7 Quick Takes About Miraculous Twins, Being a Crazy Stalker, and Other Stuff

Posted on May 23, 2014May 24, 2014 by Amy

Linking up with Conversion Diary, and actually making it on Friday this week.

1. Last weekend was Miss’s first piano recital. Doesn’t she look so tiny?? Her song was about ten seconds long, and I was nearly in tears when she was done, it was so cute. She went up in front of the audience like she owned the place. She was thrilled to play in front of a crowd. I had no idea she could be so cool under pressure.

2. Last weekend we also potty trained Sis. I like to use this 3-Day Potty Training method, which is horrid for three days and then awesome forever (except for a few days after I did the program with Miss, which were far, far from awesome).

It’s very strange to no longer be changing diapers! 3. Lass had her first haircut on Wednesday. Just as it was with Miss, her first cut came at 3.5 years old. She was so excited. And I am so mad at myself because I forgot to save a snip of it. All that beautiful hair, and I didn’t save any of it. I just want to cry every time I think about it. But she loves her haircut and has no idea that I messed up. Hopefully she won’t hate me when she’s 15 and realizes I saved hair from her sisters’ first haircuts but forgot hers. Or rather, hopefully she won’t hate me for that.

4. When we first got to the salon and the girls were climbing in the chairs to get started (Miss got her second haircut at the same time, so you can see they’ll be going for haircuts about as often as I do), I had an interesting exchange with the woman cutting Lass’s hair:

Her – “How old are they?”

Me – pointing at Lass, “She’s three,” and pointing at Miss, “and she’s five.”

Her – eyes bugging out, “Are they twins?”

Me – blinking. . . “Uh. Nooo?”

Her – “Woooowwww.”

I get asked all the time if they’re twins. But never quite like that.

An “After” photo of my not-twins: 5. It’s not uncommon for me to run into Super Friend when I’m out and about on any given day. We live in a not-huge town and we go to all the same places. The grocery store. The Catholic store. Target. We always laugh when we see each other as if it’s soooo craaaaazy that we’re running into each other again.

It was much the same thing on Tuesday when I pulled into the Target parking lot and saw her car there. I texted her real quick “Are you at Target???” She replied something like, “Yes! At Starbucks” (I’d like to take a moment to interject how amazing it is that there is a Starbucks in our Target store. Marketing genius, is what that is).

So I hopped out of my car and chuckled to myself all the way into the store, where I walked in to see her standing right near the entrance (since that’s where the Starbucks is). I laughed and said, “I swear, I’m not following you!” in cheesy reference to the fact that I had just seen her at the grocery store the day before.

Unfortunately I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings when I said this and was oblivious to the fact that my crazy-stalker-lady comment scared the crap out of the woman walking right in front of me. She jumped and looked quickly over her shoulder with an expression of terror, made worse by the fact that Super Friend and I were cracking up laughing at my stupidity. So then I said, “Oh, I’m not following you either!” as the woman rushed into the store to get far, far away from me. I hope she got a laugh out of it once the initial horror was gone. Maybe?

6. I recently bought the book “Feast! Real Food, Reflections, and Simple Living for the Christian Year” by Haley and Daniel Stewart to help me in my attempts at teaching my girls about the liturgical year and celebrating it as a family. It’s a wonderful book, and is full of delicious-looking (haven’t had a chance to make any of them yet) recipes for Advent, Christmas, Lent, and Easter seasons, as well as for many saints’ feast days.

So with the book you can read about a saint and make a meal that somehow represents that saint’s story (mostly by being a dish from the place where the saint lived, I think, though I haven’t looked through the whole book yet) on the saint’s feast day. History, religion, geography, and dinner, all in one! The book has lots of saints in it that I have never heard of, and recipes for foods I’ve never tried, so I can’t wait to make some of the dishes.

7. “Feast!” does not have a recipe for commemorating St. Rita’s feast day, which was yesterday. You may remember that St. Rita is the patroness of impossible cases, and I chose hers as my confirmation name.

So I took inspiration from the book and found my own recipe to celebrate her day. St. Rita is from Cascia, Italy, and I found a recipe for “Lentils with Sausages in the Style of Cascia” in this cookbook.

I cooked lentils once, a looong time ago, and they were awful. I didn’t get the texture right, and they had no flavor. At that time I told my husband that I would never, ever cook lentils again, but I couldn’t find any other traditional Cascian dishes, so I went for it anyway. Never say never, right? He actually remembered me saying that, and mentioned it to me yesterday.

Thankfully, this time the lentils were much better. These actually had very good flavor, and I think the texture was how lentils are supposed to be. I realized that I just don’t much like lentils, because their texture isn’t appealing to me. But this dish was pretty good. As my husband said, “Edible lentils! That’s an improvement.”

Also to celebrate St. Rita’s day the girls watched this video, we colored a picture of her, we looked up Italy on our world map, and we made a bee craft, since my girls were especially interested in the part of St. Rita’s story involving the bees. It was a great way to celebrate a special feast day, though maybe next year I’ll search harder for different recipe from Cascia, sans lentils.

Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend, and for more quick takes, check out Conversion Diary.

Answer Me This! Beards and Other Scary Things

Posted on May 19, 2014May 19, 2014 by Amy

Linking with Haley this time for Answer Me This!

1. What’s the scariest thing that’s ever been in your yard?

Not much scary has been in my current yard. Probably this guy, I guess:

He really wasn’t that scary, but he was missing a leg and his tail. And I have a history with opossums.

Scariest thing ever was a drive-by shooter when we lived in North Carolina (oddly also part of the opossum back story). I guess not technically in my yard. But close enough, since two bullets came through the front wall of my house.

2. Beards. Thumbs up or thumbs down?

Thumbs definitely up.

I love the beard. Though I loved the bald too.

3. If stuff breaks, can you fix it?

Some stuff. I can manage a hammer, most small and some larger power tools, a needle and thread (or sewing machine), and crazy glue. However, beyond the sewing and gluing, I usually leave broken stuff to my husband these days.

4. What was your first car?

A Ford Escort I shared with my brother until he went away to college. Kind of like this one but grey and a few years older:

5. How often do you eat out?

Every other week to once a week. My husband and I go on date nights or we go out for a “family date night.” I have a great love of date nights. Also, I go out to dinner with Super Friend sometimes.

6. Why is your hair like that?

Because it’s thick and heavy. And because I don’t know how to do anything else with it. Or I’m too lazy to do anything else (example: I cannot commit to regular visits to the salon, so hair color and short cuts are out).

Heck, sometimes I can’t even manage that^^ and have to go for a bang-free variation.

I didn’t have bangs until December. Prior to that my hair had been the same long-and-straight ‘do pretty consistently since I was about 16. Once in a while I’d try something new, but it was always either pretty awful or more trouble than it was worth.

So I always come back to the basic long and straight. The bangs have been my latest attempt at “something different,” and they seem to be manageable so far.

See more answers at Carrots for Michaelmas.

Five Favorites – My Beauty Tips

Posted on May 14, 2014May 14, 2014 by Amy

This is going to be my first ever post linking up with the lovely Hallie’s Five Favorites series.

I know that you have all been on pins and needles waiting to hear from me on an important topic: My Beauty Secrets (those of you who know me in real life, please stop laughing). I know you’re eager to hear me weigh in on this. Never mind that I wear yoga pants nearly every day, have no idea how to apply eye shadow, and spend months at a time in desperate need of a lip waxing. This here is important stuff, and Five Favorites is just the way to share it with you all.

So here they are, my five favorite beauty products:

-1-

Ava Anderson shampoo and conditioner.

These don’t necessarily leave my hair feeling or smelling or looking extra awesome, but they’re completely free of harmful chemicals and that makes me feel good. All of the Ava Anderson products are. My sweet friend Holley is one of their consultants, and she turned me on to the company. You can get the products here.

-2-

Maybelline cover stick in yellow.

It has to be the yellow one. I have terrible dark circles under my eyes. I’ve tried many different products in different shades to try to cover them up. This cover stick is the only thing that does it without looking bizarre.

-3-

Cetaphil stuff.

We use the soap and the lotion here. Miss has very sensitive skin and this is the only stuff that keeps it from reacting. Just using other types of hand soap when we go to other places can give her a rash on her little hands, but the Cetaphil lotion clears it right up. And I like it for myself too.

Unfortunately I am scarred by the images that came up on Google when I was looking for one to use in this post. Apparently lots of other people use this stuff for some, um, pretty severe skin problems?

-4-

Goody plastic kiddy barrettes

I wear these a lot since I got bangs cut. It probably won’t surprise you to know that I sometimes don’t really feel like doing my hair. Or sometimes I just can’t seem to make it look right. So I grab one of these and clip the bangs over to the side so they won’t bug me all day.

Not only are they fun, but they actually work better than any other barrettes I’ve tried on my super thick hair (I did actually try to buy some plain brown “adult-ish” barrettes to use at first instead of pilfering the girls’ stash, but they didn’t work worth a darn).

-5-

Burt’s Bees Pomegranate Lip Balm

I don’t like to wear lipstick, I’m addicted to chapstick, and I like having a little bit of color on my lips. Also, I don’t like chapstick that feels sticky or too thick. This stuff is perfect. I keep one of those ^^ in my bathroom, one in my kitchen, and one in my wallet at all times.

And now you know all the essentials for hair, skin, face, and lips. Amazing stuff, yes?

To see more posts from people with favorite things, go here.

A Mother’s Day Stay-cation Extravaganza

Posted on May 13, 2014 by Amy

I had a nice Mother’s Day. It’s lovely to go to Mass and see my children present flowers to Mary, to listen to the men’s choir sing some special songs honoring mothers, and then receive a special mother’s blessing from our priest. It’s nice to get lovely cards from my husband and kids, to (try to) take a nap, and have my husband happily cook dinner (even though he was grilling in a torrential downpour).

