JANUARY
Failed art project
Head banging to AC/DC
FEBRUARY
Nine
MARCH
Dinner by herself
Six
APRIL
Dressed up by sisters
Multitasking
MAY
May crowning
JUNE
Two
Summer
JULY
“Is that a lion?”
Road trip!
Can you spot the waterfall?
AUGUST
Be still my beating heart
Eight
“Nice baby goat”
First day
SEPTEMBER
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
Science experiment
DECEMBER
Happy New Year!
We just took a family vacation to South Dakota. It was so super fun that I’m determined to over share about document it here, even though it has taken me three days so far to do so. My husband keeps gently reminding me that I have a lot more family memories recorded from when the girls were little and very few for these baby/toddler years with the boys. He likes that I blog so that we have something to look back on. I like looking back on the old posts too, so here are our fun tales of our recent trip (which might even be helpful to someone else who might be planning a trip to SD??).
We decided on the last week of September to go on vacation, because I cannot stand crowds, and I knew the tourist rush would be over with all the kids having gone back to school. I think I’ve told you all before that one of my favorite things about homeschooling is that it allows me to wait until all the kids have gone back to school to take my kids to the places that everyone else goes to in the summer and on weekends. You won’t find us in a museum on a Saturday (or in a grocery store for that matter)! As a result, there were a few things that we couldn’t do because of being “out of season,” but nothing crucial, and nothing that would be worth braving the crowds (and the heat) mid-summer. I wanted a slow-paced vacation so we could focus on our family and not be stressed. My husband’s and my mantra for the trip was, “We aren’t in a hurry.” For us, it was absolutely worth it to miss out on a few attractions in order to also miss out on the crowds and hustle.
We stayed in Hill City at the High Country Guest Ranch, which was just lovely. I rented a little three bedroom cabin, which was a tiny bit cramped , but mostly perfect for our family. There was room for our kids to run around outside and they loved playing around a little stream that ran right behind our cabin (and the horses right outside were a nice touch too).
I found Hill City to be a great central location, not very far from any of the things that we wanted to do, except Wall Drug/Badlands, and with a very cool downtown area.
Given that we were a bit far from Wall and the Badlands, I had a plan in place that we would go to the Latin Mass on Sunday in Rapid City and then continue on over to Wall Drug and eat lunch/get donuts before heading down to do some light hiking in the Badlands. However, we ended up stopping at Wall Drug on the way to our cabin on Saturday night, because passing Wall happened to coincide with dinner time during our drive.
Wall Drug was weird and fun and a nice way to break up the drive towards the end. But it wasn’t something we felt the need to do twice, so we decided not to go back to Wall on Sunday but to go hiking around Lake Sylvan instead.
Things actually played out like a comedy of errors that afternoon, but we managed to have fun anyway. To start with, I made sure that all the girls brought a change of clothes and shoes for after Mass and then ended up forgetting my own comfy shoes for hiking. By the time we finished having lunch, stopping at Walmart for some groceries, and stopping back at the cabin to put groceries in the fridge and grab my shoes, it was getting a bit late in the afternoon. Recently-potty-trained Bubba had fallen asleep in the car, and though he usually does well to avoid accidents when awake, he’s not so reliable when sleeping. So we got to the lake only to find out that he had peed in his seat, and while I had a change of underwear for him, somehow I neglected to bring a change of pants.
Then when getting changed in the van, my husband realized that he had also forgotten his walking shoes. So he put his dress shoes back on, Bubba put his pee-pee-pants back on, we loaded the boys in the stroller and began to walk, only to find out that the trail quickly got too steep and rugged for our stroller. We rolled it over to the side, I put Brother in the Ergo, my husband carried Bubba, the girls climbed alllll the rocks, Lake Sylvan was gorgeous, and everything seemed fine.
And then, inexplicably, Bubba peed all over my husband while being carried up the trail. I have no idea where that came from, as he has never had an accident like that before. Maybe he figured it was fair game since his pants were wet anyway?? I don’t know.
But since he and my husband were soaked in urine, we decided to abort the hiking plan and just go back down to the beach for the kids to play in the water. This seemed to salvage the afternoon, as the girls made a new friend and played happily with her, while Bubba threw mud into the lake and got his pants even more wet. My husband hid out a little distance away on the grassy shore with Brother, his dress shoes/white socks combo, and his pee shirt.
We made it home in time for my husband to grill hotdogs (after changing his shirt) and the kids to play (fairly) peacefully until dinner, which was a lovely way to end day one.
