I Gotta Get Me One of These

Posted on June 24, 2012 by Amy

And when I say “one of these,” I’m referring to a huge, obnoxious trampoline to put in my backyard. For my kids, of course. Yes. For my kids.

During our recent weeks of traveling we spent some time with my sister-in-law’s family. They have a trampoline in their backyard (along with a pool and lots of chickens, it’s like child heaven there). The girls loved it.

They played “Monster” with my husband and his brother.

They jumped and jumped and ran and jumped some more. They laughed and screamed a lot.

Miss made up a game called “Kitty-Cat-Cat Ball,” which she played with her older cousins. The rules according to Miss: “You throw the ball up in the air and try to catch it. And if you miss it, you have to do something else.” Right on.

This was her proud pose every time she caught the ball. I love, love, love this pose. I just wish this photo would have captured the priceless look on her face too.

Her cousin was pretending to have trouble catching the ball. Here she was telling him, “You have to keep trying. I know you can do it!”

Add trampoline to the long list of things I once thought I would never do or buy for my children that I am now scrambling to buy and have rush delivered. I don’t know why I used to think I wouldn’t get one of these. It’s great exercise. The kids can be entertained for hours in there. And with the zip-up safety cage around it, it’s like the world’s largest playpen! Entertainment + Containment = LOVE

And who am I kidding? I can’t wait to get in and jump around myself too!

Braving the Pool

Posted on June 21, 2012 by Amy

I took the girls to the pool this afternoon for the first time this summer. It’s pretty hot here, so I figured it would be a good way to get some outside time after naps (or non-nap in the case of Miss). My husband had a meeting, so I braved the pool on my own. Through having the girls in the water at my sister-in-law’s in the past few weeks, we have learned that Lass is fearless when it comes to the water, so I was a bit nervous. I figured we’d be okay though since the pool has zero-entry and I put a floatie on her. At first it was super easy, and I wondered what I had even been nervous about. Sis sat in her car

seat in the shade and Miss and Lass splashed around harmlessly in less that one foot of water, pretty much right by my feet. Then a friend, who is about two months older than Miss showed up. It was great for the girls to be able to play with her, but her arrival disrupted our little peaceful, safe, easy playing. She and Miss immediately headed for deeper water (“deeper” in this case meaning one to two feet) and of course Lass went right along with them. They were playing “horsey” on some of those pool noodles. That, in addition to the slightly deeper water, was enough to throw Lass off her balance a bit, and twice I went running though the water and hauled her up after she lost her footing and went face first into the water. With the noodle under her she couldn’t quite get her feet back under herself. After the second time, I had to call it quits for Lass for today. I think I’m going to get a more substantial life jacket and maybe we’ll try it again in a few days. That girl freaks me out. She’s my little dare devil.

I really would love to have some photos of our pool time to post, since it was mostly lots of fun and the girls were, naturally, oh so cute splashing around. But between hawk-watching Miss and Lass, trying to keep the sun off Sis (she was perfectly shaded in her car seat, but then got fussy, so I put her in the Ergo), and making life-saving dives for my middle child, the camera never made it out of my bag. So instead, I’ll share with you a few of the photos from last week at the farm.

Of course my husband did tons of fishing and the girls were very excited to see some of the larger fish he caught. No filleting this time, though.

Foos-ball-room for the princesses to dance in.

We had a very big and somewhat scary storm the last night we were at the Farm. It blew up right around snack time, so we took our stuff to the basement for a picnic. The girls seemed unfazed in spite of all the thunder and lightning, the 40-50 MPH winds, sideways-falling rain and hail.

Of course we celebrated Father’s Day morning at the Farm before heading home. During the week prior to our trip, I had the girls make Father’s Day paintings. They painted canvases for their Daddy.

Then Miss did paintings on paper for my Grandpa, my Dad, and my Father-in-law (Lass lost interest after her canvas was done). At the end as she was finishing up the painting for my Father-in-law, her Papa, she decided it would be funny to stick her face in the still-wet paint.

