7QT, Theme Thursday, All in One

Posted on August 23, 2014 by Amy

Linking with Jen and Cari today.

Cari’s Theme Thursday this week was “Google Image Search.” Easy – type your own name into Google Images and share the first image of you that comes up. Except that I am kind of crazy paranoid about keeping myself and my family somewhat anonymous on the internet. I don’t use my last name here on the blog, I don’t use my kids’ real names, etc. Add that to the fact that my last name is super generic (think Jones), and I end up with a Google image search in which not one of the photos that shows up is of me. Not. One. I would have done a screen shot of the images that did show up, but I have no idea how to do that, so here are a few samples.

^^ Not me (that’s Amy Grant in case you couldn’t tell)

^^ Also not me (that’s Amy Lee from Evanescence)

^^ Yeah, not me either (Amy Smart?)

Anyway, you get the idea. There were tons of photos that came up of people who actually do have the same name as me, but I didn’t want to put some random person’s pic on here without her permission, so these are a few of the celebs that came up.

Apparently, as far as the internet is concerned, I don’t really exist. I’m cool with that.

To see other people’s actual pictures of themselves from Google image searches, check out Cari’s Theme Thursday link here.

We started homeschooling this past week. This is earlier than I wanted to, but Miss will be starting her part-time kindergarten next week, and for the first week she’s going to go for three full days so she can get into the classroom groove and get to know the other kids. I wanted her to get a foundation of school at home before doing that, so I began before I was entirely prepared.

It’s been a little crazy. I’m not in a groove yet. I haven’t gotten things worked out so that I can work with Miss and keep the others occupied and still be able to do a little bit of one-on-one work with Lass. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.

^^ She doesn’t use a binkie, she just found that and decided it was nice to chew on ^^

I will say that, though it has been a little crazy, I’m pleased overall with how the week went. Miss is begging for more of her reading lessons. The girls learned some fun stuff, like what onomatopoeia and personalization are (thanks, FIAR). They had fun coming up with examples of these. We did some cool art. We went on our first field trip.

The field trip was to a place called Bookworm Gardens. All of the different areas at these gardens are based on different children’s books. They even have little cubbies all around the gardens with the books in them, laminated, so you can read them while you explore.

^^ Goldilocks and the Three Bears

^^ Little House on the Prairie

^^ Horton Hatches the Egg

You get the idea.

I thought it wouldn’t be crowded, since school groups aren’t taking field trips yet. I failed to realize that, since most schools haven’t even started yet, the summer daycare programs are ending, and they’re taking field trips. The place was packed.

We had plenty of fun anyway.

In addition to having to prepare for doing my own schooling with the girls at home, I’ve had to get Miss’s stuff ready for her part-time Kindergarten too.

Which means a lot of labeling. Her teacher wants everything labeled. Each crayon. Each marker. Each colored pencil. That’s a lot of labeling. Super Friend did this last year, and she recommended her handy dandy label maker machine.

Which really is quite handy dandy. Except the labels aren’t quite as sticky as they’d need to be to stay on curved objects, like crayons and markers. I stayed up late Sunday night and got all of the items labeled. When I went to show Miss her stuff the next day, I found that on the 108 crayons, 20 skinny markers, and 10 colored pencils, the labels didn’t stay.

I panicked for a moment, and then resorted to the obvious solution. Scotch tape.

I went back and taped over every one of those suckers.

When I took Miss to meet her teacher and drop off her supplies in her classroom she said to her teacher, “My Mom was really smart, because she put my name on all of my things.”

Worth it.

Speaking of taking her to meet her teacher, the open house for her school was on Thursday. She got her school pictures taken.

She looks so grown up, and so tiny, at the same time. Look at her little feet dangling. I could cry.

We had a birthday party today.

A little girl who really loves animals is turning four tomorrow.

Naturally, we had her party at the zoo.

We had just enough time to play on the playground for a bit and see all the animals before it started to pour. Between them running out from under the covered areas to get wet on purpose, jumping in puddles, and needing to make a mad dash through the rain to the car, we had some wet kids when it was all over.

I suspect the rain and puddles were one of the highlights of the party for them.

After much deliberation, prayer, and checking (and rechecking) with my husband to be sure he’s okay with it, I have decided to become a sponsor for the RCIA program at my parish this year. The first class is September 8th. I can’t wait.

For more quick takes (probably much quicker than these!), check out Conversion Diary.

Five Things I Learned About Myself at the Edel Conference. And Then Some.

Posted on July 28, 2014July 29, 2014 by Amy

1. I am really and truly and introvert.

Sometimes I have wondered about this. Before this weekend, if you had asked me whether I am an introvert or an extrovert, I would have been uncertain how to answer. I love to get out of the house, I love to be with other people, I enjoy going to my husband’s work parties and evenings out with friends. Public speaking has never been a problem for me. I can get up in front of a room full of people and sing karaoke with only minimal anxiety.

