I Wonder if They’ll Remember This?

Posted on August 14, 2013 by Amy

We are at the Farm this week. We’re wearing ourselves out, and having fun, and doing All The Things.

The other day I went for a ride on Great Big Mable with my older girls.

That’s this thing, if you’re not familiar:

For some reason, as we were riding along, having a good old time, I got all nostalgic and started thinking, “I wonder if my girls are going to remember these times when they get older…”

I was thinking about all the trips we take so they can spend time with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins and all the fun things we do.

It got me thinking of my own childhood and my own memories of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.

I had a major walk down memory lane while riding old Mable.

I got to thinking about when I was a kid, playing with cousins, pool parties at my aunt and uncle’s house, family gatherings at my other aunt and uncles house, watching Dukes of Hazard with my cousins at my other aunt and uncle’s house. I remember singing a lot with my Grandma B., rocking in the old chairs on my Grandma and Papa’s front porch, going up north with them. I remember playing in my Grandma C.’s jewelry box, sitting on my Grandpa’s lap naming all my aunts and uncles as I touched each of their birthstones on his tie clip, climbing the tree in their backyard.

I thought about all these things on the Big Mable. And I’ve been thinking about them since. I’ve gone on an extended search of my childhood memories accompanied by lots of thoughts about my own kids.

“Will my girls remember when we did this?”

“Or this?”

“Will Lass remember finding that cool caterpillar?”

Some of my own memories are vague. Some are crystal clear.

Sometimes it’s just a sense memory. I remember smells, like my Grandma C.’s chicken cacciatore cooking. Sounds, like my Papa’s laughter. Tastes, like the sharp bitterness of martini (was this vodka? vermouth? I don’t know) on an olive out of my Grandpa’s drink, pancakes made more tasty because Grandma C. poured them in animal shapes, and the extra delicious grilled cheese my Grandma B. made. I can distinctly remember the feeling of rocking in those old rocking chairs on her porch.

I don’t know if I have many memories from when I was four or younger, as my kids are. Maybe a few around 4 or 5 years old. Being a flower girl in a wedding. Getting (accidentally) hit in the face with a baseball bat and needing stitches. Riding a carousel with my Dad.

My girls probably won’t remember much of what we’ve done this trip. They probably won’t remember today clearly. But maybe they’ll remember the smell of the fish they caught with their Dad. The sound of rocks plopping when tossed in the pond. The feel of the water and the sun.

Who knows? Maybe Miss will remember a sense of some of the things we’ve done this week or this summer. Lass probably won’t and Sis certainly won’t.

It doesn’t really matter I guess, because we’ll keep doing all these things, spending time with family, going to cool places, doing fun activities together, as they grow. And eventually they will be old enough to remember.

And happily, even if they don’t remember, they’ll know. Because it’s all documented here.

A Wrestling Meet, a Birthday, Some Great-Grandparents, and Disney World

Posted on February 21, 2013 by Amy

Warning: This post has a lot of photos in it.

I can’t help it. We are on vacation, and in the past week we’ve watched a cousin compete (and win 5th place!) in his HS State Wrestling tournament, had a birthday (and multiple parties), taken a plane ride, visited a great-grandpa and then a great-grandma (in different cities), and gone to Disney World. We’ve been in Iowa and all over the state of Florida. These events and their corresponding photos should have been put into several different posts, but we’ve been adventuring, and I haven’t wanted to stop to take the time to post before now. Here’s a little glimpse of the first half of our vacation.

Last Friday we got to watch part of the Iowa High School State wrestling tournament from a box. It was great for the girls to be able to watch their cousin’s semi-final qualifying match and then play cards or read or color at a table in the box the rest of the time. They really got into the excitement of cheering for their cousin, whose match was very exciting, and the other wrestlers from his team.

On the day we went to the tournament I asked Miss at bedtime, as I do every night, what her favorite part of the day was. She said it was watching her cousin wrestle.

On Saturday we had a Snow White themed birthday party for this girl who turned four.

