Everything You Need to Know About Staying (Mostly) Sane When Your Kids Are Puking

Okay. I’m going to just come right out and tell you that I now consider myself to be an expert on dealing with puking children 5 and under. So far this winter, each of my girls has had a puking stomach virus of some kind twice. These episodes of puking haven’t been my first go ’round with the barf bucket and my kids, but they have certainly been the most intense, concentrated, kick in the butt ones.

Sooo, I’m going to use my misfortune for good, and share what I now know about how to manage puking kids. Naturally, we all know, wash hands, sanitize, blah, blah. That’s important, of course, but won’t help you maintain your sanity. The following tips will, at least mostly (and just for fun, see if you can count how many different words for “vomit” are used in this post).

Here we go:

1. Old gallon ice cream buckets make the best vomit receptacles. They are the perfect size for little ones to carry around. Not too big, but not so small that they are a hard target to hit. Plus, they fit easily in the sink for washing. And usually they even have a convenient handle.

2. Put a big blanket on the floor. Something that you can throw in the washing machine that is thick enough that the puke that lands on it won’t go through to your rug or carpet Quilts are good. Blankets that are knitted or crocheted are not. Have several of these to rotate. Don’t let sick babes on the furniture.

The last part of #2 might seem harsh, but it is surprisingly easy when you follow rule #3.

3. The TV is your friend. Put in movies. Put on the Disney Channel or Nick Jr. or PBS or whatever you allow your kids to watch. Try to let them see at least a few things that are new-ish to them so they aren’t tempted to wander away or climb on the furniture. This serves two purposes. First, it keeps them occupied when they feel junky and tired and don’t want to do anything else (like Lass did after being up all night). And second, it keeps them from playing with (and vomiting on and germing-up) their toys, and keeps their touching of each other and spreading of germs to a minimum (ideally, I realize this didn’t work so well for us). It helps keep them on the blanket and off the furniture. Containment is the key here.

Buuut, if they absolutely won’t stay off the furniture, then just put a big blanket over the couch, obviously.

4. Especially if you have little ones who aren’t able to grasp the concept of aiming for the bucket, try to pay attention to when they get sick and how long they are going between retches and what their “I’m about to barf” face looks like. Other than her first two hurls on Saturday (before I got the timing down), I caught all of Sis’s puke. She was on a pretty predictable spew-every-thirty-minutes schedule for a while. Once, I even managed to pull her upright, yank her blankie out of the way, and get the bucket under her mouth all in one motion of preserving vomit-free clothing and floor.

5. Speaking of clothing, don’t bother with having your kids get dressed (my older girls stayed in pajamas, but during the worst of the barf-fest, Sis just had on a diaper). I think this goes without saying, but if they’re sick they aren’t going anywhere, and thus don’t need to get dressed. You’ll be doing enough laundry. Save yourself from washing another outfit or several (I think my laundry pile this week is actually pretty small, since no one except my husband has left the house since Thursday and the puked-on stuff is already done).

6. Along those lines, if you have one (or more) sick kid, and it’s bedtime, and you aren’t sure if the sickies will continue into the night and/or spread to your other kids, and you’re supposed to give them a bath before bed because it’s bath night? Just don’t bother. Chances are they’ll get one at some point during the night anyway. I learned this one the hard way.

7. Especially with really little ones, if they’re still actively getting sick, don’t bother to put them to bed. When Sis got sick in the middle of the night (the first time she and Lass had the pukes) I just got her up and brought her down to watch a movie until I was pretty sure her stomach was settled down. The second time she got sick just before nap time, and I didn’t put her down for a nap at all that day. I knew she wouldn’t sleep anyway, and I’d quickly run out of sheets for her bed (I did usually let my older girls go to bed if they wanted, since they are better able to wake up and hit a bucket on their own).

8. If you don’t have someone nearby who can bring you puke-friendly food in the middle of the day, keep some clear pop and saltines stashed away somewhere. I learned this one the hard way too, because I don’t normally have either of these things in my house. Though my girls actually don’t like carbonated drinks, they were better able to keep down Sprite than water. And no matter how hard they beg, don’t give in to their requests for milk. And no matter how much better they’re feeling at dinner time when they haven’t thrown up in several hours, do not let them eat bacon and oranges. Even when they really want to. Trust me.

And there you have it. All of my hard-earned puke knowledge in one convenient post. Pin it for future use. You can thank me later. For your sake, hopefully much later.

How many different vomit words did you count? I got 8 🙂