But now I know, for real and for certain and forevermore, I am an introvert. I do not do mingling in a large group of strangers well. I am terrible at small talk. In such a situation, I am much more likely to stand in a corner and hope someone will come and introduce herself to me than to walk up to someone I don’t know and start up a conversation. I was so glad Super Friend was with me this weekend.

Yay! Super Friend!

There were many times I did introduce myself to someone new, but every time I felt awkward and scared and shy and stupid about it. I asked and answered the same questions over and over again. “Where are you from?” “How many kids do you have?”

I did have some wonderful conversations, mostly because the people I was talking to were much better at generating an interesting discussion than I am, and once it gets started I can roll with it.

Jen Fulwiler is good at conversation. And she’s tall!

I had a blast at Edel, but it really brought out the introvert in me. And I’ve realized, by looking at tweets and blog posts about the weekend, that lots of other women there were experiencing the same anxieties and discomfort I was (a great example here). There were a lot of introverts in that huge room full of mamas!

2. I am not good at Twitter.

There was a streaming Twitter feed up all day Saturday. I’m always sort of amazed and befuddled by Twitter. I don’t really understand it, and have never before felt much of a desire to figure it out, but as I was watching all the tweets on Saturday (some with photos even!!) I couldn’t help but think, “I really need to learn how to do that!” I’m so Twitter-impaired that when I wrote my “Anticipating Edel” post last Thursday, I used the wrong Twitter hashtag for #edel14 (I used #edelgathering, duh). Anyone have some Twitter tips to offer?

3. As much as I loathe taking selfies, there are some events that just cry out for the selfie, and I am not immune to that cry.

4. Speaking of “cry,” I am apparently quite prone to getting all teary and choked up when listening to wonderful speakers say beautiful things about motherhood, and Catholicism, and friendship.

Oh my goodness, there were four people who spoke on Saturday. Every single one of them had me blinking rapidly and rolling my eyes to the ceiling, in an attempt to keep the welled-up tears from spilling over and making a mess of my mascara. Hallie and Marion and Haley and Jen made such amazing, funny, uplifting, and inspiring speeches. They really made me think about faith and motherhood and community in some new ways. I feel like I should expound upon this more, but right now I’m still processing it myself, so I’ll just say it. was. awesome.

5. I am sentimental.

Okay, I didn’t really just learn this over the weekend. But I did experience a great example of it.

Each Edel attendee got a card at the dinner table on Saturday night. It was a letter written by a Dominican Sister, Sister Elizabeth Ann, and it was just, well, indescribable really (see below for a bit I quoted from it to give you an idea). It (also) brought me to tears, and was so lovely, I really wanted to be sure to bring it home to keep it and read it again and put it in my box of cards to save.

But I forgot it in the Ballroom when I went to bed (kind of early because I had to get up at 4:30am to make our flight home). I got all ready to go to sleep and climbed into bed, only to remember that I had left the card on the table. I was really bummed, and thought about going down to get it. Then I thought that would be silly. It was 11:00. And I could just get one from someone in the morning or copy Super Friend’s. But I wasn’t sure if Super had remembered to grab hers, and she was already asleep so I couldn’t ask her, and we had to leave before anyone else would be up that I could ask for another copy, and I really wanted to have one! And what if Super Friend did forget hers and she wanted one too?? I had to go get it.

So. In order to enable myself to go to sleep and stop thinking about it, I got out of bed, put on clothing (sort of) suitable for appearing in public, and went back down to the Ballroom, where most of the moms were still dancing and whooping it up like mad (I was kind of jealous). I grabbed my card from my table, explained to the few people who stopped to chat why I was wearing PJs, watched for just a minute, and then I went back to bed. Mission completed. Here is just a portion of the letter from Sister Elizabeth Ann, so you can see why I wanted to be sure to have it:

“Thank you for the daily, hourly, minute-by-minute gift of self you offer to your husbands, children, and all your loved ones.

Thank you especially for the gift of self you give that no one sees, no one appreciates, no one recognizes, and no one seems to care about. Thank you for making the effort. Thank you for trying. . . .

God sees. God Knows. God cares. He does. He really does! . . .

For those women bearing the heavy cross of infertility, I want to especially take a moment to recognize and offer encouragement to you. In our Catholic culture that embraces motherhood and big families, you may feel especially isolated and alone in your struggles and fears. Don’t lose hope. I want you to know that God sees and knows and cares about you too. . . .”

Obviously, I needed to bring it home. I kind of wished I could have brought Sister Elizabeth Ann home too!

And now for a few other things about the weekend.

If you’re wondering about the shoes my girls created for me:

We did not win a prize. The shoe competition was fierce!! And as I told my girls, of course, the shoes they made were just “too beautiful.”

Overall, Edel was such an amazing experience. Several times during the weekend, Super Friend and I looked at each other and marveled at the women around us.

“Look at all these people,” we’d say. “Can you believe all of these women are faithful Catholic moms? This is so cool. These ladies are so diverse!”