It was a great party, with lots of family and fun, though I kind of spoiled the opening of her one present she has been asking for for weeks. She really wanted a Merida doll and I was so excited to give it to her. I kind of get into the present opening part of a birthday for my little ones, and I love watching their little faces light up and taking pictures as they exclaim over opening just what they wanted. Well, Miss went over and started opening her gifts while I was still feeding her baby sister and tending to Lass after her cupcake. When I realized it, mid-open, I hollered, “Honey, wait! Wait! WAIT!!” She didn’t wait. I didn’t get a photo of her opening the gift. I made an annoyed face at her when she didn’t listen to me. Though I recovered myself and told her “I was sorry for yelling but had wanted to be with her and take her picture while she opened her gift,” the moment was already spoiled. This is the photo I did get of her and her much-anticipated Merida doll. I felt like a total jerk.

We regrouped though, and she has been enjoying her doll.

Note to self – a photo is never that important.

On Sunday we flew to Florida.

I got headphones for the girls and packed their backpacks with their Leap Pads and Tag readers, books, puzzle books, coloring books, and crayons in a travel soap box. Lass thought the head phones were quite cool, though she wasn’t exactly sure how (or what) to plug them in.

The flight was fairly painless. The girls did a great job.

After we landed we got in our rental minivan and drove.

First we drove two hours for a quick visit with Great-Grandpa C who lives in a veteran’s home. It was wonderful to see him, as well as my uncle and his wife, though sad to only be able to stay a short time.

Next we got back in the minivan and drove two more hours to Great- Grandma B’s house. We spent the night and got up Monday morning (Miss’s birthday) to play with all sorts of fun stuff that my Gram had gathered and put out for the girls. Golf balls, plastic food container lids, baskets, and empty egg cartons were only a few of the things she pulled out to entertain my lovies for hours.

They were in heaven with all the toys, and then she whipped up a “country breakfast” for us, complete with eggs, sausage, biscuits, gravy, and a huge bowl of cut fruit. Yum.

She had tons of balloons that she blew up for the girls to play with and for Miss’s birthday celebration.

Great-Grandma had a big to-do for Miss’s actual birthday with pizza and cake and ice cream.

Baby sis got her first taste of ice cream.

We really had a wonderful time with my Grandma and my aunt and uncle (who live next door to her). My Gram really went above and beyond for my girls, which meant so much to me.

We had a too-short visit with her before hitting the road again for two more hours to head to Disney World.

We checked into our hotel and played for a while before dinner. The “playground” at our resort was pathetic. It consisted of lots of fake rocks and coral and three small slides. The girls had fun sliding and running anyway.

Then we headed out for a birthday dinner,

and back in for an early bedtime.

Miss got this “nighttime gown” like Wendy’s from Peter Pan for her birthday. She loves it. I got it from Esty (I love Etsy) here.

The girls watched the Disney bedtime story on the TV and we went to bed early to get ready for our big day at the Magic Kingdom.

On Tuesday:

We did the Magic Kingdom.

Tea Cups (one of my favorites):

Casey Jones splash pad area, which was clearly the favorite of the girls:

As an aside, I love these dresses, and so do the girls. They’re another Etsy find. You can get them here. They were perfect for wearing to Disney, and the girls also wore them to Miss’s party on Saturday. They were cool and comfy (I saw lots of little girls in big puffy dress-up dresses who looked hot and uncomfortable), washed up very easily, and my girls can wear them any day. The girls got drenched in them twice and they dried quickly and were no worse for wear.

It’s a Small World:

A few other rides, and then it was time for lunch at Cinderella’s Royal Table.

We had a nice lunch, with excellent food and service. The girls liked seeing the princesses. Each of them said Snow White was her favorite.

My favorite was Ariel. She really tried to talked to them (though they were a bit shy), rather than just signing her autograph and posing for photos.

She was even attentive to Sis.

The girls got magic wands and made wishes during the “Wishing Ceremony.”

And we had another little birthday celebration (she always plugs her ears during the Happy Birthday song!).

Afterwards, all they really wanted to do was to go back to the splash pad. So we did that for a while, got a few souvenirs, and hit the road.

It was only 3 when we took the ferry back to the parking lot, but the girls were totally worn out.