All of the weather forecasts I saw leading up to the trip said that Monday was supposed to be rainy, so my plan for that day was to take the kids to the Museum @ Black Hills Institute so they could see all the dinosaur skeletons (namely Stan the T.Rex). This was one thing my kids seemed to be looking forward to more than any other, so it had to happen. The Institute did not disappoint.
Happily, it was right in downtown Hill City and the weather was actually much nicer than it had been predicted to be. So after we spent lots of time looking at all the skeletons, fossils, and other interesting artifacts, we took a nice walk downtown. We intended to go to the South Dakota State Railroad Museum, took a very circuitous route to get there, and serendipitously ended up at a neat little park along the way. We did eventually make our way to the SDSRM and then to an amazing lunch before managing to get back to the cabin in time for naps (for both boys and me!!), which was a huge bonus.
In the caboose at the SDSRM
There was lots of playing outside in the afternoon, more hotdog grilling for dinner, and some game time with the new board game we bought at Walmart the day before. (Catan – it’s SO FUN!!) Day two was a very easy, low-key day.
But day three was my favorite. My plan was to go to Mt. Rushmore and do gold/gem panning on the same day, since both are located in Keystone. In fact you could see Mt. Rushmore from the gold mine place, so it was super convenient.
We started the morning with a gold mine tour at Big Thunder Gold Mine. This lasted about an hour and was very interesting. The tour guide did a great job and did not seem phased at all that my two-year-old was being a bit noisy at times during his presentation.
The same guy set us up for our gold and gem panning experiences, which my girls were super excited about. Gold panning was a lot more tricky, and he really helped the girls a lot to find their little bits of gold. I was really pleased with the experience at Big Thunder and would highly recommend it. My girls especially enjoyed the gem panning, which was very easy and fun for them.
Gold panning (you can just see Mt. Rushmore in the upper right of the photo)
Gem panning was much easier
After the gold mine experience we went out for lunch in downtown Keystone and then headed for Mt. Rushmore. It was such a cool experience to actually see this huge monument in person. We were only able to walk part of the Presidential Trail, because some of it was closed, but it was still worth it to get as close as possible.
One part of the monument that I never paid attention to in photos but that was interesting to see close up was the pile of rubble spread out all down the side of the mountain where it fell after being blasted off. You could see where the holes had been drilled for the dynamite to be inserted.
We were able to learn a lot more about the creation of the monument than I ever knew, including why each of the four chosen presidents was selected (chronologically in a nutshell: foundation, expansion, preservation, development). The girls enjoyed climbing the rocks up the side of the trail as we walked back to the information center area. Even though it was chilly, we treated ourselves in the ice cream shop for a perfect way to finish up the afternoon.
The last day was a tiny bit of a failure, but not too bad, because we were all tired and probably needed to have an extra slow day anyway. My girls wanted to go the the Black Hills Caverns, which I thought looked like it would be fun for them, and the best way for them to experience a cave tour in the area (the other caves would not have been doable with the boys). It’s in Rapid City, so we planned to make a day trip and include some other fairly quick stops up that way, such as Reptile Gardens and a new-ish Dinosaur Museum next to Reptile Gardens.
Since Reptile Gardens and the Dino Museum are on the road to Rapid City, we stopped there first before going to the caverns. Oddly, I think the two favorite things of the morning were the bird show at Reptile Gardens and the mirror maze at the Dinosaur Museum.
As we got ready to head to the caverns after these stops, I called and found out that they are only open on the weekends during September, although their website says in one place that tours are offered daily May through September (the actual calendar page of the website shows the correct information, but I didn’t see that). So, my mistake for not researching the hours better, and we couldn’t do this one.
This turned out to be okay, since my girls mostly wanted to have a chance to go back to the Black Hills Institute again, which we did while the boys were napping.
We got to spend a lot more time looking at the exhibits, they all finished picking out their souvenirs for the trip, I got a few early dinosaur Christmas presents for Bubba, we treated ourselves and got a gift for my parents at a local sweet shop, and got home for more game-playing (Taboo and Catan) and relaxation in the evening.
There were lots of things that we just couldn’t fit into a four-day trip, but the one thing we felt truly bummed that we missed was the Badlands. It was over an hour to drive out there, and we did not make the trip during our stay. However, we had to drive right north of the area on our way home, and decided to go ahead and take the scenic drive through the national park so we could at least see it before heading on home. It was worth the time it added to our drive for sure, and if we ever go back, I absolutely want to make a point to take a day to spend there exploring it more.