And it was. And they were. They were diverse and wonderful. And kind of crazy.

I have never seen so many moms dancing and singing and partying hard. Pregnant moms, moms with babies in carriers, young moms, older moms. So. many. fabulous. moms.

And that pretty much sums it up.

It was good that we were there.

Five Favorites – Anticipating Edel

Posted on July 24, 2014 by Amy

Tomorrow morning I’m getting on a plane and heading to the Edel Gathering for the weekend. This will be the first time since having children that I’ve taken a vacation by myself. I’m excited and nervous, and I kind of miss my girls already. Whatever. Here are five favorite things in anticipation of a fun and relaxing weekend:

1. I’m going to be meeting lots of women whose blogs I enjoy reading. Of course Jen and Hallie are the hostesses of the event, but Kelly, Haley, Heather, Kate, Dwija, Bonnie, Kathryn, Jenny, and Cari will also be there, along with other bloggers I’m sure I’m forgetting and many, many other lovely Catholic moms, and I know it’s going to be fabulous. I’m kind of excited.

2. I will be flying without children. I will have only carry-on baggage. I will not have a stroller or car seats or sippy cups to manage. I will get to check in online and print my boarding pass before I get to the airport. I kind of don’t remember what it’s like to get on a plane and have it be a sort of relaxing experience.

(My husband is laughing at the idea of flying with me being a relaxing experience, even before kids, because he is remembering all the times I forgot my wallet and/or driver’s license and realized it while pulling into the parking structure at the airport, 45 minutes from our house. But tomorrow? Tomorrow will be relaxing).

3. My two older girls helped me create my shoes for the “crazy shoes” competition tomorrow night.

Miss: “Mom, are you wearing these for a contest?”

Me: “Yes, Honey. It’s a contest for who can wear the craziest shoes.”

Miss: (doubtful) “I don’t know if these shoes are the craziest.” (adoring) “These shoes are beautiful.”

I won’t share a photo of the finished product until after the contest, but I already have a built-in response for her if I don’t win. I’ll tell her the shoes they made were just too beautiful.

4. I have a traveling companion. Super Friend is coming with me!!!!!

My husband is a little afraid I may not come back. Which brings me to number five, and my very most favorite favorite:

5. My hubby is watching our girls so that this trip is possible for me. And he’s doing it cheerfully and with a big, “You-deserve-it-Honey” kind of attitude. I love him.

If you’re going to Edel, I can’t wait to meet you!

Sharing Dessert, Pig Slaughter, and Advent

Posted on November 15, 2013 by Amy

Linking up with Conversion Diary

1. This is something I have never really thought about before, but apparently sharing a dessert at a restaurant is an intimate act. I went out for dinner with Super Friend the other night. The waitress misunderstood our dessert order and brought us two decaf coffees but only one chocolate lava cake with ice cream on the side. Only one. Super had to get home, and the lava cake takes a bit to bake, so we couldn’t just order a second one. We had to share the one we got.

Unfortunately, the waitress also didn’t bring us extra plates for splitting the cake (I guess she never thought that sharing a dessert is an intimate thing either). The two of us sat there for a few beats, spoons hovering above the single dessert, just looking at it. We are very close friends, but it was kind of an awkward moment.

Finally Super Friend echoed my own thoughts as she said, “I can’t do this,” pulled her saucer out from under her coffee cup, and scooped half of the cake and ice cream onto her own little plate. Whew! I was relieved. And I was very bummed to only have half of a dessert to eat.

2. My hubby is going to get our pig this weekend (meaning slaughter and butcher it while telling dirty jokes with his cousin and friends). We have eaten almost all of the one we got last year, minus a couple of pork chops, a few brats, and a roast or two. Is it just me, or are pork chops the worst thing in the world to try to cook? I have almost never eaten one that wasn’t like eating leather, and I can’t seem to cook one properly to save my life. This year I asked my hubby to just grind the chops up into sausage or something. I love sausage. I’d be happy if I never had to look at another pork chop again.

3. I love fall crafting. Have I mentioned this before?

4. We will be using glitter tonight. Lord help me.

5. I have recently discovered Advent. How odd that I didn’t really even know what Advent meant until the past week or two as I’ve been looking into it. I mean, last year we had an “Advent” calendar. But it was purely for the purpose of counting down the days until Christmas and doing a little something fun each day.

A couple of weeks ago Super Friend mentioned something about an Advent wreath, and I just gave her the deer-in-the-headlights look. I didn’t know what that was. Well, now I do. And I have plans this year to make a paper-plate-and-toilet-paper-roll Advent wreath with the girls (idea courtesy of Super Friend), along with doing several other Advent activities like filling the girls’ shoes to celebrate St. Nicholas’s feast day and maybe having a Jesse tree too (last year at this time I had never even heard of a “feast day” or a Jesse tree). I’m in the process of figuring out how to integrate our traditions from years past with some new fun things to actually celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. It’s going to be good.