I have to say, I was pitifully unprepared for all the little tricks of the Disney park experience. I had done a bit of Pinning, read up on a few things, and gotten a couple of apps on my phone, but was totally crushed by the huge crowds and immensity that is the Magic Kingdom. It was extremely crowded, which made it all the more overwhelming. In about five and a half hours we went on four rides (Prince Charming’s Magic Carousel, Dumbo, Mad Hatter, and Small World), played in the water, had lunch with the princesses, and picked out a few souvenirs. The rest of the time was spent wandering around trying to figure out where to get fast passes (most of them were not located right outside their rides, which seemed quite stupid to me), trying to find the rides that we wanted, or waiting in line. We got one fast pass for the Little Mermaid ride but then just missed our window to ride it while we were having lunch with the princesses. We never even made it out of Fantasyland! I learned a lot though and will be much better prepared next time.

One of the highlights of the Disney day for me was that we ran into some friends of ours from when we lived in North Carolina. We haven’t seen them in almost five years, and yet there they were, shuffling along next to us in the crush to get through the entrance to the park. I’m still marveling that we saw them at Disney World, of all places. How likely is it to “run into” someone on a busy day at the Magic Kingdom? Amazing, but we did. And it was so fun to see them, even if it was only for a few minutes as we were herded through security.

For the past two days we’ve been relaxing at my in law’s house. Lass, Sis, and I all have yucky colds (which means unfortunately we can’t visit some of my friends we had planned to see while we’re here, because one of them can’t be around sick people). We’re still enjoying the warmth and soaking in the Vitamin D. Eventually I’ll post about the rest of our adventures. Tomorrow we’re going to the beach. Saturday we’re going home.

“Vacation” isn’t relaxing anymore since having little ones. But it is so much more fun.

All That I Hoped It Would Be

Posted on December 27, 2012January 11, 2023 by Amy

I have always tried my best to be a thoughtful gift-giver, and now that I have kids, my investment in giving good gifts has increased exponentially. I want them to love the gifts. I want their gifts to encourage lots of creative play. I want their gifts to be sturdy. I want their gifts to not be obnoxious. I have a lot to think about when choosing the gifts for my children for Christmas. Quality, not quantity.

More than the gifts, I really want my kids to get a lot out of the whole experience of Christmas. Putting up the Christmas tree, singing carols, going to see Santa, baking cookies, spending time with family, doing all the traditional things that bring such warm memories to my mind from my own childhood. We’ve had a great time doing these things the past few weeks.

For me Christmas morning is the culmination of all the holiday doings. It’s the time when all the build up about Santa and his magic comes to fruition.

On Christmas morning, I want my kids to be bursting with excitement and all the pure wonder that only children can express.

This year, Christmas morning was all that I hoped it would be.

It was waking up early with this little one and waiting for her sisters to come down while starting breakfast preparations.

It was finally hearing the big girls stirring upstairs and hearing their giddy anticipation as they rushed to see what Santa left for them, watching them search for the one thing they really, really wanted (The Big Snow White!), and then seeing the pure, childish joy when they found it.

It was watching and hearing them play with their Santa gifts while I finished making breakfast. What a joyful sound.

It was finally making creamed eggs (Miss called them “egg nugget” for some reason!) by myself without needing to call my mom for her “recipe.” I’ve never written down the instructions she has given me so many times over the years, though I say to myself that I will every time. I call her twice a year (on Christmas and Easter) to ask how to make creamed eggs and have been doing so since at least 2003. This year, I finally just did it myself. With Charlie Brown Christmas playing in the background, I made my roux, added my milk, salted and peppered, and stirred in my chopped hard-boiled eggs all by myself. I felt like such a big girl. My 3 year old did help, though. She told me I needed more salt.

It was the madness of opening the rest of the presents under the tree after breakfast.

It was loving watching my big girls’ different approaches to this process, with Miss tearing open every present that had her name on it, barely stopping in between to look at what she had just revealed, and Lass stopping to play for a while with each toy as she unwrapped it and leisurely making her way around to open each of her gifts.

It was seeing my older girls, surrounded by all their new toys, choosing to sit and read for a while.

