I had a strange experience the other day related to the post I wrote a few weeks ago called 9 Things I Like About the Catholic Church.
A woman wrote a blog post about my blog post. And she totally ridiculed me for it.
She didn’t ridicule me for going to church or for going to the Catholic Church. She slammed me for my apparently unsatisfactory reasons for going to the Catholic Church and my (obvious) lack of knowledge about the Bible.
Now, I’ll admit, I was very hurt when I first read what this woman wrote about me. I’m the first to acknowledge that I’m utterly ignorant of all this religion stuff, but I am trying really hard to learn about it and find my way to a fulfilling relationship with God. I’m getting there, and have been feeling really good about it. So to read something like that other post, basically saying that I’m not doing it right or well enough, well it felt like a kick in the gut. I’m mean, I’ve only been doing this for three months. Perhaps it might be okay for other, more experienced Christian folks to cut me a little bit of slack. Sure, correct me if I say something totally incorrect, roll your eyes at my sometimes flippant and irreverent way of talking about this stuff (I’m making fun of myself, not religion, when I do this, in case you couldn’t tell), even challenge my beliefs if I’m off the mark, but please don’t judge and criticize and sarcastically say things about me like, “Um. WHAT? Seriously? Has she even read the Bible?” That really isn’t helpful.
And just in case you couldn’t guess, no I have not read the Bible.
Anyway, this post is not meant to be about the other blog author or what she wrote. I don’t know the woman personally, and I don’t think she intended to be hurtful to me. I don’t think she actually even intended for me to read her post. I would have never known about it if I hadn’t happened to see that a bit of traffic was referred to my blog from her blog through some links she included in her post and clicked over out of curiosity. But either way, she was writing about what she feels passionately about, and I can respect that. I know that writing about religion opens me up to lots of criticism, and I left a comment directly for her to respectfully let her know some of my thoughts on what she said about me.
That said, I realized after reading her post that perhaps my original writing was not entirely clear (likely because of aforementioned flippancy and irreverence). So, I want to clarify my thoughts on the topic. Not because of what another blogger wrote about me, but because on reflection I think I really might have given the wrong impression on a few points. Even with this second attempt, I suspect my words will be somewhat clumsy because I am very unaccustomed to thinking about things like these, let alone writing about them in a coherent manner. But practice makes perfect, so here goes…
First of all, the 9 things I listed in the previous post are not the reasons I go to church. They aren’t really even the reasons I go to Catholic church. They are some things I have been surprised to find that I prefer about the Catholic Church over other types of services I have attended in the (very distant) past.
Someone might find the things I listed to be silly or frivolous reasons for choosing or preferring a particular type of Christian church. Maybe they are, though I don’t really think so. They’re just my personal preferences.
Probably I didn’t explain myself very eloquently. The way I feel and think about a religious issue will start to make sense to me in my head, but when I type it out, in my goofy style of writing, it doesn’t always sound quite right. I own that. So. I am going to try again on a few points where I think I may have given the wrong impression before. I’m including the original 9 things in italics for your reference.
1. I like that the priest isn’t overly preachy. There are a few nice readings during the service. The priest comments on them and on some other things. Done! It doesn’t feel like being lectured. I don’t like being lectured.
What I meant was to say that I like that the Catholic Homily is not a drawn out sermon all about a pastor’s interpretation of the Bible. It’s a to-the-point commentary to facilitate greater understanding of the Scripture (what I referred to simply as readings in the original post) that is read during the service. I find this type of presentation to ring more true.
2. Similarly, there is no hellfire and damnation talk. I don’t like hellfire and damnation talk. I refuse to sit and listen to someone tell me how sinful I am and how the world is going to Hell, particularly if he is yelling and/or red-faced and/or banging on a pulpit while doing it. No thank you. The Catholic priest talks about sin and repentance sometimes, but not in a scary, crazy, accusing way.
When I say, “I refuse to listen to someone tell me how sinful I am” that doesn’t mean that I think I’m not sinful. But here’s the thing about that: I have lived in this body and this mind for 37 years. I am well aware that I am a sinner. I choose not to attend a church service where the pastor feels the need to yell at me about it. To me, that type of preaching is not necessary or helpful and feels more like a performance than worship. The Catholic priest gets this point across well without the theatrics.
3. Along those lines, the Catholic service is nice and peaceful. I don’t much like church services where people are yelling out “Hallelujah!” and “Amen!” and such. Makes me uncomfortable.
I truly don’t think there is anything wrong with people choosing to attend or participate in a service like this, it’s just not for me.
4. Even so, the Catholic service has a joyful feel to it. No yelling required.
5. I really love the sound of a church full of people murmuring reverently in unison. This happens a lot throughout the Catholic Service, and I just like it.
Enough said.
6. I have never once heard mention of certain groups of people or of those who believe or act differently or not according to the Catholic teachings being bad or sinful or damned or anything else.
I do not believe any church or other organization should preach hate or intolerance and that is what I was getting at with this statement. Of course there are things that the Catholic Church is very firm about and I imagine they might say people can go to Hell for doing all sorts of stuff, I don’t know. I haven’t gotten to learning about that part yet. But I will not attend and expose my children to a church where the services are peppered with hateful statements about people who are different, whether that refers to people of other religious groups, gay people, people with piercings or tattoos (hello?), or whatever.
When we go to church, our kids sit through the service with us. The Catholic Service is family friendly. I don’t worry that my kids are going to hear hate-filled statements issuing forth from the priest’s mouth. I don’t worry that they will be frightened by the service.
I do not mean to suggest in any way that I think all, or even most, other types of Christian church services are hateful or frightening. But unfortunately I have seen (as most of us have I think) a good bit of hurtful, judgmental, and/or bigoted behavior that is defended in the name of Christianity. I have experienced some of it personally as well. So to have found a place where I feel good about what is being taught, where I feel spiritual growth in a supportive environment, and where my husband has roots… That is a pretty big deal to me.
7. I enjoy the music during the service. It’s beautiful, but doesn’t leave me feeling as though I’m at a rock concert. It feels right for the service.
8. The people there are very kind. The priests and deacons are welcoming and speak to you as you come into and go out of the service. They shake hands and smile. The people in the church are nice too. This is not like many of my previous church experiences.
9. The Catholic service is beautiful. It just is. If you let yourself sit and listen and watch and sort of participate, the ritual and symbolism are just lovely. I say “sort of participate” because of course I don’t receive communion, and I haven’t gotten the hang of doing the sign of the cross and other stuff (stuff that I don’t even know the name of), and really I’m not there at this point anyway. But I like it. It moves me somehow.
These things probably apply to lots of churches, though I do like the Catholic way of doing things in particular. These aren’t in themselves reasons to choose a church, but yes they are part of what I like about the Catholic Church we attend.
I said in my original 9 Things post, and I’ll say it again here, I am sure there are many, many other wonderful churches out there. My writing about the things I like about Catholicism and the Catholic service is not meant to show disrespect to any other person, church, religion, etc. Unfortunately I have had some bad experiences with Christian people and churches that have left me guarded against the same types of judgmental attitudes I have seen. So I’m glad I have found a church where I feel comfortable.
I had no intention in the first post nor in this one of trying to say my church is better than any other, outside of saying it is better for me.