6. I want to share our solution to Sis learning to climb out of the Pack’n’Play. I had heard of tents for cribs, and thought I might be able to find something like that, but all of those have been recalled. I was panicking, until I found this:

It’s a tent bed! I had thought of getting one of these for travel a few years ago, but the old model had thin air mattress inside it, and that made me kind of nervous about suffocation. This model has a little mattress attached to the outside of the bed, so no worries.

I was afraid Sis would freak out about being put in this thing to go to bed, but I was not about to spend a week at the Farm with her climbing out of her Pack’n’Play repeatedly throughout every nap and bedtime. So, I just let her play in it with her sisters beforehand.

When it came time for her to go to bed in it, she rolled right over and did it with no fuss. Mom win.

7. I think I might watch a movie tonight. I never watch movies. Any suggestions?

See more quick takes here!

Louisville – A Little Walk Down Memory Lane

Posted on October 8, 2013October 8, 2013 by Amy

I took the girls to Louisville this past weekend. 18 hours in the car, by myself, with three children under five. Nine there (Thursday), nine back (Sunday). Whew!

We made it, and it really wasn’t bad at all. The trip down to Louisville had a few rough moments as the girls learned that Mom couldn’t reach and do everything for them like I can when Daddy is driving, and I learned some tricks for how to help them as best I could while keeping my eyes on the road.

Both ways we only made one long stop. They enjoyed the treat of eating in restaurants and watching lots of movies.

They saw a big-city skyline for the first time as we drove through Chicago, and on a smaller scale when we reached Louisville.

I just love Louisville. It warmed my heart to drive into view of that skyline.

^^ Not exactly the skyline, but the most distinctive building.

On Friday we spent the day with some dear old friends at a pumpkin patch/farm/apple orchard/farm market/winery. It was intense, and warrants its own post in a day or two.

Friday night we went out to dinner with the same dear friends at a pizza parlor I went to from time to time while in graduate school. I have such fond memories of that place. I even went there on a date with my husband when he visited me in Louisville at the very beginning of our relationship.

Part of the reason I chose to take the girls there was that it was the only one of the places I frequented as a student that I thought would be somewhat family-friendly. But, I wasn’t entirely sure it would be, so I called in advance to make sure they would have a high chair and kid-friendly drinks. They did have high chairs but didn’t have anything but pop and tea (and alcohol) to drink. They said I could bring in my own milk though, so it was all good.

Lass actually said dinner at this restaurant was her favorite part of the trip.

There were fun Halloween decorations all over, and she has talked about the big spiders and ghosts she saw there since we left.

And the pizza was delicious. Brought back happy memories.

While I was getting all nostalgic, the girls were appreciating all the little things about the vacation.

They called this their “Fancy Breakfast” because of the french toast and milk in glass goblets.

They got to watch TV in the mornings.

And of course they had lots of goofy fun with Grandma.

On Saturday afternoon we had lunch in a beautiful park that I never went to when I lived in Louisville. I don’t know why, exactly, except that I lived nearer to a different (and less pretty) park.

We had a fun picnic.

It was pretty much entirely prepared by these ladies:

Love them.

I had seen a weather forecast that said it might rain on Saturday, and my friend who determined our meet-up spot in the park said it was near a fountain, so I figured the girls would get wet. I brought changes of clothes and their raincoats/boots.

They were disappointed that I wouldn’t let them play too much on the play structures (they were kind of slippery, and honestly, though I didn’t mind them getting wet, I didn’t want to stand in the rain to supervise Sis on them) or at all in the cool fountain/splash pad area. I would have let them run in the fountain to their hearts’ content, except that there was another little girl (around 4 or 5 probably) running in the fountain for most of the time we were there. And she had no clothes on. None. She was naked as a jaybird. I had to explain to my girls why they couldn’t also run in the fountain without clothing, “Well, Honey, it’s just not appropriate to take your clothes off in public, so no, I’m sorry, we’re not going to do that.”

But they did get wet and had a great time playing in the rain and puddles.

I’m so happy I brought the rain coats and boots and the changes of clothes. Unfortunately, I forgot towels, so I had to dry them off with some spare fleece blankets I keep in the car. Not too effective, but we managed. It was worth it.

Saturday night I had a bit of difficulty getting out of the hotel to meet my friends for dinner. Sis chose that night to learn how to climb out of her Pack’n’Play. I put her down to sleep and was completing my preparations to leave when I heard my mom say, “Is she in her bed??” I said “yes,” of course. To which she replied, “Well, it sounds like she’s right on the other side of that door…”

She was.

She thought climbing out of that Pack’n’Play was just about the neatest. thing. ever. She did it two or three more times for my Mom after I left. And then I-don’t-know-how-many times between 4 and 6 am.

