Last year when Ash Wednesday occurred, I had still not been to church in many years. I had not yet written this post. I had had my one, first experience of praying, but hadn’t allowed myself to think much more about it. I still wasn’t a believer, and wouldn’t have even known it was Ash Wednesday except that I went out to dinner with Super Friend. This is something she and I do regularly. We always go to the same restaurant, sit at the same table, and usually order the same things.
Last year on Ash Wednesday, she shook up our routine. We used to always order an appetizer called “sizzling sisig.” It’s basically little bits of pork, fried with onions, and brought out sizzling in drippings on a little cast iron thing like lots of places use to serve fajitas. It’s delicious, but on Ash Wednesday she couldn’t eat it, and I wasn’t going to order it just for myself. So we didn’t have it.
^^ That’s not Super Friend, in case you were wondering
Also, we usually both order a decaf coffee and chocolate volcano cake with ice cream on the side for dessert. It’s a little luxury, and we both get kind of giddy when we get it. But on Ash Wednesday last year Super Friend couldn’t have this treat, because she gave up chocolate for Lent. This didn’t affect me at all since, of course, we don’t share dessert. I still ordered my little plate of gooey decadence while she ordered something else that didn’t look nearly as yummy. We had a great time, as always.
But I remember thinking, “She is giving up chocolate? She must be crazy. Why would anyone ever do that? Especially when pregnant?” I thought the same thing when I was taking ice cream to her in the hospital after her sweet little Super Baby was born during Lent. I was going to surprise her with the ice cream, and normally it would have been easy for me to pick out a flavor for her and know that she would love it. But I couldn’t surprise her, because I had no idea what flavor to get for her that didn’t have chocolate in it!
So. Last year, the whole concept of Ash Wednesday and Lent completely escaped me. Although we did venture into church for the first time during Lent, and we went to services on Easter Sunday, I really didn’t get any of it. I was still like a deer in the headlights, and very little of what was said and done penetrated my lingering atheist-turned-sort-of-agnostic mindset.
I didn’t understand, nor did I really care if I’m honest, why people gave up things for Lent. I didn’t get the fasting. I didn’t get the “no meat on Fridays” rule. I didn’t know what the ashes were for on Ash Wednesday. Okay, I still don’t really know that, but I will be looking it up promptly because now, I want to know.
I’ve done a lot of reading and asking questions this year to prepare for Lent because I want to understand what it all means. I don’t want to just go to mass next Wednesday and get ashes on my forehead and not know why. I don’t want to arbitrarily give up something for Lent without understanding the reason for it.
There are still lots of things I need to learn, but as I’ve been thinking and reading and praying about Lent, I have learned that, as I understand it, there are two parts to the process of giving something up or taking something on for this special time: sacrifice and drawing closer to Christ. It seems that the first helps you do the second.
So now I understand why a pregnant woman would give up chocolate for 40 days. I understand fasting. I understand that the specific thing I choose to do for Lent is less important than what I do with the experience of sacrificing something. If I don’t use that experience to help me grow closer to Jesus, I will have missed the point, I think.
So, what does that mean for me? This year my husband and I have agreed that we will be giving up ice cream as a family for Lent. I’m planning to have a special ice cream treat on Fat Tuesday with the girls and explain to them briefly that we won’t be having ice cream again until Easter and why.
This won’t be a huge actual sacrifice for them because they don’t eat ice cream a ton anyway (not nearly as much as I do), but we will have a few opportunities to highlight this with them because of a few birthdays and probably a family date night or two during the period of Lent (occasions when we might normally have ice cream). I’m also going to use the Prayer, Fasting, Alms-giving basket mentioned in this post to help the girls (and myself) focus more each day on Lent.
Are you wondering what am I giving up or taking on for myself this year? Me too. I haven’t actually figured that out yet. I am considering several possibilities. I’ll let you know when I decide.