It was taking a little bit of time myself to explore the wonderful new books on cooking my husband gave me – “The Elements of Cooking: Translating the Chef’s Craft for Every Kitchen,” “Ratio: The Simple Codes Behind the Craft of Everyday Cooking,” and “Twenty: 20 Techniques, 100 Recipes, A Cook’s Manifesto” all by Michael Ruhlman, all Awe. Some.

It was all of these things and more.

It was joyous. It was magical.

I really think I love Christmas and Santa even more through the eyes of my children than I did when I was little myself.

Joy

Posted on November 26, 2012November 28, 2012 by Amy

This time of year always makes me so sentimental. It makes me think of family. Holidays past. Traditions.

I think tradition is really the key to my nostalgia at this time of year. There are certain traditions that my family followed every year during the holidays that I remember so well and feel so happy to replicate with my kids.

I have wonderful memories of lots of family time at Thanksgiving.

This year, for the first time since my kids were born, we got to spend Thanksgiving with extended family. It was great fun.

The girls had lots of fun with their many, many cousins on my husband’s side of the family (there are so many kids my in-laws put carpet in their garage to make a big space for them to run and play inside).

They were playing some sort of football game. You can see how my girls look up to their older cousins.

Lass had no concept of the game being played. She mostly just wandered through the older kids, who were running and jumping and tackling and yelling all around her, singing and hugging this ball. It’s amazing (and a testament to her cousins’ consideration) that she never once got trampled, or even bumped!

This little one enjoyed hanging out with her Daddy and watching her sisters and cousins.

Thanksgiving dinner was eaten around a table set with my husband’s grandmother’s china and linens. The girls sat at the kid’s table, which is such a memory-laden rite of passage for every childhood in itself, and the adults crammed around the grown up table.

There was much laughter her about the fact that we were so squished around this table we could barely maneuver forks to mouths. Heaven forbid anyone needed to use a knife. It was a great meal in great company. Family.

When I see photos like these I can’t help but fast forward thirty or so years and imagine the memories my girls will have of our holidays and traditions. I want them to remember these feelings, whether they remember the specific instances or not.

Comfort.

Coziness.

Closeness.

I want them to remember time with family. That family was always placed at the top of our list of priorities. That they were always, always valued and loved by many.

I want them to have awesome auntie memories like I have.

I am so thankful we got to be with family for one of my favorite holidays this year.

When we got home, we moved right into one of my favorite traditions – decorating the Christmas tree. With Johnny Mathis Christmas music playing in the background of course.

There are few things more evocative of holiday memories and joy for me than decorating the tree. It’s an exercise in holding history and tradition in my hands with each ornament I put on the tree. Almost every ornament has a story. I have ornaments that belonged to my grandmas, that were made by my grandmas and great-grandmas, that were given to me by my Auntie, that were made by my mom and graced the tree in my house when I was a little girl, and so on. Of course I’m now adding the ornaments that belong to my girls. A new tradition in my little family (which I got from my Auntie) is that I give the girls each a special ornament each Christmas, trying to make it representative of something special that they did or experienced in the past year.

The first ornament put on the tree this year by each of my older girls was their “First Christmas” rocking horse. These are engraved with their names and the year.

They then proceeded with the rest of their individual ornaments and then helped me put all the non-breakable ornaments on the lower section of the tree.

The finished product:

For some reason the tree is leaning a bit this year. I don’t even care. I love our tree. It might even be a bit weird how much I love our tree. This thing is a big green, sparkly monument to my life, my family, and my history. It, and the process of creating it with my girls, bring me joy.

Sewing Past and Present

Posted on October 27, 2012January 11, 2023 by Amy

Miss has really been into sewing for the past couple of weeks. A few days before we left to come to my parent’s house, she said she wanted to get a “Princess Starglow” (yellow star-shaped princess character from a Care Bear movie) and asked if she could use her allowance that she has been saving to buy one. I told her I wasn’t sure if we could buy a Princess Starglow, and looked on the computer with her to see if anyone sold one. No one does. So she asked, “Can we make one?” Well. Okay.