I was extremely panicked thinking she was going to start doing this at home as well, but she hasn’t so far. I will need to come up with a new sleeping arrangement for her for our upcoming deer-hunting trip to the Farm though.

I did manage to make it to dinner roughly on time and had a delicious meal with wonderful company.

I was even in bed before midnight, which is a personal record for a night on the town in that city.

I lived in Louisville for four years, from the ages of 22 to 26. While I lived there I made many great friends, I earned a Ph.D., and I (amazingly) met my husband. I moved away from Louisville 11 years ago, and my life has changed immensely since living there, but the city remains very close to my heart as do the friends I keep from those years.

I was happy to experience it from a different perspective this time, with my kids.

And now I’m thrilled to be back home with my husband, doing our day-to-day thing, making memories in our family’s home town. It was really fun to walk down memory lane a little bit, and experience and old place in a new way, but I’m happy to cherish the little moments here and now with my family.

Birthday Party Success!

Posted on August 25, 2013 by Amy

My girl had a wonderful birthday yesterday.

In fact, they all seemed to have a fun day.

I’m happy to report that her horse-themed party was a success.

We had balloons, and sparkly horse tails to wear, and foam ride-on horses to make, and horse tattoos, and Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Horse, and pizza and cake, and it was great.

I didn’t take many photos because I was in full-on Hostess-with-the-Mostest mode. My goal was to keep everything running smoothly without seeming over-manage-y. I didn’t have a clue how to do that going in, but I think it all worked out pretty well.

Chaos ensued with the gift opening.

All kids were engaged in assisting the gift opening, and all grown ups were engaged in getting gifts out of the tornado-proof packaging.

We had a happy birthday girl at the end of the day, and lots of new horses with which to play!

She also finally got her very own “Wendy dress” nightgown. She requested green.

It was a happy celebration of 3 years with this precious girl.

I am blessed beyond words.

The Mom Comparison Game

Posted on August 22, 2013 by Amy

A few weeks ago I went to a play date at another mom’s home. Let’s call her Fancy Friend. She’s a lovely mom, and we’d had quite a few play dates before our trip to her house: a few at neutral places and one at my house.

When Fancy Friend and her sweet littles came to my house, I made lunch for the kids. It was just mac-n-cheese (ahem, from scratch), because that’s really all my kids want whenever I allow them to have it, and it’s easy so I can make it without sacrificing visiting time with my friend. I think I had some intention of throwing together a salad for us moms to eat, but I didn’t quite get to it that day, so Fancy and I ate some mac-n-cheese too. We had a fun play date. It was good.

Everything was good.

Until I went for a play date at her house. Um, can I just say that she went all out with three different things for the kids to eat for lunch, plus a separate lunch for us moms, which she prepared with my preference for paleo food in mind, plus she baked stuff!!!! Some yummy fluffy pastry things and an almond torte or something like that. I mean, it was fancy. What the heck?

Ugh. So now I’m kind of mad at Fancy, because I just felt like such. a. loser. the whole time I was at her house. I mean, she fed us awesome, delicious food with our dietary preferences in mind and used her OVEN in the process. Who does that?

Just kidding. I’m not at all mad at Fancy Friend. Because that would be ridiculous. But. I did feel like a loser while at her house. I was kicking myself the entire time. “Geez, why didn’t I bake something when they came over? I should have served fresh fruit on the side with the mac-n-cheese. Look at how freaking domestic she is!”

Anyway, after that play date, I started thinking about how I sometimes compare myself to other moms. It’s not a game of “I’m-better-than-her.” Oh no. When I get into the Mom Comparison Game, I tend to find myself lacking. I get this vague sort of guilty/not-good-enough feeling that sucks and is totally stupid.

It is totally stupid. But I do it anyway.

So, after my fun play date at Fancy’s house I started wondering why in the heck I do that comparison thing.

And here’s what I figured out:

I am surrounded by amazing moms.

It’s true. Friends, family, acquaintances… So many wonderful mothers cross my path or go through my mind on a daily basis. So I can’t help it.

I sometimes look at my friends who are mothering little ones right along with me, and I think that they seem to have it together so much more than I do.

I see FB updates from acquaintances, and I think they just seem to be awesome at doing the Mom Thing.

Heck, sometimes I see total strangers and think, “Gosh, that mom is really with it. Why don’t I ever….”

Then there are my family members who are done with their mothering-of-small-children years. Comparing myself to these ladies is really not fair, because mostly what I’m comparing myself to in these cases are the Successful-Offspring-Outcomes these moms have as the result of many years of in-the-trenches mothering.

I compare myself to my own mom of course, all. the. time. Or to my Auntie. Or even to people whom I never actually observed directly as mothers of small children, like my Mother-in-Law, or my Grandma, or my husband’s aunt who has five awesome young-adult daughters and I totally want to be like her.

The end result for these moms is pretty darn great, so for some reason I feel the need to wonder “Why can’t I be more like them???”

Weird, right?

