I know who was lucky enough to have all four of my grandparents living and in relatively good health up until this past year. I’m in my mid thirties and have had a long time to enjoy great relationships with my all of my grandparents.

So, I know that Miss won’t remember my Grandma C and Papa B, and Lass will never meet them. But I talk about them. I want my girls to know how good they were and how much I loved them. How much they meant in my life and how often I still think of them. Right now I mostly just show pictures and tell the girls who they were. I do the same with pictures of my Grandma B and Grandpa C, who happily are still with us. When the girls are older I will tell them more. What kinds of things will I tell them?

Well, I’ll tell them how my Grandma C used to make pancakes in animal shapes. It seems like she could do any animal we requested. I’ll make her delicious potato salad with them and make sure they know it’s her recipe. And I’ll tell them that she used to give me free reign in her jewelry box, which was heaven for me as a little girl. I used to spend hours draping myself in her necklaces and clipping her earrings on. I’ll tell them that she always seemed absolutely thrilled to see me, and how good that made me feel. I’ll tell them that she never failed to tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me, as I have lived far away from her and my Grandpa for many years. I’ll tell them how much she loved Miss and how much she would have loved Lass had she been alive to know of her.

There are some things I find it hard to describe about her. Sometimes when I am rocking Lass, I notice that I am rocking and patting her in a rhythm that reminds me of my Grandma. I’m not sure why, as I’m sure I don’t remember her rocking me that way. Maybe I saw her rocking and patting my younger cousins or older cousins’ children that way. She loved holding babies! She was so loving and always wanted to hold my hand or pat my knee when we visited. Things like the sound of her voice or the feel of her hugs, which I remember well, will be hard to explain to my girls, but I will tell them as much as I can about her, so they can feel a little bit like they know her too.

I’ll tell my girls about my Papa B too. I’ll tell them that he was kind and funny. He was a great photographer, and I wish I would have become interested in photography when he was still living so I could have learned about it from him. I’ll tell my girls that he was hard working and a WWII veteran. We have his old coffee thermos that he used to take to work in our kitchen, and they’ll know that it belonged to their Great Papa. I’ll tell them about his wonderful warm voice and surprisingly soft hands. I’ll tell them about his great laugh. He had an ornery giggle when he was teasing, and a great happy laugh that made me smile. I’ll tell them that he was funny. I’ll tell them that he had a big laugh, and big ideas, and a big heart.

I’ll tell them how he was legally blind in the latter years of his life, but he still golfed. He just had my Grandma orient him to the ball and away he went. I’ll tell them how he obviously adored my Grandma, which was a wonderful thing to see. They were married nearly 70 years. I’ll tell my girls how he’d say “Hey Kid!” and pinch my side. At his memorial service this summer I showed Miss a photo of him and said “This is your Great Papa. Can you say Papa?” and she did, for the first time.

I love to tell my girls about my Grandma B and am excited for Miss to see her again and Lass to meet her in a few months when we go visit her. They have tangible items all around that are constant reminders to me and to them of her. Miss plays with a Raggedy Ann doll that my Grandma made for me when I was little. And my Grandma recently sent Miss a beautiful quilt (to be featured in a future post). There is an afghan crocheted by my Grandma and a pillow embroidered by her in Miss’s room. And Lass has a doll that my Grandma gave me. My Grandma puts love into her stitches, and we can wrap ourselves in it all the time. When we see or hold these things, I tell my girls where they came from.

I have many memories of singing with her as a little girl. She has a beautiful voice. She can play the piano and the dulcimer. She made the best grilled cheese sandwiches and we made s’mores on her gas stove. I can remember standing on a chair and her helping me to toast my marshmallow. Who needs a campfire?? And she makes a cherry cheesecake that is the best I’ve had. I just feel happy when I think of her. She is very special to me. She has always been patient and kind and loving. When I was in graduate school I went through a very painful break up. My Grandma sent me the most beautiful card to tell me that she was thinking of me. She is thoughtful that way and I’ll never forget how that card made me feel better at the time. I still have that card. My Grandma has always been the best at making everything better.

I loved seeing Miss with her this summer when we were together for my Papa’s memorial service.

My Grandma never wastes anything. She doesn’t throw things away if she can reuse them, and she often does. I think she said she was going to make flowers out of the tissue paper in the photo below. It seems like she can make anything. She makes most of her own clothes and made those of my Papa. She is the keeper of our family memory, putting together photo albums for everyone in the family packed with history.

My Grandpa C has a very special place in my heart. He is strong and proud and good and loving. He and my Grandma had six children and he always wore a tie clip with the birthstones of all of his children on it. I remember sitting on his lap when I was little and saying the names of all of my aunts and uncles as I pointed to each of their birthstones. I had a funny rhythm in which I would repeat the names, over and over, and he was always patient and attentive as I did it. I loved that tie clip!!

He calls me “Amesville” and has a similar nickname for nearly everyone in our family. I can hear his big voice in my head calling out this nickname when I would walk into their house in years past. Now his voice is softer but the nickname is the same, every time. He is Italian, and Miss was given an Italian name because of him. She goes by a shorter version of her legal name, but he always calls her by her given Italian name. He is the only one who does.

I also enjoy telling my girls about their Great Grandma S, my husband’s grandma. I don’t have the memories to tell them about her like I do with my grandparents, but I can tell them what a delightful woman she is and how loving and devoted to her family she is.

I think grandparents are the greatest thing. I think of mine often and hold my memories close. Even though I didn’t always live near them, they seem to be a big part of who I have become. I like to hear their stories, whether directly from them or from my parents. I could look for hours at the photo albums my Grandma B has put together with her captions. My favorite is the one of her and my Papa in their “courting” years and early years of their marriage.

In addition to having all four of my grandparents living until recently, I was fortunate enough to know two of my great grandmothers. I have great memories of them as well, particularly G-Grandma J, who lived near me when I was growing up. I remember writing a paper about her when I was in 5th grade and being so intrigued by her life. Family history is so important and special. I hope my girls will love it as much as I do.

And even though we don’t live near their grandparents either, I hope they will have wonderful relationships with them as well and make the same kind of memories that bring warmth as only grandparents can. That is why my husband and I travel with them as much as we do. To give our girls the gift of family and grandparents and great grandparents. There’s nothing like Grandmas and Grandpas.

They give lots of love.