Overall, the trip was a wonderful success. We all had a lot of fun and didn’t get stressed out or overly exhausted from doing too much. I think the key to this for our family was to go and do activities mostly in the mornings, get lunch out somewhere, and then go back to our cabin for playing/resting and an easy dinner in. And also crucial was that my husband and I made the above-mentioned point of reminding each other before and several times during the trip that we were on vacation, and we absolutely did not have to be in a hurry to get anywhere. My favorite part of the trip was actually playing games together every evening (seriously, check out the game Catan).
A close second in the favorites list was enjoying lunch out together each day. We tried some really great, interesting new foods, went to fun restaurants, and enjoyed this time together a lot. There was only one restaurant that we went to for lunch that I didn’t think was all that great, and it was one that I hadn’t looked into ahead of time or had recommended to me. Here’s a quick run-down of the restaurants:
Stonewalls Kitchen in Rapid City – We went here for lunch after Mass on Sunday, and it turned out they were still selling breakfast. Breakfast is my favorite, so this was good news. The food was wonderful, and the highlight of the meal was their serve-yourself coffee bar, where Miss and Lass tried decaf coffee for the first time ever, doctoring it all up with cream and sweetener and cinnamon (??) to their liking.
Alpine Inn in Hill City – This was our lunch destination on Monday. The food was phenomenal. Everyone tried something new (Monte Cristo sandwiches, spaetzle, etc.) and it was all so, so good. Plus the dessert was amazing. I’m not sure about the dinner experience, as they seem to only have two items on their dinner menu (we tried to get takeout from there on Wednesday evening so we could enjoy our lunch favorites again and couldn’t get them!), but the lunch was well worth the stop.
Ruby House in Keystone – This is a restaurant that is said to have been a former “house of ill repute,” though if you look on the website, the history does not include this in its story. It does have interesting antique decor and a good menu, and the girls enjoyed being able to get “fancy” drinks there.
Tally’s Silver Spoon in Rapid City – This place is very highly rated and the food was fine (though it seemed like they were trying too hard to be “edgy” with some of the items). I didn’t really enjoy our lunch here because the restaurant is not well-suited to accommodate a large-ish family. They sat us at a huge round table right by the kitchen/food prep area in the back. The table was large enough for 10-12 people, so we only sat around one side of it, and couldn’t really have a conversation with each other very well. Then an older couple came in and got seated at the table with us, which was weird. So, while I can’t say that I wouldn’t recommend this place, if you have more than 4 people in your family/party, just be aware it isn’t well set up to handle you.
And that’s it.
I realized when writing this that this was the first vacation what we have been on as just our little family since we went to Arizona when Lass was six months old (or maybe we could count a short, overnight stay at Disney when Miss turned four, though that was part of a larger family-visiting trip in Florida). We have traveled a lot to visit family, for various family functions, and for big family reunions (we went to Steamboat Springs, CO this summer with my husband’s whole family). I have also taken the kids plenty of places by myself when my husband has been working. But this type of straight-up vacation (not visiting) just for our family hasn’t happened much at all, and certainly not in recent years.
We have learned that this type of trip is priceless. The time spent together as a family, just me and my husband with our five kids, making memories, is something we will always hold dear. Experiences like these have just climbed to the top of our list of travel priorities (though we will always make time for visiting family too).
According to my girls, our next trip will be to Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas. Let the planning begin…
In October, I went out of town for a weekend by myself. My husband watched the kids, and I booked a room in a lovely hotel in Milwaukee for a little bit of a vacation before the arrival of our little guy. I spent the weekend mostly reading, sleeping, and eating delicious food while it was still hot.
The other thing I made sure to be able to do while in Milwaukee was to attend my first ever Latin Mass. We do not live near a church that offers a Latin Mass, and my husband and I had been talking about trying to go to one for quite some time (the closest one to us is an hour away). I was excited to have an opportunity to attend one in Milwaukee, at a parish run by the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest.
I had no idea what was going on for most of the Mass, but I loved it. It was beautiful and reverent and kind of indescribable if you’ve never seen it in person.
After I attended the Mass in Latin, my husband and I tried a few times to plan a trip to the closest Latin Mass parish in our diocese, also run by ICKSP, but various circumstances (i.e. sick kids) got in the way of us making the trip.
In the meantime, we continued to try to learn more about the extraordinary form of the Mass. While perusing the internet on the topic, my husband came across some information about the traditional form of Baptism.
He sent me a link about it and casually mentioned that maybe we should think about having the baby baptized in the Latin Rite. I was hesitant at first. I thought it would be strange and confusing for us to have our baby baptized in a language we don’t understand. But I looked into it anyway and found that I loved the wording of the old rite. It is so much more beautiful and powerful than the newer version.