I told her we could. She initially asked to make one with yarn. I told her it might work better to sew one. We made a special trip to Hobby Lobby to get some shiny material. I drew a pattern and traced it on the fabric. I was all set to get it ready to sew, and excited for her to have her first experience with my sewing machine. She looked at it and said, “No Mommy, I want a small Princess Starglow.” Apparently the pattern I made was too big. My girls seem to have a strong affinity for pocket-sized toys and dolls. I should have known.

When she protested the Princess Starglow I had started making it was just a day or two before we left for this trip. So I put the Princess Starglow makings out of sight and put the project on hold until we get home.

She’s been fine with that, but has still had “sewing” on her mind. Today, my mom got the girls to “sew” on some leaf-shaped lacing cards. Miss saw some light blue yarn and asked me to sew a Cinderella Dress out of it. I told her I couldn’t really do that with the yarn. She didn’t understand, since we hadn’t actually gotten to the sewing step in the Princess Starglow project, so she said, “But you could try, Mommy.” Oh boy. I can’t say no to that. I agreed that I could.

Before I got a chance to test my Fairy Godmother skills, my mom brought out something that took my back to the very beginning of my own sewing journey.

I started making this quilt when I was about five years old (that’s over 30 years ago, folks). My mom cut the squares from scraps and traced hearts on each of them for me to quilt.

I worked on it off and on for many (roughly 20) years. Some of the stitches are huge and very wobbly.

Funnily, I was just wondering about this quilt this morning when Miss was asking me about sewing. I haven’t seen it in at least a decade. It was awesome to see it again.

I have finished 19 of 35 squares.

Today I talked to my girls about us finishing the rest of it together. They were really into the idea. Lass repeatedly said, “Yes! We do it togevah (together)!” I think it must have been meant-to-be that I didn’t finish this as a girl. It will be so much better for me to finish it with them.

So, back to the Cinderella dress. I had no fabric. Just blue yarn. I cut the bottom off of a paper towel roll. Shaped it into sleeves. Wrapped the yarn around.

Miss was really excited about it. She loved it. She showed it to my husband. He said, “Oh cool, it’s Toodee!”

Toodee?!

C’mon! Really?

You can see it, right?

All that really matters I guess is that Miss loves it. Now she wants me to “sew” her a Cinderella to go in the dress. I’ve created a monster… .

The Iowa State Fair

Posted on August 15, 2012 by Amy

Someone once wrote a book titled something like “1000 Things to do Before You Die.” I don’t know who wrote it or what 999 of the things in the book are or whether I’ve done any of those things, but I do know that one of the things this person noted was the Iowa State Fair. A must do before one dies. Check. Yesterday we rocked the fair and it was good.

My husband grew up going to the Iowa State Fair and loves it. I first went when Miss was about six months old. It was fun then. There was lots of cool stuff to do and look at. It was easy with just one immobile and good-tempered baby. This time, though it was a little bit more tricky, and at times trying, it was so much more fun. I loved, I mean loved, watching my girls do the fair. There were so many fun experiences for them. They got to see piglets being born. They watched a lamb chasing and dancing around its mother to grab on to her and nurse. They saw chicks hatching, and all sorts of other baby animals. They got to play with butterflies.

Miss was so proud of herself for learning to catch the butterflies all by herself. Lass had a heavier hand and needed some help to keep from clubbing them, but she eventually got it too.

A little later, Miss was very eager to ride the Big Yellow Slide. We happened to eat lunch right near it, and she couldn’t even eat she was so anxious to get on that slide. She was mad that she couldn’t go down by herself. She went down with her daddy. And she hated it. It totally freaked her out. Lass on the other hand loved it. She went twice and wanted to keep going.

So true to their personalities.

Of course a day at the fair is not complete without trying various “fair foods.” The girls have a book in which the characters go to a fair and eat cotton candy, so they were eager to try it. Cotton candy is not one of my favorite things and I would not normally waste $4 on it, but I was excited to see what they thought of it. Naturally Lass jumped right in and ate it up.

And Miss was not so sure. She said, “Why is it dry?” She didn’t love it so much.

I tried my first fried Snickers bar. It was tasty, but I think I’d rather just have the Snickers. Surprisingly, not everything in life is made more delicious by deep fat frying it.