She seems to be our little budding artist. She really loves to paint anything. She got really into painting some gourds with my Mother-in-law when we were at the farm. She seems to understand the power of art to make people smile too. When she created her painting for my Grandpa she said, “I think this will make Great-grandpa happy.” Yes, I think so too.

She Called Them “Little Lambs”

Posted on June 16, 2012 by Amy

For the past two days we have been busy celebrating the life of my husband’s beautiful grandmother and saying goodbye to her. I am sitting here struggling for the words to adequately describe the emotions I have been feeling. My heart aches for my husband and his loss. I also have my own grief for a woman who was so accepting and loving towards me from the moment I met her. And I am sad that my girls will not have the chance to grow up knowing their great-grandmother. But sorrow and grief do not fully describe my feelings. Yes, I absolutely feel sad. But at the same time, I feel kind of, strangely, uplifted by the past two days. The fact is, it is awe inspiring to reflect on the life of someone so accomplished, graceful, and kind. It is, yes, amazing to see how much this one woman was loved by her family, friends, and community. There was much reminiscing. There were moments of laughter. There was singing that was simultaneously sorrowful and joyous. There were beautiful moments. Bittersweet moments. Tender moments. There were a few moments that I, as a mother, will never forget.

Like when Miss happened to notice the open casket at the visitation last night. She walked right up to it with such innocent curiosity. Naturally she had many questions. We had a conversation that went something like this:

Miss: “Mama, why is she lying on that pillow?”

Me: “Because she died…”

Miss: “Why?”

Me: “She was very old and had lived a very long life, and sometimes when people get very very old like that, their body doesn’t work as well and they die.”

Miss: “She can’t breathe anymore, right?”

Me: “Right.”

Miss: “That’s just like Tessa.” (our dog who died about a year ago)

Me: “That’s right Honey.”

Miss: “Mama, why is she in that box?”

Me: “So that her family and friends could have a chance to tell her how much they loved her and say goodbye. Would you like to tell her you loved her and say goodbye to her?”

And she did.

A little while later Miss returned to look at her great-grandma some more. Lass came over as well, and so did my husband. He picked up Lass and asked her if she wanted to say goodbye to her great-grandma. She waved and said, “Buh-bye Gamma.” He asked her if she wanted to tell her great-grandma “I love you.” She said, “I yuh you Gamma.” It was a truly precious moment.

My husband’s grandmother used to call her grandchildren her “Little Lambs.” I’ve heard her use this term of endearment with my girls. I couldn’t help but think of this when I saw my girls’ pure innocence while trying to understand her death. Amidst all the grief and sadness, there was beauty and life. My husband’s grandmother lives on through my girls and the rest of her family. I think that everyone who was a part of the tribute paid to her in the past two days will at some point have to stop and think, “How can I be more like her?” She was that inspiring. This one woman accomplished so much in her lifetime, including starting and keeping together this family:

80 people directly descended from her or married to someone who is. She held her family together across many years and miles. She was small, yet mighty. She was so much to so many. She was loved. She will be missed.

Life Lived Well

Posted on June 12, 2012 by Amy

How do you measure a life lived well? A good life? A successful life? I suppose you could answer these questions in many different ways, depending on your priorities. But today I’m thinking of two very special ladies in particular, who I think are very clear examples of life lived well. These two are on my mind for very different reasons today. Neither of these ladies have led lives characterized by tons of money or high-powered jobs. Instead their lives have been exceptionally full of love and family. Work and friends. Laughter and joy. I look at these women and it seems so clear to me that the measure of a good life is How much were you loved? How much did you love in return? If the answer to these two questions is Much, I think one’s life has been lived well.