I don’t need fancy presents or a big to-do for Mother’s Day, but these little things are special each year.

This year, however, I felt like I got a super-bonus week-long Mother’s Day extravaganza. My husband was on vacation last week and we decided not to travel, but to have a stay-cation instead. He was home all week and it was wonderful.

In addition to the fun of spending tons of quality time with my man, he was very invested in making the week a little vay-cay for me too. I got to run errands whenever I wanted. I went to the library, to my favorite Catholic store, to Target. I was fairly skipping around town, reveling in the ease of running multiple errands in one day. In-and-out, and in-and-out, and in-and-out of the car like it was nothing.

I had a fabulous mid-week playdate with Super Friend while our husbands went fishing together. I had lunch with The Godmother.

We hung out outside as a family, planted our garden, and played and played. Hubby and I had beers by our fire pit one night.

I could have even slept in every day if I had wanted to, though my 5:30 am waking time is just too much of a habit to break now. Quiet coffee and Bible-reading and writing time was too alluring for me to stay in bed. But I could have if I had wanted to.

And one day? Oh my goodness, one day: I got up at 5:30, drank my warm coffee in the quiet, read my Bible, said my prayers, spent some time on my computer. Then the girls and my husband got up, and he noticed that I looked tired. I hadn’t slept well because of a little cold.

He said, “Why don’t you go back to bed for a bit?”

I thought What?!?!? Really?!?!? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

I said, “Are you sure?”

He was. I did. For two hours. It was awesome. I got to have my early morning quiet and to sleep in. True luxury.

It was a delightful week. I think I’m in love with the stay-cation. I hope you all had a lovely Mother’s Day too.

7 Quick Takes in Which I Completely Over-Analyze Kiddie Aliases

Posted on May 10, 2014May 24, 2014 by Amy

As usual on ~~Friday~~ Saturday?, linking up with Conversion Diary.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a quick take about how I have been feeling annoyed with the nicknames I chose to use for my kids when I first started blogging and have been thinking about changing them (see #7 here). I don’t enjoy writing with the nicknames. It feels awkward, and sometimes silly. Plus, sometimes people tell me they have a hard time keeping my girls straight when reading about them with the nicknames. Even those who know them in real life are sometimes like, “Wait, which one is Lass again?”

So, for several weeks now I’ve been trying to decide what to do about it, or whether to do anything at all. I finally came to a decision, and here’s the thought process by which I came to it, in Quick Takes form, of course:

When I first started this blog in 2009, I automatically gave Miss her nickname out of paranoia from my prison/forensic psychologist days.

I’m not so much worried that someone might find us and try to come and get us (though I am a little bit). Mostly, I don’t want inmates/former inmates to be able to read about my family.

But this concern is more related to my choice to not use my last name here, and I the fact that I don’t give information about specifically where we live, rather than whether I choose to use my kids’ real names.

So as I began thinking about the nicknames, I asked myself the question, “What do I really think would happen if I used their real names?” At first, I couldn’t really come up with anything, honestly. So I considered just switching to using their real names. But then I talked to my husband about it, and we discussed the possibility of someone, many years from now, Googling one of our girls (or whatever the equivalent from of searching for information is in 20 years), and it just didn’t seem worth it. Her future employer doesn’t need to read my thoughts on my daughter’s first temper tantrum, for example.

I make a point to try not to write things about my kids that I think they might be upset with me for sharing when they get a little older. One of the reasons I write this blog is that I want them to have a record of their lives from the perspective of their Mom that they might cherish someday and share with their own families. But I want them to have the option to not share it with those they would prefer not to see it.

When I was discussing the possibility of using the girls’ real names with my husband he asked me, “Well, what is the benefit of using them?” Other than it being easier to write and easier for people to read, I didn’t really know the answer to that one either.

But then yesterday I was reading Kendra’s blog, and coincidentally she wrote a Quick Take about her thoughts on how it might seem kind of off-putting to a reader that a blogger doesn’t trust him or her enough to share her kids’ real names (see take #6 here).

I had never thought about it that way. That perhaps it would make my blog more relatable to readers if I used my kids’ real names, or even make it seem as though I don’t want to connect with others if I don’t. Or that it might seem as though I don’t wish to be part of the blogging community by withholding that piece of information from those who read here. I would never want it to seem offensive or rude that I don’t use my kids’ names. But I just don’t feel comfortable with it.

So, going back to my original issue, which is that it’s annoying to write with the nicknames, and I don’t like the way the blog reads with them, and some people can’t keep my kids straight. . . I came up with a solution, with the help of my husband.

I let my girls choose their own aliases, using names that start with the same letter as their real names, so those who know them in real life will be able to easily keep them straight. My plan was to use these new, self-chosen aliases instead of those I chose, sort of at random, in the beginning and as I’ve added more children.

I wrote this whole post, planning to “introduce” my kids with their new nicknames.

But then I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know if I’m resistant to change, or if I just can’t picture referring to my kids in my writing as anything other than Miss, Lass, and Sis. But my hesitation to pull the trigger on this is the reason this Friday post is being published on Saturday.