I liked it so much better that I asked our regular parish priest if he could do the old rite at our current parish but in English. He is a wonderful priest, and he actually looked into this for me, but said that the person in charge of such things from our diocese told him that if we wanted to have the old wording of the sacrament, it had to be done in Latin and done at the one Latin parish that we have in our diocese.
So, I decided to call the Latin parish and find out if it would be possible for us to have our son baptized there, even though we weren’t members. I called on a Thursday evening, expecting to leave a message for a secretary and get a call back the next day. I got a recorded message saying that the secretary is only in the office on Tuesdays, which I thought was kind of fantastic in a world of huge modern parishes with tons of full time staff members. I left a message and was shocked to receive a call back within about ten minutes from the priest! He had a heavy French accent, and was completely delightful, and told me that of course he would be happy to baptize our son, and asked if we could meet with him after Mass that weekend.
At this point, we still hadn’t managed to make it to a Mass in Latin as a family, but I told him that yes, we would meet with him, so that we would be forced to just buck up and go.
And we did. And we have never looked back.
That was the first Sunday of Advent. We have driven over an hour to that parish almost every weekend since then. We even took our girls to the midnight Mass there on Christmas Eve.
And yes, we did have our son baptized there. And it was amazing.
The priest started the Baptism outside the doors to the sanctuary, saying that this was because our son was not yet a member of our Faith. He informed us that our son is a little saint on earth, since Baptism washes away original sin, and he is too young to commit any actual sin yet.
Then he began. The words he spoke, some in English, some in Latin, were beautiful. The gestures and symbolism were so moving. There were some parts of the old rite, like when the priest breathes on the catechumen three times in the form of a cross, or when he puts a bit of salt in the catechumen’s mouth, that I thought might be weird. But these were not strange at all. In fact, they felt very laden with history and meaning and beauty.
(You can read the whole Rite of Baptism here, in Latin and English, side by side. The link also has the newer rite at the bottom for comparison if you’re curious).
After we all went into the nave, the intense feeling of the tradition and holiness in the rite continued. The priest said a prayer of exorcism, which was part of the reason we wanted to have the Latin Rite instead of the newer, watered-down version. I think the only mention of Satan in my Baptism or that of my other children was when the priest asked if we reject him, and we said, “I do.” This renunciation is present in the old rite as well, along with several other explicit prayers of exorcism. I especially liked when the priest said, “And this sign of the holy Cross, which we make upon his forehead, do thou, accursed devil, never dare to violate.”
Like placing a shield on our baby. The biggest, strongest, most impenetrable shield possible, the Cross.
The rest of the Baptism continued in a manner fairly similar to the Baptisms I have observed before. The usual symbols and sacramentals were there. The water, the fire, the white garment, the oil. But there was so much more.
After the Baptism Rite itself, my husband and I were surprised that the priest instructed us to say an act of consecration to Mary in front of the nativity. He pulled the kneeler over, and we knelt to say one of the most beautiful prayers I have ever said (he gave it to us to read). At several points during this part, I got a bit choked up as I prayed the words dedicating my little son to our Blessed Mother.
It was the perfect ending to a truly sublime sacrament.
Welcome to the Church, sweet boy.
A couple of days ago I got home from a little road trip/field trip I took with the kids. I wanted to take them to Pepin, WI to visit the first home of Laura Ingalls Wilder and the museum located in the nearest town to where she spent the first 4-5 years of her life. I was a huge fan of the Little House books and television series as a kid, and I have read (listened to) “Little House in the Big Woods” and half of “Little House on the Prairie” with my kids so far. This year we’re studying American history, so it seemed like a natural time to take this trip with them.
After checking out the town of Pepin online, I realized that there wasn’t much to do there besides the museum, and wasn’t really anyplace to stay there that would accommodate my crew (when I take these trips with them I always insist on hotels that have suites with separate bedrooms, so I don’t have to go to bed at 8:00 with my kids). So I decided to stay in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, which is about an hour from Pepin, has a lovely hotel with two bedroom suites and a pool, and has a children’s museum downtown. Voila. Trip planned.
I’m pretty sure the hotel pool is always the favorite part of our trips
Three girls in their own bedroom = happy traveling mama
This is not the first time that I’ve taken a trip like this with my kids, though it was the first time since Bubba was born. You can check out our other trips here: Chicago, Louisville, and Minneapolis/St. Paul. Every time I take a trip like this, I’m amazed by how much people comment on my family. Especially during the MSP and this trip (maybe because I was visibly pregnant for both), people have made so many comments to me about my family, my kids, my perceived bravery in taking trips with my kids, etc.