I know. I find it so odd that I look at these wonderful women who surround me and somehow end up feeling like I’m not quite up to snuff.

I’m not like this all the time. Most of the time I feel pretty confident that I am doing a darn good job being Mom to my sweet girls. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m good.

Still, I have times of insecurity. The job of Mom is so darned important, and it really can be disastrous if you screw it up. My mother-in-law often quotes Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis as having said, “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.”

So. True.

And so much freaking pressure!!

So yes, I tend to compare, and sometimes think myself lacking.

I used to get annoyed with myself about this, because it’s not productive.

But then I realized that insecurity is only bad if you let it limit your life. Almost everyone has some moments of insecurity. The important thing is recognizing these for what they are and not getting all uptight about them, right?

I mean, if I look at other moms and think about how they might be doing or have done things better than me, and then I freak out and throw a pity party and think I’m the worst mother ever and leave it at that, well then I’m letting insecurity make me miserable. And that will probably make my children miserable too.

Or if I feel insecure when looking at how good another mom is and blame that on her, as in, “OMG, I can’t believe Fancy Friend made all that delicious food! Now my kids are going to think they should get a meal like that every day. She is soooo inconsiderate. And I know she was just trying to make me feel like a loser after I only made mac-n-cheese. What a jerk. My kids are going to think she’s a better mom than me. We are never coming here again.” Well. That just wouldn’t be very beneficial to anyone.

So instead, what I learned from my little introspective journey into the Mom Comparison Game is that I should be grateful for the fact that I have so many wonderful moms around me. I learn from other moms every day, as well as from my own experiences. I have decades of mothering experience in those around me. I choose to think of it as an awesome foundation, rather than as something that makes me feel small in my short little four years of motherhood.

I think that helps me to be a good mom and to continue becoming a better mom all the time.

I’m still not likely to bake from scratch for play dates though.

P.S. My sweet Lass is turning 3 on Saturday. I am throwing my first ever birthday party at our home, with other kids and games and stuff. I’m terrified. So I will be spending the next 48 hours going totally overboard with crafting and organizing The Most-Fun-Horse-Themed-Birthday-Party-Ever-for-a-Girl-Who-Now-Wants-an-Okapi-Party. Yes, you read that right.

So I won’t be posting tomorrow. I will share the details of the party ASAP though. It’s gonna be good.

Still Dirty, Still Weird, Still Fun

Posted on August 9, 2013April 4, 2014 by Amy

Linking up with Conversion Diary again.

1. Went to the Dirty Weird Zoo yesterday. It just wouldn’t be summer without a visit to the DWZ.

When we visited last year my girls were timid about feeding the animals, and Lass just wouldn’t do it at all.

Not so this year.

We ran out of bread, but they were determined to feed grass to the cows.

Still dirty and weird. I just love that place.

2. What do you do if someone rings your doorbell at 9:30 at night, when your husband is working nights, and you know that the night before your garage door had accidentally been left open all night?

Do you assume a murderer has come for you (and politely rung your doorbell)? Turn off all the lights inside? Turn on all the lights outside? Turn on your alarm system?

Do you go to your garage door after realizing there’s no one at your front door (which you can see through) and yell, “Who is it??” “WHO IS IT?!”

Do you look around for a weapon and then grab your husband’s hunting knife and stalk around the house looking out all the windows?

No?

Yeah, me neither.

But if I did do all that stuff I would have felt kind of silly when I called my husband to double check that the garage doors were all closed when he left, and realized that my mysterious doorbell-ringer was probably one of the neighborhood kids messing around.

If I hadn’t been terrified to open my door I would have gone out there and rung those kids’ necks! I mean, if all that had actually happened, of course.

3. Okay. Obviously, #2 is an account of exactly what I did last night when my doorbell rang shortly after my husband had left for work. Since there was no one at my front door (little jerk ran away!) and I couldn’t see through the door into the garage (note to self to have peephole in new house), I was convinced that someone was lurking in my garage, waiting for me to open the door so he could murder me. I kept the hunting knife on the chair next to me for the rest of the night, even though after talking to my husband and then hearing kids getting up to some foolishness outside, I knew that our garage doors were securely closed and that said kids were responsible for my panic. Or at least for setting it in motion. I guess I can’t blame them for my craziness.

I don’t know why I automatically go into extreme-plan-to-confront-crazed-killer mode whenever there is the slightest indication of shady business going on.

Like the other day when a guy came to deliver something for my husband. I had forgotten he was coming, and he wasn’t wearing an obvious uniform. So in my mind all I saw was a strange man at my door with no business there. I quickly assessed the situation, considered how quickly I could press the panic button on my alarm panel, looked for an easily reachable weapon (a heavy vase was the closest thing I saw), thought of a few different ways I could inflict pain with my hands/knees/feet, and then cautiously opened the door a tiny crack with my foot wedged behind it to hopefully impede an attempt at forced entry. Yes. I do know this is crazy.