So. Instead of introducing them with their new nicknames, I’l refresh your memory on which is which with their old nicknames. And just for fun, I’ll tell you the nicknames they chose for themselves.

This is my oldest. I call her Miss:

Her name starts with F. She chose the name Felicity.

This is my middle child, known here as Lass:

She chose the name Perpetua.

And finally, my youngest, Sis:

She didn’t choose a name, but the older girls picked one for her. She would have been Natalia.

Interestingly (to me at least), I gave the older girls each several names to choose from. Some were saints’ names, some weren’t. I did not steer them one way or another. They each immediately chose the names they wanted.

Incidentally, I knew that Saint Perpetua is a saint when Lass chose it. I did not know that Saint Felicity is also. The day after I let them pick their names, I happened upon a page about Saints Perpetua and Felicity in one of our saint books and learned that they are often mentioned together because they were martyred together. Weird.

Anyway. Wasn’t that a fun exercise in totally over-analyzing an issue and ending up right back where I started with it?

The last point I would like to make is that my above reasoning and choices are in no way intended to imply that I think the way anyone else does it is wrong. I don’t feel comfortable using my girls’ real names on my blog. But that doesn’t mean that I think someone else is wrong if they do.

Go here for more quick takes.

Answer Me This – Yes, I Am Becoming My Mother

Posted on May 5, 2014May 5, 2014 by Amy

Today I’m doing another link up. This time, Answer Me This with Kendra from Catholic All Year. Six questions from her. Six answers from me. Go.

1. Are you becoming your mother?

Yes, pretty much. I find myself saying things quite often that cause me to shake my head and say, “Whoa. I sound just like my Mom.” For instance, I use words like “Thingamabob” and “Do-hickey.” I use the phrase “Look with your eyes, not with your hands” (oh, the flashbacks of loooong days trudging through antique fairs).

I sing the tickle song that she made up when I was a kid. In the same voice that she used when she sang it. I’m picky about how I load my dishwasher. And how I fold my laundry. Yeah. I’m becoming my mother.

2. Coffee or tea?

Oh, coffee most definitely. My favorite time of the day is when I wake up before anyone else and enjoy my hot coffee while reading and/or writing.

I used to make myself a mocha every morning, with chocolate and frothed milk and everything. But I decided I probably ought not have dessert for breakfast every day, so I ditched the chocolate. Then I gave up dairy for a while and started using almond milk. Then I wanted to get rid of the chemical sweetener, so I switched from Splenda to maple syrup. So now I have a light-roast coffee, brewed in my Keurig, with a little bit of maple syrup and almond milk. Yum.

3. What foreign country would you like to visit?

Can I just say all of them? No? Okay. First on my list is Italy.

My great-grandfather came to this country from Italy as a boy. He couldn’t speak English when he came here, and he worked in the coal mines in West Virginia. I never knew him, but I’d love to see where he came from.

Plus, Pope Francis is there! The Colosseum! The food! The wine!

4. Do you cry easily?

Hmmm. I don’t think I cry easily. I used to sort of. I went through a phase when I cried every time I got really mad. Which was incredibly annoying. Imagine being super angry at a jerk-face supervisor at work, and trying to talk to your boss about it, and starting to cry!! Utterly humiliating. Fortunately (or not?) for me, my boss at the job where I mostly had this problem was also a crier. And I used to be a psychologist, so crying was never really judged. But, oh I hated that I used to do that. Also, I have a horrid cry-face. Ugly.

Thankfully I no longer seem to have that problem. Maybe it’s because I don’t work in a prison with lots of crazy ~~psychologists~~ inmates anymore?

5. How often do you wear heels?

Pretty frequently. I wear heels to church every week. And often during the rest of the week I wear boots with a heel (in winter) or wedges (in summer). I do have a love for my Danskos and flip flops though.

6. Do you play an instrument?

No. I played the flute in sixth grade. And my husband bought me a guitar during the first year we were dating. I took lessons and learned to play a bit, but never got to the point of being really good at it. I played the bass a tiny bit on a few super easy songs at our Labor Day party one year, when a few people were missing and no one else could do it.

I have this fantasy that I’m going to learn to play the piano along with my children. I’m really good at playing quarter notes on keys that are all located next to each other.

To see how others answered these questions, check out the link up HERE.

7QT “Welcome Home” Edition – Catholic Folks Know How to Extend a Warm Welcome

Posted on May 2, 2014May 3, 2014 by Amy

This set of 7 Quick Takes needs a preface:

I once had an experience with a Christian lady, that has stayed with me for a long time. This was before I was Catholic (sooo, you know, more than two weeks ago). Before I had even fully crossed over into the realm of atheism, long ago. I had become somewhat disenchanted with Christianity. I was observing lots of things that I thought were very hateful, happening in the name of Christianity. Then I moved to North Carolina with my husband. Except we weren’t married then. We moved in to our new house across the street from the neighborhood gossip, and next door to the neighborhood Christian lady (according to the gossip).