Eau Claire has a great children’s museum, and it turned out to be perfect for a trip with Bubba, because he could get out of his stroller and have fun
One type of comment that comes up a lot, even when I’m just out and about (not traveling) with the kiddos is the family size comment. My girls are pretty close in age, so even when I only had the three of them I used to get lots of “You’ve got your hands full!” and similar statements from strangers. But when I was pregnant with Bubba, and especially now that I’m pregnant again, the comments go to the next level. “Wow! FIVE KIDS?! You’re brave/crazy/busy, etc.” “Are they all yours?!” “That’s a lot of kids!” “Don’t you know what causes that?!” “Better you than me!” And so on.
At some point, I realized that lots of people really do think I’m crazy or even irresponsible to have three, then four, now five kids. My family isn’t even that huge compared to some I know, but I still feel like some people view me and my children as some sort of weird freak show.
I decided a while back that perhaps I needed to make a conscious effort to try to be a positive example of “it’s-okay-to-have-several-kids-it-won’t-ruin-your-life-or-make-you-crazy-I-swear.” A large segment of today’s society seems to view people with large families negatively, and some people seem to even view kids as a big burden rather than as a blessing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had other women say to me, “You’re crazy. I have two (or one, or three, or whatever the number) and there is NO WAY I’d have any more,” or something along those lines. People also seem to be quite perplexed when they ask me if we’re “done” now (I got a lot of this after having Bubba, whom people perceived as our “coveted boy”) and I say, “Well, I don’t know. We’ll see what God has planned for us, I guess.” Many (most?) people can’t seem to wrap their minds around the fact that we might actually be willing to have more kids.
As a result of the reactions I have had from some people, I feel like I have to always put my best foot forward to show that a big family isn’t a bad thing. So I try to not look frumpy when I go out in public with my kids (I do still sometimes wear my yoga pants, though not as often). I used to go out without makeup and with messy hair all the time when I was in college or grad school. Now? I feel like that would just be somehow validating the viewpoint of some people that having more than a certain number of kids (usually one or two) ruins people, makes them stop taking care of themselves, makes then unable to parent as effectively, is harmful to the kids who don’t get as much attention, etc., etc. Furthermore, as a general rule, I try to always keep my cool with my kids and not lose my temper, but I feel even more pressure to be a “model mom” when I’m in public with all my kids. I worry that if I have a moment of weakness and snap at my kids or something, people will think it’s because I have too many kids, not because I’m a normal human who makes mistakes and is sometimes impatient.
Their favorite part of the museum was crawling around inside this digestive system model. Ew.
I should say that there have been many people who have made very wonderful, kind comments to me about my children and my family. I know of many people who have smaller families and would love to have more children but have not been able to. I don’t believe that all people with smaller families are judging me and mine (and I would like to be very clear that this post is not a judgment of people with smaller families). I know that not all people view large families in a negative way. But I’ve had enough experience of the judgmental and unkind people, both in person and through the experiences of people I know or things I have heard and read from such people, that I can’t help but feel like I have to try extra hard to show what a beautiful blessing a large family really is.
As I’m typing this, I can hear my three daughters downstairs playing with each other. They are the best of friends, and I know that they are so, so blessed to have each other.
I know this because I don’t have a sister (and I always wished I did), so I’ve never had that one friend who was with me, no matter what, throughout my whole life (though I do have my Super Friend, who is very much like a sister). And I know this because I’ve seen what wonderful relationships sisters can have (my Mom and Auntie are an example that come to mind right away, but I can think of many others). I think of my husband’s great relationships with his brothers, and I’m so happy that my boys will have each other too. I know how joyous it is to get together with a large family of people who have close relationships, and I pray that my children will always remain close to each other and support each other no matter what.
I know that my large(ish) family is a true blessing. I know that all children are blessings, whether they are in small families or huge ones or medium-sized ones. I know that I will continue to try my best to be an example of how great it is to have more than the culturally acceptable number of children (and I also know that I will sometimes fail at this miserably!).
And I’m sure I will continue to get comments from strangers about the size of my family. I just pray that those strangers will try to look past the simple number of children I have and see the joy they bring to each other and to me.
I know I haven’t blogged in a really long time. I’m just popping in to give a quick update on life with four.
I am in such baby heaven these days.
Baby number four is awesome.