Today, my Grandma turned 90 years old. She is so beautiful in so many ways. The matriarch of our family. She’s kind and loving and amazing. I called her today to tell her happy birthday and she told me that she was going to celebrate her day by having some friends over for a sing-along and cake. She used to be a member of a performing group, and the friends coming to sing with her today are the remaining former members of this group. How awesome is that? I wish I could have been there. Friends. Fun. Laughter. She is 90 years old and still vibrant and full of love. She has loved and been loved much.

Family. Love. Joy. She rocks. Happy Birthday Grandma.

Two days ago, another beautiful woman, my husband’s dear Grandmother passed away at the age of 92. So she is on my mind today as well. She was a very special lady who left behind an incredible number of people who love and miss her dearly. She had six sons, 26 grandchildren, and 29 great grandchildren! She was a person you couldn’t help but adore if you met her. She was loving, gentle, and funny. She most definitely lived life well, with grace and dignity and so. much. love.

I cannot think of two better examples of full and successful lives than these two amazing women.

Bring on Summer

Posted on June 7, 2012 by Amy

We have started our new summer schedule this week. Miss is still going to school for the month of June, but she’s switched to Tuesdays and Thursdays to make room for a Monday and Wednesday swimming class and Wednesday art class. So far this week we’ve been busy but thoroughly enjoying it. Lass and Sis came with me to vote in our state’s big recall election yesterday while Miss was in school. Lass waited so patiently in line with me. She got a cookie when we were done. And a sticker, of course.

She is such a funny little character. While on our way out of the building where we voted, an elderly man was walking in, and as we passed him he held out his hand to her as if asking her for her cookie. She was holding her cookie in her left hand, with her right hand holding mine. Without skipping a beat, she let go of my hand and slapped the man’s hand to give him “5.” She is awesome.

Sis just hung out and slept the whole time. She’s a dream baby. We voted after she had her 2-month doctor’s appointment. She weighed in at the 90th %ile, and her height is around the 97th %ile. Pretty much the same as her sisters at that age, though Miss is now around the 50th %ile for both height and weight. I had to pull out 6-month sized clothes for Sis this week!

Miss started a new art class today. I tried out the drop-in childcare at the YMCA for Lass and Sis and got in a workout while Miss’s class was going. I have never done that before. I am wondering why. It will now be a weekly practice.

Naturally, we had some mad dress-up after coming home. Miss has started striking these funny little poses when I ask if I can take her picture.

I have no idea where she learned this, but I love it.

Both older girls were accessorized to the max.

Thank goodness this little one is a wonderful traveler.

We are leaving again for the Farm on Friday for another week of sun and outside playing and exploring. And dress up. There will be lots of dress up I’m sure. I know Lass will be happy to reunite with the pink leo.

Welcome summer!

Fashion Shows and Fishing

Posted on June 4, 2012 by Amy

The title of this post really sums up the variety of things the girls have to do when we go to the farm. The last post showed a good selection of their activities, as well. It just seems never-ending. One day early in the week I came out of our room after feeding and changing Sis to find this:

You can’t see much of them here, but she paraded around in these big gold flats calling them her “dancing shoes.”

The girls and their “Baba” (my mother-in-law) had gotten into the dress up basket and they were in heaven. Miss switched between several different outfits, but Lass found the one she liked and didn’t vary from it. They were both princesses ready to go to the ball. We all got dressed up and danced and twirled. They selected my outfit.

Yes, we all got dressed up.

Sis gave her opinions on our outfits and dancing techniques.

She is very chatty these days.

I think it was Tuesday that the girls discovered the dress up clothes, and from that point on, each morning when they woke up the first thing Lass did was ask for “dress up!” and “pincy!” (princess). She spent much of the rest of our time there in that pink leotard. In fact she often had a mini fit when I took it off her to change her diaper of get her dressed. The one thing she was always willing to take it off for though was to go and play outside. We had lots of fun exploring the Farm on the Ranger.

We took a long ride one day and ended up on a dirt road where there were two very old houses that had mostly collapsed. I pointed them out to Miss and she was fascinated by them. She kept talking about the houses that had fallen down and how someone should have taken better care of them and maybe we should go and fix them.