Our next door neighbor seemed like a nice woman. She was married and had a cute little daughter. She was blond and perky and her name was something like Bunny. One day when I was outside pulling weeds in our front yard, she drove her small SUV into my driveway, with her sweet little girl in the back seat. She rolled down her window and smiled a big Southern-charm-filled smile at me and said, “Hi! (sounds like ‘hah’ in the South) I just wanted to stop by and invite you and your husband over to dinner!” I smiled my big old Yankee smile right back and said, “Oh hi! He’s not my husband. But sure, we’d love to come over for dinner some time.”

The Southern-charm smile disappeared from her face lightning-fast and was replaced with a pursed-lip grimace, which could have easily led one to assume she had just accidentally consumed sour milk. She immediately threw her little SUV in reverse, said something like “Okay, well, I’ll be in touch” and sprayed gravel when she speed-backed out of my driveway as if she though our sinfulness was contagious. She never spoke to me again. We lived next door to her and her husband for about four years, and she never once spoke to me after that day.

Now. That incident obviously wasn’t what caused me to become an atheist, but I was already leaning away from religion, and her behavior simply added fuel to my “Christian people are not nice, they are judgmental and hateful” ideas that I had at that time (admittedly, I was immature and obstinately ignoring all the quietly kind and lovely Christian people I’m sure were all around me, but that’s not my point here. . .). Not long after this happened I began reading atheist books and listening to atheist recordings. And we all know how that turned out.

Fast forward about 11 years and here I am, marveling almost daily at how amazingly kind and generous and loving people have been to me as I have gone through my conversion. I once believed that Catholics were some of the worst of the bunch when it came to Christian hate-mongering. But, oh my goodness, the Catholic love that has poured forth toward me in the past year, especially in the past few weeks, is incredible. Here are some examples I just had to share:

Did I ever tell you about how Super Friend told me that she used to pray the rosary for my conversion?

We were dear friends before I found religion, when I was still very firmly atheist. I knew, in a vague sort of way, that she was Catholic. But I didn’t think much about it. We never talked about religion.

She is one of my favorite people in the world for many reasons, not the least of which is that she loved me and was an awesome, supportive friend to me even knowing that I was an atheist. She never, not once, for one second, made me feel judged, in spite of the fact that she is a devout Catholic (or maybe because of it?). But she did pray the rosary for me. She prayed the rosary for me! That is so amazing to me on so many levels.

Come to think of it, probably a lot of people prayed for me. But none of them were judgmental of or rude to me. Not once.

The Godmother (I love that I have a Godmother!!!)

Yeah, I know. She was called my “sponsor” for all the months of RCIA, but whatever. I’m calling her my Godmother. From now on and forever more, that’s what I’m saying.

She gave up her nightly glass of wine during Lent for me and my husband. Because of something she knew we were going through. She never even told me. She just did it. Something I said to her during our retreat on Holy Saturday prompted her to tell me that she had done this. But for 40 days, she just quietly gave that up. She didn’t expect any praise or thanks from me. She just did it. I’m still left speechless when I even think about it.

There is a Catholic store here in town that I just love. The store carries great books and toys for my kids (and for me), and gifts, and everything fabulous. And also the women who work there are just delightful. Yesterday I went in the store and the owner happened to be there. She has been so supportive of me through this whole conversion process, but yesterday was the first time I’ve seen her since the Easter Vigil. She nearly screamed when she saw me and gave me a bone-crushing hug. The excitement she displayed over my conversion was so amazing to me.

After I made my purchases, she hustled me into the book area of the store and went directly to a copy of Something Other Than God. She knew that was the perfect book for me, and she wanted to give it to me as a gift.

I didn’t realize at first that she was trying to give it to me. I thought she just wanted to show it to me, so I told her I already have a copy (and have read it twice and reviewed it in my last post. . .). When I realized she wanted to give me a gift, I immediately demurred, but she was not to be dissuaded. She was determined to give me a gift to express her happiness for me. And she did. “Welcome home,” she said.

And since I mentioned her book, I’ll add that Jennifer Fulwiler, probably one of the busiest ladies evah (she has six kids, home schools them, writes a blog, just released her book, ahem:

Get it, and travels all over speaking and other stuff), left a comment here on Holy Saturday, a few hours before the Vigil, to tell me she was praying for me and excited for me. The kindness of all of these people just blows my mind.

And then so many messages poured in after the Vigil. “Welcome home!” “Congratulations!” “Please let me know if you need any help on your journey,” and on and on, the wonderful comments and messages kept coming. Strangers and friends alike, these people are so kind and thoughtful and funny.

And speaking of funny, when I showed Heather the picture that was inspired by her (infinitely better) drawing talent:

She sent yet another wonderfully kind “Welcome home!” email and also was sweet enough to mention how great it was that I was receiving the Eucharist from Richard Simmons. Who knew Catholics are funny!?

I’ve received Facebook messages, emails, blog comments, text messages, and gifts in the mail, both from people I love and from complete strangers.