My girls are much older now than the last time I had a little baby, and it is so much easier to have four kids seven and under than it was to have three girls under four. My girls can do so many things for themselves that they couldn’t do when last I cared for an infant. They get themselves dressed. They can get their own breakfasts and brush their own teeth. Miss does her own hair.
I heard once that once your oldest child gets to be about six or seven years old, life suddenly becomes much easier. My oldest two are six and seven, and this is so true.
All the girls do so much to help out and love taking care of their brother.
Miss and Lass clean bathrooms and vacuum stairs. Sis wipes baseboards and scrubs toilets. They feed the dogs and clean their rooms and put their laundry away.
And even when they aren’t doing something to actively help me, they’re usually downstairs playing with each other and not needing me at all. Which is awesome and sad at the same time, I suppose, but more awesome most of the time.
As for Baby Boy, he just does his thing. He’s a happy baby and doesn’t fuss about being along for the ride when we’re out and about taking his sisters to various activities in the afternoons. School can be a bit tricky, but he usually naps for a at least a little while when we do school in the mornings.
He’s very easygoing.
And a major thing that I’ve noticed this time around is that I’m a lot more easygoing about him too.
I don’t get uptight if he’s going to miss his afternoon nap. He really doesn’t have a set afternoon nap, because we are typically away from home 2-3 afternoons per week at least. It’s just the way things are so we roll with it.
I don’t worry about how often he’s eating, or how long it’s been between his feedings, or if he’s on a good eating/sleeping schedule (he’s not).
I also don’t stress that he isn’t sleeping through the night. All of my girls were much better sleepers than he is. They all slept through the night pretty consistently by this point in their babyhoods. Baby Boy has slept through the night a grand total of one time.
And you know what? I kind of don’t really even care. Of course I’m tired, after waking up 1-3 times per night for the past 4.5 months, but I’m not terribly bothered by it. Recently I said to my husband, “Meh. He’ll sleep through the night one of these days.” And he will. And I’m about as concerned about it as that sounds.
I’m so thankful to have another little baby to snuggle and love on, I’m just trying to soak it up and not wish it away. One day last week he fell asleep while I was nursing him on the couch. Twice in one day. He did it again today. And each time I just stayed right where I was and let him sleep. And I watched him and marveled at him. I do that a lot.
Life with four is so good.
We’re two months into this four-kid gig. It’s pretty wonderful and a little crazy. I had gotten kind of used to sleeping through the night, walking freely (sans baby carrier and diaper bag), not changing diapers, not even wiping butts anymore! But this little one makes all the sleep deprivation and everything else so, so worth it.
His sisters dote on him, and that’s a big change. The last time I had a newborn, my oldest was three. It’s a bit easier this time around since the girls are independent in many ways and love to help with their brother.
And speaking of the girls, apparently having a baby boy after three girls brings on lots of comments from strangers. Most are well-meaning and seem genuinely thrilled to see our little family. They seem to think it’s great fun that we had a boy after three girls, as if they’re truly happy that we get the joy of having children of both genders.
However, there are always the other comments too. “You finally got a boy!” and “Your husband must be sooo happy to have a boy!” and one man even said, “I had three girls. I didn’t have another because I was afraid it would be another girl.” I usually just smile and say something like, “Yes, we’re so blessed/my husband is happy to have four beautiful children.” And to that man? “We love having girls!” I mean, really? People say this stuff right in front of my daughters! I’d love to shake them (the weird strangers, not my girls) and say, “Please do not assume that all this time we’ve been pining for a boy. We were not trying for a boy. We are beyond thrilled with our son. He is awesome, but our girls are too!”
Bah. End rant.
Anyway.
Life with four kids is really cool.
We’re getting back to normal a bit. New normal, anyway.
^^Sometimes I literally sit and hold him like this for over an hour, happily ignoring the overflowing laundry baskets around me and just basking in his snuggly baby-ness
We’re loving having a sweet baby around. This sweet baby.
I think it was my mother in law who predicted that I might be able to more easily enjoy him and soak up this time with him since the girls are older. She was right. This time around, since I know that this is very likely the last time I’ll get to hold and snuggle and care for my own newborn, I’m trying to savor every bit.
He’s growing a changing so fast, and I’m trying to burn into my memory every little milestone and special moment. The way he snuggles up so perfectly on my shoulder. The way he smells. His first laugh during a bath on St. Anne’s feast day. All. of. it.
We’re doing great here.
Three girls and a boy is perfect.
At the beginning of this month there were two special weekends. At first glance they seem like they were quite different, almost opposite of one another.