We made up for the disappointing cotton candy with red velvet funnel cake. Funnel cake is not really my thing (my belief about dessert is that, with very few exceptions, it’s generally not worth the calories if it isn’t chocolate) but the girls enjoyed it. Again, Lass dug in with vigor.

We spent a lot of time looking at the animals. They were the big hit of the day, from all the baby animals to the “Big Boar.” His name was Reggie and he was over 1500 lbs, I think! Though his size was impressive, the girls actually seemed to prefer the smaller animals, because poor enormous Reggie didn’t do anything but lay in the dirt. The girls were really intrigued by other animals like bunnies, chickens, ponies, llamas, sheep, horses, normal-sized pigs, and an elk. Miss’s favorite were the bunnies.

Lass’s favorite were the cows. She asked to pet a new mama cow who was in the birthing barn with her calf, but there was a staff member posted near her specifically to make sure no one got too close. That mama cow was very protective. Gotta respect that.

We had so much fun looking at and talking about all the animals. It was an amazing learning experience. We talked about everything we saw, from how the baby chicks peck their way out of the eggs to why a sheep pooped in his water dish. They’re still talking about that one.

A surprising favorite was the tractors. My husband loves to look at them, but I wasn’t expecting my girls to get into them as much as they did. They wanted to climb into every one and Miss got upset when we needed to move on to other things.

We saw as much of the Fair as we could in one too-short morning. We got back to the Farm after a long drive and one of the first things Miss asked to do was to look at her Papa’s tractors! She takes after her Daddy I guess.

We’re at the Farm this week, recharging and savoring the last of summer. The Iowa State Fair was a wonderful addition.

Making Memories

Posted on July 23, 2012 by Amy

We were in recovery mode today. Yesterday we partied hard with our friends. This statement takes on a whole new, yet still quite accurate meaning when you consider that “we” is in reference to four adults with our six children under five getting together for a fun evening of grilling, trampolining, swinging (on the swing set), running, sandbox-ing, exploring, chasing, and s’mores eating, with grown up conversation in between. The three “little kids” (under 2) went to bed after s’mores and the three “big” kids (3 and 4) got in jammies and stayed up to watch Snow White while the adults visited around the fire pit. My husband and my friend’s husband had spent what seemed like an hour getting that fire started. They didn’t use a lighter or any matches. Just some old-fashioned cave-man fire-starting stuff. I was literally on my way to get the lighter (because it was way past time for s’mores!!) when I saw smoke finally rising from our fire pit. The manly men prevailed, and it was good.

We had a wonderful time with friends. The kids all got sufficiently sweaty and dirty and scraped up to consider it a true summertime playing extravaganza. They explored our “woods” (treed area around the perimeter of our yard) and jumped themselves silly on our new trampoline. My husband, hero of the evening, played a new game with them, which involved getting on his hands and feet under the trampoline and chasing the kids by pushing his butt up into the trampoline from the underside while running around bear-crawl style. I wish I had seen this and gotten a photo. I heard the laughter and screaming of the kids, but I was putting Sis to bed while this was going on. So I, like you, have only a (very hilarious) mental image of these antics to go by. Oh how I love that man.

Needless to say, we were all feeling a little worn out today. Incredibly, the girls only slept in a little bit past their usual wake up times, so they were pretty tired and crabby today. We got lots of good down time in though. Nothing like being pooped to bring a family together for some serious bonding. The girls made breakfast with their Daddy.

They love helping him cook eggs. They work the pepper mill and really get into pinching and sprinkling the salt from my salt pig.

We read lots of books and just relaxed.

This afternoon we went outside for more backyard fun. I love watching the big girls run and play in the yard. They go on “adventures” and make up scenarios involving monsters and giants and castles and rescue missions. We got them sufficiently tuckered out again this evening.

This is the stuff of memories.

Memories in a Box

Posted on July 9, 2012 by Amy

When I was a little girl I loved to go to my Grandma’s house. She had a jewelry box full of costume jewelry that she let me play with to my heart’s content. I would go back to her bedroom and put the jewelry box on her big bed. I’d drape myself in her jewels all afternoon. She had long necklace strands with funky beads, tons of bangle bracelets, brooches, and clip-on earrings, essential for my very young and at that time un-pierced ears. I have many memories of these adventures. And I don’t remember this, but one story goes that, as a tiny tot, I once placed all of my Grandma’s necklaces on at one time and somehow fell over, calling out in my little voice, “Help! Help!” because I could not get back up.