Because I was interviewed by our priest at the end of the Vigil and the recording of the video was shown during the Masses on Easter, many people have come up to me and shown support, both at our parish and when I have run into parish members out and about. Total strangers have hugged me and shaken my hand. Again, “Welcome home” has been the predominant message. I am humbled and in awe of the enthusiasm people have for a new member of their faith.

Though much of the what I mentioned above focused on kindnesses from fellow Catholics, I would never want to neglect the wonderful support from many, many non-Catholic friends, family members, and readers. We all love the same God, and you all are daily reminders to me of how wrong I was so many years ago in making sweeping generalizations about all Christian/religious people based on one experience and a lot of negative press.

Catholic or Protestant or Mormon, I have felt the love from near and far. Loved ones and friends from Michigan, Florida, Ohio, Iowa, Kentucky, Tennesee, Colorado, Arizona, Massachusetts, Wisconsin, Missouri, Oklahoma. . . Strangers from many more places. I hold you all in my heart and am grateful for you.

I try to remember often that neighbor in North Carolina. I try to remember her so I won’t forget to always treat others with kindness and compassion, even when they don’t believe or behave the same way I do. I hope I will be able to take all the kindness and excitement of the past few weeks and months and pay it forward to others someday.

For more Quick Takes, check out the link up HERE.

Something Other Than God – A Book Review

Posted on April 29, 2014April 29, 2014 by Amy

I love a good conversion story. One of my favorite books (as you know because I’ve mentioned it repeatedly) is Rome Sweet Home. It’s a story about the conversion of an anti-Catholic, Evangelical Protestant minister to Catholicism. It’s an excellent book, but not really the type of conversion that I could identify with in many ways. As I’ve written about quite a bit, I was certainly not an evangelical anything when I began my process of conversion to Catholicism.

The first conversion story I began reading about when I thought maybe I wasn’t an atheist anymore was Jennifer Fulwiler’s. She writes the blog I mention all the time, Conversion Diary. I kind of feel a kinship with Jennifer, because she too used to be an atheist. Reading her posts helped me begin to recognize, long before I read Rome Sweet Home, that I really didn’t understand Catholicism, or Christianity in general. I realized that my (mostly negative) beliefs about the teachings of the Catholic Church were way off base after reading lots of her posts on various topics, like Natural Family Planning/contraception and confession.

When I heard Jennifer was writing a book, I was thrilled and I couldn’t wait for it to come out. In fact, I contacted her publisher and asked if they’d let me do a review of it so I might be able to read it before it came out. I actually didn’t really think they’d let me. But they did! I’ve read it twice. It’s that good.

The first thing I want to say about the book is that it is not a reprinting of various posts from the blog Conversion Diary. I have read a lot of Jennifer’s blog. I read it regularly now as new posts come out, and in the early days I combed through her site and read lots of her older posts as I was trying to learn as much as possible about the Catholic Faith. Even still, this book was filled with stuff I’ve never read before. I have purchased other memoirs written by popular bloggers before, and though I found them good, I have at times been disappointed that the books mostly consisted of various blog posts, slightly edited for the book version. Jennifer’s book is a story, not a collection of essays or posts. And it’s a darn good one.

The book has a wonderful balance of serious and funny. It is real and authentic. One of my favorite parts was her writing about her uncertainties about prayer and how to act at Mass during her early days of conversion. I often found myself laughing out loud and thinking, “Oh! Her too?” Like when she shut herself into a bathroom stall to have some privacy to read her Bible:

“I looked down at the toilet seat and hesitated. It would be nice to have somewhere to sit, but . . . what the heck. I wiped it off with toilet paper and sat down in my slacks. Listen, God, I said silently. Then I realized I was addressing the Almighty from a toilet. Surely there were rules about that. I stood up and continued . . .”

I haven’t exactly done that before, but if I had a dollar for all the times I wondered if I was breaking some sort of “rule” about how or when to pray or what to do at Mass . . . well I could probably at least buy a cute new pair of shoes or something.

On the more serious side, there were two threads to the plot (is it called a “plot” when it’s a true story?) that particularly resonated with me, and I’d like to focus my review on my thoughts about these.

The first is how Jennifer writes about her struggle with reconciling the idea that there could be a loving God who would let horrible things happen. For many years I was of the belief that when people said things like, “Everything happens for a reason,” it was a load of hooey. In response to this mindset I would think something like, “Whatever. There’s a lot of awful stuff that happens in this world, and there’s no way I’m believing that there’s some grand cosmic Godly purpose for it.”

Through her book, Jennifer weaves a compelling story of tragedy and grief to convey her inability to reconcile the idea of an all-good God with the sadness and losses in life. She writes,

“I fed the [rosary] beads through my fingertips until I held only the pewter crucifix. There was the familiar figure of Jesus, bleeding and dying. This image supposedly answered the question of human suffering. I just didn’t understand how.”

She goes on to describe her struggles in this area and finally, the beautiful realizations she reaches that bring her to a place of peace and understanding of how Jesus’s suffering and sacrifice do answer the question of human suffering, perfectly. As someone who went through similar questions and doubts myself, and sometimes still has trouble understanding, I loved this part of the book. She makes it all make sense.