One involved a band and lots of beer and a party and lots of people and fireworks.
The other involved Mass and sacraments and many fewer people and a nice quiet dinner.
On closer inspection, however, they were pretty similar in many ways too. They both involved a great deal of joy and celebration and family and friends.
The first of these was a big 4th of July weekend we had, hosting the band and having a party for them to play for some of our local friends. We made multiple beer runs, and there were lots of off-color jokes and loud music, and our friends brought awesome fireworks that we set off in our backyard.
Some of our friends even got up to sing, and there was a contest to see who could come closest to successfully singing “Love Hurts.”
I even sang “Little Willy” while nursing. Definitely a band first.
But beyond the party, there was lots of great family fun.
There was lots of cousin bonding time:
A team effort to make pizza on Sunday:
^ Instructions ^
^ Everyone helping ^
One of my favorite things about the weekend was that the kids organized and got to work on the band equipment still outside after the party and put on a kids’ band show.
They composed their own music, practiced, and played a show for the grown-ups after dinner. It was unexpected and hilarious and such a joy to observe.
It was a fantastic weekend of family and fun.
And the very next weekend was another big celebration for Baby Boy’s baptism.
A smaller group of family came into town for his special day, and it was so lovely and such a blessing to have them here.
Baby Boy’s godparents are his oldest cousins, which I think is just so special and wonderful.
The baptism itself was beautiful and unforgettable.
Two weekends. Boundless love and joy. Priceless memories.
You probably think from the title that this post is going to be about these little cuties:
But not this time.
Today, I want to write about my grown-up peeps. The ladies who have my back, make me laugh, and help me stay sane by just being available, whether in person, via text, phone, or even FB.
I’ve been really blessed lately to have the opportunity to spend some quality time with some of my “girls” recently. Here are some highlights:
In early February, I got to take a trip to Florida with two fabulous friends.
Our equally fabulous husbands watched the kids (all 12 of them!). We got on a plane and flew to Naples for two and a half days (DAYS!) of amazing relaxation, laughter, food, and conversation. For good measure I made sure we started the trip off right with a pregnancy-related trip to the ER. This could be a whole post in and of itself (if I ever get around to writing it), so I won’t go into details here, but:
We managed to have a pretty great time in spite of the awful ER (it was really bad) and the disruption to our plans. That’s Super Friend on the right. And though she and her family have appeared in other posts you haven’t been formally introduced yet to our other dear friend on the left, whom I’ll call “The Extrovert” for blog purposes (I’m the introvert, and Super Friend falls somewhere in between, so we make a great team and have lots of laughs about our personality differences). Yes, she was sitting on a portable hospital toilet. Good sports, these ladies. Look how great they were, after 5+ hours at the first ER, while waiting to get in at our second hospital of the day:
(And BTW, everything is fine with Baby Boy and me).
The hospital trip didn’t stop us from having tons of other fun.
It did however prevent us from going to the beach in the afternoon, so after we had dinner we grabbed coffee and some macaroons (a first for me) and hit the beach at night.
The next day we made up for lost time with a yummy breakfast, a fun meander around downtown Naples, a long walk on the beach, a lovely Mass, and delicious dinner.
There’s just something about time away with great friends that really helps to recharge my soul. These ladies just get me. Even when it’s just for a few hours, it’s so, so important. But for two-and-a-half days!! I talked so much, and laughed so hard, and it. was. awesome.
And as if that wast enough, last weekend, I traveled with my kids to spend some time with some of my family “girls,” my Mom, my Auntie, and my cousin. We were all together for my cousin’s baby shower (some boys were around too, whom I should give some love to as they were wonderful to see as well: my Dad, my Unka, and another cousin).
We stayed up way too late talking. We swapped baby and pregnancy and other stories and “ooh-ed” and “aah-ed” over the cute stuff my cousin received for her baby girl.
^^ My aunt and cousin included my kids in the shower, and they were enthralled ^^
And after my cousin’s shower was over, the other guests were gone, and most everything from the shower was cleaned up, they sat me down and surprised me with tons of gifts of mostly baby boy clothing (which we are sorely lacking). It was my own little surprise mini-shower, and it was so sweet it almost made me cry.
I am humbled by how blessed I am to be surrounded by amazing women. My family, my friends, my tribe. There are more than the ladies mentioned here, some even whom I have never met in person, and I am so grateful for each and every one.