Stopping for a snack in the shade.

Of course after our ride it was time to go fishing. Miss had been talking about fishing with her Daddy for weeks before this trip. She caught some bluegills, which she called “blue jays” when I asked her what kind she had caught.

Lass loved to sit by the pond and throw rocks in the water while her sister was fishing.

We had a jammy day one day when it was cold and rainy out. The weather was great for fishing so my husband and two nephews went out on the boat and ended up bringing home dinner. Lots of walleye. The girls were quite intrigued by the process of filleting the fish.

Notice Lass’s outfit.

The girls’ cousin showed him the walleye’s teeth.

My girls always seem to grow and learn so much after a week of travel, either to the farm or visiting my family, or wherever we go. Lass’s vocabulary seems to triple and Miss’s use of subtleties of language improves noticeably. She even learns things like, “I’m going to kick you in the weenie!” from her older boy cousins, which of course prompts a conversation about what a weenie is and why we don’t say that or do that. But that could be another whole post, I suppose.

I love to watch my girls blossom at the farm.

A Weekend in Photos

Posted on May 30, 2012 by Amy

We are doing it up right this week, here at the Farm. The weekend was hot and sunny and beautiful and perfect for little girls to have fun outside with cousins and aunts and uncles.

There was mud digging and splashing

Sand castle building

Frog catching

And butterfly chasing.

The girls did plenty of drawing with sidewalk chalk.

We went exploring and treasure hunting.

Miss got her hair done like her older cousin.

I need to learn how to do this!

The girls battled with some swords.

Check out her form!

Baby Sis observed happily.

There was a rousing game of kick ball.

To top it off, a campfire with s’mores and fireworks.

And, somebody is two months old already. Holy smokes.

Gotta go. I have some mud-pie-making to do. Or treasure hunting. Or maybe swing pushing. Or sidewalk-chalking…

The Preschooler

Posted on May 29, 2012 by Amy

I’m playing catch-up a bit tonight. We are at the Farm, and due to traveling and then visiting with family, I have not had a chance to post about Miss’s preschool graduation party until tonight. Of course, she didn’t graduate from preschool, but a three or four of the other kids in her school did, so there was a little party last Thursday to celebrate the end of the school year and say farewell to those kids heading off to Kindergarten next year. I love that her school is a mixed age school and that it is so small, so that she sees her older classmates taking this step to Kindergarten and yet doesn’t lose too many of her friends from the past year.

The party was lots of fun. Miss spent almost the entire time intently focused on making a necklace for herself.

Once she finished it (you can see how long it is in the photos below!!) she went over to the face painting area. She was a little unsure about the face painting at first. She is my cautious girl, and she wanted to think this one over a bit.

She eventually sat down and allowed one of her teachers to paint a flower on her cheek. A blue flower of course. I love that her teacher knew that blue is her favorite color and commented on it to her (Miss wears a blue shirt to school almost every day).

Though she didn’t graduate from preschool to Kindergarten, she did get a certificate for completing her first year of school. I am so proud of how far she has come in this past year. She has learned so much and really gained in confidence. My girl who used to cry every time I dropped her off at school now doesn’t want to leave when I come to pick her up. Every day she says, “Mama, I had so much fun at school today.”

When we got home Miss proudly showed off her necklace and face paint (which took three days to wash off, by the way).

Then we had our own little party with some treasures from the Target dollar aisle (have I mentioned how much I love the Target dollar aisle?) and some new sunglasses purchased for our trip to the Farm.

I have so many great photos already from the past weekend of the girls with their cousins at the Farm. I will post them very soon. ‘Night.

Wednesdays with Lass

Posted on May 25, 2012 by Amy

At least once per week, on Tuesday or Wednesday or both, I have a special morning with Lass while Miss is at school. Sometimes we run errands or just go home and play. Often we go to a local cafe where they have a big play area for little ones. Sis comes along of course, but mostly she just sleeps or chills in her car seat or wrap, so it is special time for Lass and me to hang out. Her little personality just seems to blossom during these times. She is so curious and chatters away about everything she sees. She loves to look at the mural at the cafe and point out each animal she sees. She plays in the little house and with the train table.