The second thread in the book that spoke strongly to me was Jennifer’s description of her journey from being firmly, staunchly, absolutely pro-choice to becoming pro-life. I had a big struggle with this issue too for many months. In fact, one of the first things that got me questioning my formerly-held position on this issue was this post she wrote about how she became pro-life.

But even having read that post didn’t provide the full story of the internal (and sometimes external) conflict she went through around this issue. In the book, she writes about her early beliefs that abortion is a matter of freedom for women and that “An all-good God wouldn’t oppose freedom.” She writes about how, even after learning some very disturbing facts about the way abortion is sometimes practiced, she was reluctant to give up her pro-choice stance,

“As much as what I just read called into question the moral footing of the pro-choice position, there remained within me an unmovable resentment toward Catholicism for opposing abortion and therefore making women slaves to their bodies. . . . Within me there was a conviction with roots a mile deep that said that to oppose abortion would be unfair to women in the direst sense of the word.”

Not long ago I had this same dilemma. Jennifer’s story about how she came to resolve her inner battle about abortion is perfectly written. You can feel the tension in her progression through this conflict. It hit home with me because it echoed in many ways my own struggle with this hot-button issue. But as Jennifer details, and I have learned myself, it is when you make a point to really learn the reasons behind the Church’s stance on an issue, you can see it more clearly and move beyond emotional, knee-jerk reactions and reliance on the popular opinion that the Church is simply “anti-woman.” Also, I appreciate that she presents this issue in a way that isn’t judgmental of women who have faced this difficulty.

This is a wonderful book for so many reasons. It is obviously a story of religious conversion, but more than that it is a beautifully woven tapestry of many threads of a life’s struggles and doubts and growth. I love reading about people who allow themselves to evolve and flourish because of being open to something new. Something that may seem weird or foreign or scary.

Jennifer’s book is a must-read.

**Something Other Than God was released today! You can order the book from Amazon, Ignatius Press, or Barnes and Noble, or wherever you like to buy books. And Jennifer is having an online release party for the book and giving away lots of prizes. Buy the book. Enter the giveaways.

It’s a wonderful book with chances to win stuff! You can’t beat that.

Special thanks to Ignatius Press and Jennifer for letting me do this review.

Receiving Communion With a Two Year Old

Posted on April 28, 2014April 28, 2014 by Amy

Saturday we went to the evening Mass. We don’t usually choose to go on Saturday evening, but we did this week because my husband worked this weekend. Why don’t we usually choose Saturday evening? Well, because it falls right during our usual dinner time for one. But mostly because our parish does not offer childcare in their nursery for the Saturday evening Mass. My older two do fairly well during Mass now, but at barely two years old, Sis is just, um difficult to wrangle for an hour. So she usually goes to the nursery.

Who, me??

I’ll spare you the details of trying to keep her contained while she was saying the whole time, “I cazy! I cazy!” and trying to hang upside-down on my lap. We’re not the first parents to manage a two-year-old through a Mass, nor was this the first time we had her in the service.

But, this was the first time for us to go up to receive communion as a family. Having only one previous experience of receiving the Eucharist, in a serene and peaceful and lovely moment with my husband while not juggling three children, I was extremely nervous about doing it with all three of them in tow.

I was a little nervous that my eldest, my super curious girl, would be begging the whole time, “Let me see! Can I have some?” I was a little nervous that my sweet middle daughter, who chose that day to skip her still much-needed nap, would have a minor meltdown in the middle of the aisle, or worse, at the feet of the communion minister. But mostly I was worried about handling my littlest.

I had practiced receiving communion during RCIA, but never using the open-mouth technique as would be required by someone holding a baby or small child (I think??? They didn’t teach us about this), so I wasn’t comfortable doing it that way. But I was scared that, as soon as I let go of Sis so I could properly accept the Eucharist with two hands, she would run off and do who-knows-what in the few seconds I’d need to, with proper reverence, receive communion. I did not want to take any chances with her running around people holding consecrated hosts and wine. Surely I’m not the only person to have felt this dilemma?

Let’s just say the second time receiving communion was a little bit different from the first.

So. You’re wondering, what did I do?? Well of course I held her hand as we walked to the front of church (she was pulling me with all her might the whole way). And when we got there? I pulled her in front of me and squeezed her between my knees to hold her in place while I used two hands to receive the Body of Christ. I am no artist, and I certainly cannot render a drawing like Heather of Mama Knows, Honeychild, but here’s my attempt at providing a visual of the moment:

Yes. A bit different from the first time. But it was still just wonderful. I love being Catholic.

7 Quick Takes About Hunts, Medals, and Kiddy Aliases

Posted on April 25, 2014 by Amy

1. I love taking photos. I think it’s delightful how some photos just really speak to you. What do you think this photo is saying?

I’ll tell you. It says, “The husband gave up buying anything for himself for Lent. Lent is over and it’s almost time to start fishing!”