My Grandma passed away about two and a half years ago. This past week, my Mom gave me her jewelry box with her costume jewelry in it. Oh heaven! Now, I was a little sad because it wasn’t the same box, and much of the jewelry I played with wasn’t there anymore. I had had visions of opening my Grandma’s white jewelry box to find all the fun beaded strands I had played with in the late 70s and early 80s. I guess Grandma got some new stuff since then. The new box is dark-stained wood. But happily, a few of the pieces I remember playing with were still there and some other items I remember seeing her wear, even if I didn’t play with them. It was magical to watch my girls’ faces light up as they explored this treasure trove.

They both loved to see themselves all decked out. Lass repeatedly said, “I go wook in miweh (look in mirror)” and “Sissy, wook miweh too, huh? Come on!”

They were princesses in their finery. Then Miss decided they needed to be “scullery maids” (we had been watching Snow White). So she changed into her “raggy jewelry” for cleaning house and she and Lass went to town.

Oops.

Anybody remember these?

Those old Fisher Price toys were the other thing I used to play with at my Grandma’s house. The “Mommy” with the blue body and yellow hair was a toy I used to love to carry around with me all the time. Sort of like how my middle child has to carry around her “Wedda” (Cinderella) doll at all times and always in her left hand (check the photos above, she’s always there). My girls weren’t into the little people like they were the jewelry. Miss said, “Oh, cool people!” and then went back to playing with her princesses. Oh well.

We’re home now, trying to get back into the swing of things after yet another week of travel. We’ve been on the road a lot the past few weeks to be with family. I am thinking about my grandmas, and my husband’s grandma, and my girls’ grandmas. Grandmas are just special. I have always loved and appreciated my grandmas, but I find myself cherishing them more now that I have children. I wish my girls would know my grandparents the way I did. I know I can’t make that happen (though I try with visits as much as possible), but that makes it all the more important to me that they will have wonderful special relationships with their grandparents. So we travel. We get sleep deprived from driving late into the night and sleeping in cramped quarters. We rack up the miles on my vehicle. We get flat tires that my poor husband has to change at 11:00 at night. But you’d better believe my girls will have amazing memories. Someday they might have a special item that brings those memories flooding back, like the box of my Grandma’s jewelry. Definitely, they will know the specialness of their grandparents. And that makes it all so worth it.

The Tantrum

Posted on May 23, 2012 by Amy

Last week my husband worked nights and Miss didn’t nap. That wasn’t the best combination, and we had a few rough points during the week. It reminded me of another time my husband was working nights and Miss had her first super crazy meltdown tantrum. Aaaah, memories…

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Okay, so I am floundering a bit with this “Terrible Twos” thing. I hate even saying that. “Terrible Twos.” Having a nearly-two-year-old is not terrible. Most of the time, it’s pretty great. But I have found myself in this place recently where sometimes, just sometimes, it is totally. crazy. psycho. During Miss’s toddlerhood thus far we’ve had our share of “moments.” Brief little fits. Minor tantrums. They were usually short and they’d blow over quickly. Miss could be distracted pretty easily, and if not she’d pull herself together without too much drama. The one area where we sometimes would have a big meltdown would be after nap when Miss would sometimes wake up in a terrible mood and just have a screaming fit for what seemed like an age.