Or the time my husband and I were in the drive through of Starbucks after church and a girl, who was probably around 20-ish and all of maybe 110 lbs, started walking along the side of our car. She was a little close for (my) comfort so I automatically scanned to be sure the car doors were locked, looked for the best way for my husband to drive the car out of the danger lane, and thought about how I would punch her in the nose and the put my knee into her face if she tried to carjack us.

I don’t mean to come up with this stuff. I’m not at all a violent person. It just happens automatically. I don’t know if it’s because I grew up just outside Detroit in the days when carjacking became a thing. Or because I read a few too many true-crime novels in my early 20s. Or because I worked in prisons for several years. Probably it’s all those things combined, plus a hyper-protective don’t-you-even-think-you’re-going-to-mess-with-my-kids Mama-Bear instinct. Plus a little bit of insanity for good measure.

It’s what I do.

4. We got the first draft of the plans for our new house yesterday. We have a few changes to make, but I’m very happy with the initial drawings.

5. I have some serious stroller envy.

Super Friend has all the good stuff. She brought this double jogger today for both of our stroller-size littles to ride in:

I’ve never had a jogging stroller, because I have had a total of zero interest in jogging since running my last marathon in 2008. But I want it.

Super Friend is also loaning us her Super Stroller again. We used it for our trip to Disney World, and though I carried sis the whole time it is capable of carrying all three girls.

She’s letting us take it on our trip to the Iowa State Fair next week. I need to get one of these:

6. I don’t think there’s any worse feeling in the world than needing to take your child to the emergency room to assess a potentially serious health threat.

I got KFC for dinner last night, because we had to eat quickly between a doctor’s appointment and our Baptism class. As dinner was just getting started I noticed that Lass had bitten off the end of her chicken drumstick and swallowed it. The remaining end was pretty jagged looking so hubby called the ER and they told us to bring her in for X-rays. If they saw the chunk of or shards of bone in her stomach they would have to do a procedure to try to get it out.

Well, I was freaking out the whole way to the hospital, knowing they were going to see this thing in her stomach, because I knew she had swallowed it and praying that it had not yet moved into her duodenum or beyond.

We got to the hospital, got the X-rays, and found…

Nothing.

(She got that ostrich toy after her X-ray.)

Nothing was visible in her stomach or further along her digestive tract. I texted my babysitter and had her look around for the piece of bone, thinking that maybe she had just spit it out.

Nothing.

The mystery was solved when we got home. Hubby picked up another piece of chicken and chomped the end off. He proceeded to chew it right up like nothing. It was super soft and broke right up in his mouth. He had me try it with yet another drumstick. Yeah, I bit right through that bone. And then proceeded to gag and spit it right out. It was disgusting, and I have a thing about textures.

Apparently my middle child doesn’t. I’m so relieved she’s okay.

7. Today Super Friend and I are driving an hour to attend a Scholastic Warehouse Sale. With only one child (her littlest). Do I need to tell you that I’m way more excited about uninterrupted Mommy Friend time than about the book sale? No. I don’t. But the book sale should be good too.

Hoping you have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend. We’re heading to the Farm today after my Mommy date.

The Zoo

Posted on August 1, 2013 by Amy

We went to the zoo today with our friends.

We’re talking about the letter Z is for Zoo this week in school, so what a perfect opportunity to take a fun field trip to a small local zoo? Plus “Go to the Zoo” is on our summer list, so we had to go.

I had never been to this local zoo before. In years past, we’ve gone to the place I fondly refer to as the Dirty Weird Zoo, which is closer to our house (plans to go there next week). This little zoo was delightful (except for a few stinky moments, unavoidable at small “up close” zoos).

I just loved how much the girls enjoyed seeing the animals and hearing all the smart things they had to say about them.

One of the first animals we saw was this guy:

I said, “Hm, is that a meerkat?”

Miss said, “No Mama, that’s a ring-tailed lemur.”

Well.

Though there were many, many really cool animals to see, one of the favorites was this pond with big bright orange fish (maybe koi?):

When we went to the Nature Center with my Mom a few weeks ago, Lass had no interest in stopping to look at the various animals. She just kept saying “Keep. Walking!” She wanted to get to see the opossum that day I think. Today she kept asking to go back to see the fish. Over and over and over.

Similarly, her sister kept saying, “Mama I want to save my allowance for: insert every single type of animal we saw today here”. The whole time we were there. My girls are nothing if not consistent/persistent.

Anyway, the fish were a big hit.

They both said they really enjoyed seeing the zebra and the baby giraffe too.

But they didn’t seem nearly as excited about those as they were about the bird house (Ew).

They all loved it, but the bird house totally grosses me out.

As does the petting zoo, which was also a huge hit amongst the short crowd.

I will say that, though I usually don’t much care for the petting zoo, this one wasn’t too bad. The animals were relatively clean and all very docile. Aside from one near disaster involving a two-year-old trying to manage a bunny while the staff member looked on and freaked out but didn’t really help, it was quite nice.