I hope I am modeling to my daughters how to be a part of a community. Our community consists of both wonderful men and women, of course, but there is something special about the bonds between women. Between mothers and sisters. I don’t have biological sisters, but I have my sister-friends, whom I think are just as great (we even share clothes, without the history of fighting over them). I hope that seeing these relationships that I have will help my (little) girls to build their own, and to nurture and cherish them.
I have had family on my mind a lot lately. Family relationships, family blessings, family conflicts…
I have been thinking about how truly blessed I am to have been given this amazing little family I get to share life with every day.
And I’m so thankful for the many people I get to count as members of my family.
^Miss drew these pictures, wrapped them, and gave them to me on Christmas. The top one is our family, the bottom one is my family of origin, my Mom, Dad, brother, and me.
At the same time, I’ve been thinking about how family ties can be strained, stressed, or broken. I’ve had these damaged relationships on my mind a lot lately. I have been praying for those dealing with difficult family relationships, particularly at Christmas, a special family time of year. It breaks my heart to know people who struggle in this way.
Bringing these thoughts and prayers even more into focus, today the Catholic Church observed the feast of the Holy Family — the perfect example of family life. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph provide for us the quintessential model of how we should try to be in our own families. They were kind, loving, charitable, and always focused on how God wanted them to live, rather than on their own plans or selfish desires.
I try my hardest to be this way with all those I love, and I mess it up in various ways every single day. But today’s focus on the Holy Family reminded me that I have help with my efforts. It’s not just me, all on my own, trying to figure this out. I have a model. And I have the ability to pray for the intercession of the Holy Family and for the grace of God to help me live up to this example in my own life.
I also have Mass, and the sacraments, and the Bible.
And the Mass readings for today were especially moving and relevant to my reflections on family relationships of late. The second reading in particular (which in its entirety was Colossians 3:12-21) was beautiful and just perfect for a day focused on family. Here’s the first part of it:
Brothers and sisters:
Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved,
heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,
bearing with one another and forgiving one another,
if one has a grievance against another;
as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.
And over all these put on love,
that is, the bond of perfection.
And let the peace of Christ control your hearts,
the peace into which you were also called in one body.
And be thankful.
This. Right here is what family life is all about. I want this in myself and in my family. I want this for all families. For all relationships. For all human interactions.
I feel like I might need to print this out and carry it around in my pocket. Maybe we all do.
I know not all family conflicts can be fixed simply by remembering that God has called us to be kind and humble, to forgive and love each other. But it sure is a place to start.
I pray daily for my family. I’ll be praying for yours too.
Saturday night, my husband and I went out for a nice dinner, just the two of us. It had been quite a while since we had done so. It felt like a much deserved break from all of the work we had been doing on Friday and Saturday, cutting and grinding meat from the elk he got hunting in September and the hog he butchered a few weeks ago, to get it ready for packaging into sausage.
Heading into the weekend, I had really been looking forward to an evening out with my husband. And I had really been dreading all the work of helping him process the meat. It was a given that I would help him, but I was not looking forward to it, and I figured it would just be something to offer up.
The funny thing is, as much as I had been looking forward to dinner as a break from all the work we were doing (and we did have a nice time), I actually had more fun with my husband when we were working together. I enjoyed the work more than the break!
On Friday we spent a lot of time out on our screened porch cutting meat into pieces small enough to be fed through the meat grinder. It doesn’t sound like a terribly enjoyable task, but it was actually a lot of fun. We had music playing, and we laughed and talked as we worked.
Saturday, he ground the meat and we got the whole family involved with packaging it. We had around 60 pounds of elk meat to grind and package, along with pork that had been made into about 60 pounds of brats, 40 pounds of chorizo, and 30 pounds of Italian sausage. I feel like I spent the whole day repeatedly washing the grinder and the stuffer and the huge plastic meat bins.
But the family was working together to get it done, and it was so much fun. The girls marked all the bags, kept the tape ready to seal the bags, and stacked the filled packages neatly into the bins for taking to the freezer (in fancy dress up, even).
The girls worked with us on the brats yesterday too, and I just loved seeing how proud they were to be able to help.
Sometimes the things that bring me joy and help me to feel fulfilled aren’t the things I expect. The best part of my weekend wasn’t the fancy dinner with my husband on Saturday night. It was the companionship that came from working hard with him on something worthwhile. It was the feeling of being a team and being happy to support him. It was the joy of watching my girls get so excited about being able to contribute. These are the real stuff of marriage and family.
After all the work was done, my husband fired our pizza oven for the first time, and we had a pizza party and family movie night.
It was an extremely exhausting, and thoroughly enjoyable, weekend.