We have a snack. She likes to climb up in the chair at one of the other small tables, point to the other chair and say, “Sit? Mama sit?” Then we sit at the table, just the two of us and chit chat.

Yesterday she wouldn’t take off this paper bib after her snack.

She is growing and changing so quickly. She’s 21 months old today. Her vocabulary seems to grow every day and she now speaks in full sentences. She has little things she likes to say a lot, like “No yet,” if you ask her to do something or “Okay?,” meaning, “Are you okay?” She pats or rubs my arm or leg if she can when she asks this one. She is very interested in taking care of her baby sister and tries to be able to do all the things her big sister can do. She is now wearing a “big girl pony tail” like her big sis. She looks so grown up.

I love my mornings with my middle girl.

The Tantrum

Posted on May 23, 2012 by Amy

Last week my husband worked nights and Miss didn’t nap. That wasn’t the best combination, and we had a few rough points during the week. It reminded me of another time my husband was working nights and Miss had her first super crazy meltdown tantrum. Aaaah, memories…

*******

Okay, so I am floundering a bit with this “Terrible Twos” thing. I hate even saying that. “Terrible Twos.” Having a nearly-two-year-old is not terrible. Most of the time, it’s pretty great. But I have found myself in this place recently where sometimes, just sometimes, it is totally. crazy. psycho. During Miss’s toddlerhood thus far we’ve had our share of “moments.” Brief little fits. Minor tantrums. They were usually short and they’d blow over quickly. Miss could be distracted pretty easily, and if not she’d pull herself together without too much drama. The one area where we sometimes would have a big meltdown would be after nap when Miss would sometimes wake up in a terrible mood and just have a screaming fit for what seemed like an age.

And then we had today. This morning. My girl woke up like a little ray of sunshine, as always. We had fun playing and coloring and watching a little bit of Sesame Street. We pretended to be dinosaurs. She pretended to make lemonade. Then she said she was hungry so I took her in the kitchen to get a snack. I asked her what she wanted. “Bunny crackers.” “Yogurt.” Okay, no problem. I got out the yogurt, got a spoon, opened the yogurt and started to put it in front of her. Strawberry yogurt. Yum. Then she asked for a sandwich. I simply said something like, “Well honey, let’s have a little snack now and then I’ll get you a sandwich at lunchtime.” Hello. Commence screaming. Seriously. She started howling like a banshee and did not stop. I tried all my usual tricks. I tried to get her to laugh. I said something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset. Please use your words to tell me what you want and I’ll be happy to help you.” Ha!! After a while of more shrieking I thought I heard her say, “bunnies,” so to try to positively reinforce her “using her words” I got the bunny crackers out and put some on her placemat. She screamed harder. I ate her yogurt and tried to wait her out. She said “down” so I got her down from her chair, at which point she fell to the floor and continued howling. My husband, who was upstairs trying to sleep came downstairs and asked her why she was crying. She stopped for a second, said “Daddy” and then went right back to yelling. He looked at me, I shrugged, he went back upstairs with a comment to the effect of, “Well, I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t knocked out down here or something . . .” The rest of what he said was lost in the noise of our daughter. I’m pretty sure that was his no-so-subtle way of saying, “Okay, since you’re conscious, can you please do something about our child’s insane wailing?” It didn’t help that he happened to come downstairs during the part where I was eating her yogurt and trying to wait her out, so it probably looked like I was just chillin’, having a snack, not realizing that our child had turned into a little puddle of insanity on the floor.