The other favorite with the kids was the playground.

It was a heck of a playground, with tons of huge play structures and several of these amazing merry-go-round things:

I loved these things. The merry-go-round was my favorite playground staple when I was a kid (though we never had one as cool as these!), followed closely by the teeter totter.

Considering that there are no merry-go-rounds or teeter totters to be found on playgrounds anymore, I was really excited for my girls to get to enjoy these.

My other favorites of the day?

This guy, who sat right up at the fence and made funny faces at us:

And this next little guy, my fave for two reasons:

1. Obviously he is adorable.

2. Several months ago Miss told my Mother-in-law that she wanted to look on the computer for a picture of a fennec fox. I had never heard of this type of fox, but my MIL obliged, and I walked into the office at the Farm to see her and Miss scrolling through photos of little critters that look just like this:

A fennec fox.

I was more excited to see him than Miss seemed to be. Apparently she’s so over the fennec fox.

And I was just thrilled to see this hummingbird up close and personal.

Hummingbirds amaze me. They almost never stop moving and yet they always look perky and graceful at the same time. Don’t they ever get tired?? I kind of feel like I’m a hummingbird wannabe some days.

Today was a great day.

Super Friends

Posted on July 28, 2013July 28, 2013 by Amy

Super Friend and her family came over last night. The kids ran and jumped and explored and chased. We had a cookout and made s’mores. Then the kids got into jammies and watched 3 Veggie Tales movies while the grown ups sat outside around a fire. It was so nice.

I got to thinking this morning how important friends are, and how lucky I have been to have had many true friends during the various stages in my life. True friends who remain so to this day, in spite of many miles between us and different life circumstances.

I have Cousin, who was my original BFF. I have a few friends from high school with whom I’m still in touch. I have one dear friend from college, a few from graduate school, and one from internship. And of course I have stayed close with some special women from my years in North Carolina. I even have a few good online friends.

All of these friends have been so important and have brought richness to my life. They still do.

But since having my kids I have learned about the absolute necessity of having a Mom Friend. Not just friends who are moms, but at least one friend who is at a similar stage in the journey that is motherhood, and who is nearby so that we can get together regularly to share it.

Seriously. Every mom needs this.

I cherish all of my friends. But at this point in my life, I really couldn’t do without a Mom Friend. I think maybe for some people this role would be filled by a sister or other nearby family member. I don’t have those. So of course for me, the Mom Friend is Super Friend.

I do have several other good Mom Friends in town now, though I don’t get together with them as often or know them quite as well as Super Friend.

I mean, she’s Super Friend.

There is a certain comfort that comes with similarity and familiarity in a good friend.

Super Friend and I have some similarity. We both have multiple young children close in age (between us we have seven under six). We have similar values and strategies for parenting. We enjoy some of the same things, like reading a good book, visiting over coffee and/or ice cream (usually and), and watching our kids play together.

A while ago I read this article about how making Mom Friends is like dating. Basically it goes like this: First base, talking while your kids are in activities together. Second base, getting together with kids at a park (or other neutral ground) for a play date. Third base, having a play date at one of your houses. Fourth base, hanging out without the kids.

When I read the article I laughed and sent it to Super Friend. We are so beyond Fourth base.

Yes, there is something beyond Fourth base for Mom Friends. I guess it’s kind of like sisterhood, because Super Friend and I have a great familiarity too. It’s a kind of knowing that comes from being in a similar place in life and spending quality time together.

When we have play dates at each other’s houses we seamlessly work together to care for seven small children, getting lunches, soothing babies, wiping faces, cleaning spills… All while barely even needing to speak. It doesn’t matter at whose house we are or whose kid needs something. We know, so we do. (I’ve written some about this before here).

If I’ve had a crappy morning trying to get my kids out the door to get Miss to camp on time, I can glance at Super Friend during drop off, and she just gives me this look. She knows from looking at me exactly how my morning has been. And I know she knows. And that makes it just a little bit better.

We can sympathize and then laugh together about the insanity that is sometimes mothering small children (like running through a furniture store with diarrhea dripping from your two year old onto the floor and all over your clothes, while your husband runs behind cleaning up the floor and ends up using all but two of the wipes… um, one for the kid, one for the mom??). We can give advice without sounding judge-y. We help each other whenever we are able.

I wish this kind of friendship for every mom.

When I was a new mom, I had some good friends (still have them), but no one living near enough to me to be The Mom Friend. So I know how it is to be a new mom without a friend like this.

Super Friend has been a huge blessing in my life.

And even more than having the great fortune of having my own treasured friend, I am thrilled that my girls have made some truly special friends in her kids.

Because like all moms I want my girls to have good friendships with good kids.

Whether or not our kids remain close (and I hope they do!), I am comforted by knowing that my girls will begin learning about good friendships with Super Friend’s Super Kids.

Motherhood and Miscellany

Category: Friends