At least two of those boxes have fishing rods in them, one for my husband and some for the girls. I don’t know what’s in the rest yet, but I do know that my kids are begging to go fishing.

2. This morning Sis wanted me to read her a book. I needed to get going on breakfast before the early-morning-hunger meltdown started. I had a momentary dilemma, because I never like to refuse reading a book if I can help it. Then I remembered. I now have an oldest child who can read!

This opens up a whole new world of possibilities!

3. Easter morning.

Even though I was super tired after the big events of Saturday and the late-ending Easter Vigil Mass, I still had to stuff and hide Easter eggs and baskets when I got home. I enlisted the help of my husband and in-laws for filling and hiding the eggs, and I strung yarn around the house and tied it to the doorknobs to lead the girls to their baskets. I always put their baskets in different rooms and have them search separately to make it fair for Sis (I “hide” her eggs mostly in plain sight). Once they get older I’ll just hide them all together and let them duke it out, but for now they really like the strings leading them to different rooms.

^^ She was saying, “I can’t find anymore!”

My kids love hunting for stuff. We did three hunts just last week, with the search for 30 pieces of “silver” on Wednesday, the resurrection egg hunt on Thursday, and Easter eggs on Sunday. They were all over it. Maybe I’ll do lots of scavenger hunts this summer.

4. Last night there was nearly a mommy melt-down to rival Hurricane Charley. Sis was playing with my jewelry on my side table after baths while I was putting her laundry away. She pulled apart the chain of the necklace Super Friend gave me for my baptism/first communion/confirmation gift (I was able to fix it). I could not find the wonderful Saint Rita medal from the necklace anywhere. I was so upset. As in almost-in-tears-and-on-the-verge-of-raging upset. After we searched and searched, and I asked Sis myriad times, “Where is Mommy’s necklace?” to which she either replied with “I nunno!” or by running to my side table and picking up the chain, sans Saint Rita medal, I decided I just needed to put her to bed. My husband suggested that I check in her clothes first. She sometimes likes to put things in her onesie. I checked, and whadaya know? The medal was in the crotch of her onesie, just where my husband suggested it would be.

We have a running joke/competition in our house because my husband likes to pretend that he is good at finding things. As every woman reading this will understand, I laugh hysterically whenever he makes this claim. Once in a while he does find something, and he likes to say, “What’s my name?” To which he desires the response, “The Finder” (get your mind out of the gutter!) Of course, I have never called him by that ridiculous name, though he claims the title for himself frequently.

Just yesterday, after a few instances of needing my help to find very obvious items (not that this was unusual), he said, “Wow, I must be losing my touch!” (snicker, snicker, “mm-hmm”). THEN, The Saint Rita Episode. Know what I called him after he found that medal? Yup. “Okay, okay. You’re The Finder.” Painful. But worth it.

5. After finding the medal, my husband suggested that I buy a jewelry box so my stuff isn’t just all lying on my bedside table. I figured this was a good idea, but instead of buying one I went to my closet and got down the one that my Mom gave me that had belonged to my Grandma.

I opened it up and started cleaning it out. I love looking through my Grandma’s jewelry. I used to play with a lot of it as a little girl, and there were plenty of pieces in the box I remembered seeing her wear. Even though I’ve been through this box many times since my Mom gave it to me, there was one piece in it that I’d never noticed before. My Grandma was not Catholic. So imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered a Miraculous Medal among her jewelry.

It needs to be cleaned up a bit, and I’ll have to get a chain to put it on, but I will absolutely be wearing this some day soon!

6.Tonight before bed Lass said to me, “Mom, even though the color of your hair is ugly, I still like it.” It’s great being a Mom. They love you even when you’re ugly.

(My girls, especially Lass, are really into “group hugs” right now)

7. I am considering doing something different with the way I refer to the girls on the blog. I started using “Miss” for my oldest when I started this blog without putting much thought into it. The other two nicknames just followed from that.

I use the nicknames because I used to work in a prison, several prisons actually and some jails, with some scary folks who are out walking around the world now. I don’t really know what I think would happen if people knew my kids’ real names, but. . . I tend to be a little over the top about things like this.

I’ve never really loved using the nicknames. They don’t flow well in writing, or in reading for that matter. I’ve had a few people express to me that they sometimes have a hard time keeping the girls straight with their “aliases.” Even people who know them in person!

The thing is I don’t know how I would change it. Unless I started using their real names, which I don’t think I want to do, switching their online names to something else would likely just be more confusing. Perhaps I’m stuck with forever referring to them as Miss, Lass, and Sis. Maybe I could switch to #1, #2, #3? No. Poor Lass would not be happy with that someday. I’ll keep thinking on it.

Find more Quick Takes HERE.

P.S. You didn’t imagine it. I did post on Wednesday, and that post has disappeared for a few days. I mistakenly put up the book review of Something Other Than God too soon. Sorry about that. It’s be back up next week when the book releases on Tuesday.

Have a happy weekend!

Motherhood and Miscellany

Author: Amy