Anyway, it went on. I could describe the whole painful morning in detail, I’m sure, as it feels as though the scene is scorched into my brain, never to be forgotten. The First Big One. But I’ll spare you the details. Okay, I probably already gave way too many details. So, we can leave it at, It Was Bad, and move on. I probably could have ended it rather quickly by turning on the TV or letting her watch Yo Gabba Gabba on the computer or something like that. But I could not bring myself to do that. It just felt like that would have been reinforcing a behavior I’m not anxious to have repeated. Okay, don’t laugh, I know it will be repeated in some form quite a few times and probably agonizingly in public on at least a few occasions too. I’m just saying, I don’t want to increase the frequency of the Tantrum From Hell by reinforcing it. I’m a psychologist. I’m all into my behavioral principles. I know them forwards and backwards. I guess I automatically get Skinnerian in my head when dealing with this discipline stuff. But I gotta say, this morning, I felt L.O.S.T. I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t really even upset. I just had no idea how to make it stop. I knew I didn’t want to reinforce the behavior, but I also wasn’t trying to punish her. She’s almost two. She doesn’t have good control of her emotions and still has trouble expressing herself. She’s learning to deal with this stuff just like I am. But wow. I felt like I had been dropped into the deep end and had forgotten how to swim. I suppose, to stick with this simile, I managed to tread. And you know what eventually worked? I sat down on the floor where we had been coloring earlier, picked up a crayon, and started coloring. Within a minute she had stopped crying and was sitting next to me coloring away. Who knew?

So, I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, except to say that I am finding more and more Mommy-moments when I really feel like I’m not sure what the heck I’m doing. I always end up just going with what feels right to me, and things turn out okay. But then I look back and analyze everything and wonder if I did it right and am I going to screw my kid up forever or is she going to turn into a raging brat because I didn’t discipline her enough or did I do it too much and now she’s going to be insecure or rebellious??? Maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration. I’m not quite that neurotic. But I do tend to look back on what I did and see if there’s something I should do better or differently the next time. I guess I’m just making a mental note to myself that, even with all my principles of reinforcement swirling in my head, I still need to learn how to make it work with this girl. And maybe it will be different every time. And then I’ll have to learn it all over again with Lass. And so on. So, I’ve come to realize that there is no greater in vivo learning experience than motherhood. This is my classroom.

After Miss’s fit resolved, I got Lass (poor thing was just hanging out playing during the whole drawn out drama) down for a nap and asked Miss if she wanted to do some finger painting. This was a first for her so she had no idea what I was talking about, but she sure thought it sounded cool. So we got messy as our way to “make-up” (not quite the right word, but I liked the alliteration of the title) after the meltdown.

She liked squishing the paint between her fingers.

Masterpiece #1.

A bit of a lighter touch with this one.

After a while she got freaked out that her hands were so messy.

So she cleaned them off and got right back to it.

She decided to try tasting the paint and didn’t much care for it.

For the record, Crayola’s “washable” finger paints are indeed washable.

Gallery.

She seemed to like this set up better.

Aaand, we’re done.

What better way to finish a messy craft time than with a bubble bath?

Hanging out with Lass at lunch time. We had no more eating-related meltdowns. She had forgotten entirely about the sandwich. For lunch she wanted strawberry yogurt and Cheerios. Unfortunately I had eaten the last strawberry yogurt while she was howling face down on the floor, but she was content with apple. And I wasn’t gonna fuss about the lunch menu today. Apple yogurt and dry Cheerios? Sure.

And here she is proudly showing off her artwork to her Daddy when he woke up.

Before I click “Publish Post,” I feel like I should say that I know this is my second post in less than a week that might seem like it has a bit of a “complain-y” feel to it regarding mothering a toddler. I am not complaining. I realize all the time how lucky I am to have these two little people to bring up in the best way I can. Sometimes I screw up, and sometimes I nail it, and always I hope that I will learn and get better. And this blog is my way of chronicling this journey, and sharing it, and helping myself to figure it out by getting the words out of my head. So that’s it. Going to Arizona tomorrow. Wish us luck on the plane! Good night.