And then we had today. This morning. My girl woke up like a little ray of sunshine, as always. We had fun playing and coloring and watching a little bit of Sesame Street. We pretended to be dinosaurs. She pretended to make lemonade. Then she said she was hungry so I took her in the kitchen to get a snack. I asked her what she wanted. “Bunny crackers.” “Yogurt.” Okay, no problem. I got out the yogurt, got a spoon, opened the yogurt and started to put it in front of her. Strawberry yogurt. Yum. Then she asked for a sandwich. I simply said something like, “Well honey, let’s have a little snack now and then I’ll get you a sandwich at lunchtime.” Hello. Commence screaming. Seriously. She started howling like a banshee and did not stop. I tried all my usual tricks. I tried to get her to laugh. I said something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset. Please use your words to tell me what you want and I’ll be happy to help you.” Ha!! After a while of more shrieking I thought I heard her say, “bunnies,” so to try to positively reinforce her “using her words” I got the bunny crackers out and put some on her placemat. She screamed harder. I ate her yogurt and tried to wait her out. She said “down” so I got her down from her chair, at which point she fell to the floor and continued howling. My husband, who was upstairs trying to sleep came downstairs and asked her why she was crying. She stopped for a second, said “Daddy” and then went right back to yelling. He looked at me, I shrugged, he went back upstairs with a comment to the effect of, “Well, I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t knocked out down here or something . . .” The rest of what he said was lost in the noise of our daughter. I’m pretty sure that was his no-so-subtle way of saying, “Okay, since you’re conscious, can you please do something about our child’s insane wailing?” It didn’t help that he happened to come downstairs during the part where I was eating her yogurt and trying to wait her out, so it probably looked like I was just chillin’, having a snack, not realizing that our child had turned into a little puddle of insanity on the floor.

Anyway, it went on. I could describe the whole painful morning in detail, I’m sure, as it feels as though the scene is scorched into my brain, never to be forgotten. The First Big One. But I’ll spare you the details. Okay, I probably already gave way too many details. So, we can leave it at, It Was Bad, and move on. I probably could have ended it rather quickly by turning on the TV or letting her watch Yo Gabba Gabba on the computer or something like that. But I could not bring myself to do that. It just felt like that would have been reinforcing a behavior I’m not anxious to have repeated. Okay, don’t laugh, I know it will be repeated in some form quite a few times and probably agonizingly in public on at least a few occasions too. I’m just saying, I don’t want to increase the frequency of the Tantrum From Hell by reinforcing it. I’m a psychologist. I’m all into my behavioral principles. I know them forwards and backwards. I guess I automatically get Skinnerian in my head when dealing with this discipline stuff. But I gotta say, this morning, I felt L.O.S.T. I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t really even upset. I just had no idea how to make it stop. I knew I didn’t want to reinforce the behavior, but I also wasn’t trying to punish her. She’s almost two. She doesn’t have good control of her emotions and still has trouble expressing herself. She’s learning to deal with this stuff just like I am. But wow. I felt like I had been dropped into the deep end and had forgotten how to swim. I suppose, to stick with this simile, I managed to tread. And you know what eventually worked? I sat down on the floor where we had been coloring earlier, picked up a crayon, and started coloring. Within a minute she had stopped crying and was sitting next to me coloring away. Who knew?

So, I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, except to say that I am finding more and more Mommy-moments when I really feel like I’m not sure what the heck I’m doing. I always end up just going with what feels right to me, and things turn out okay. But then I look back and analyze everything and wonder if I did it right and am I going to screw my kid up forever or is she going to turn into a raging brat because I didn’t discipline her enough or did I do it too much and now she’s going to be insecure or rebellious??? Maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration. I’m not quite that neurotic. But I do tend to look back on what I did and see if there’s something I should do better or differently the next time. I guess I’m just making a mental note to myself that, even with all my principles of reinforcement swirling in my head, I still need to learn how to make it work with this girl. And maybe it will be different every time. And then I’ll have to learn it all over again with Lass. And so on. So, I’ve come to realize that there is no greater in vivo learning experience than motherhood. This is my classroom.

After Miss’s fit resolved, I got Lass (poor thing was just hanging out playing during the whole drawn out drama) down for a nap and asked Miss if she wanted to do some finger painting. This was a first for her so she had no idea what I was talking about, but she sure thought it sounded cool. So we got messy as our way to “make-up” (not quite the right word, but I liked the alliteration of the title) after the meltdown.

She liked squishing the paint between her fingers.

Masterpiece #1.

A bit of a lighter touch with this one.

After a while she got freaked out that her hands were so messy.

So she cleaned them off and got right back to it.

She decided to try tasting the paint and didn’t much care for it.

For the record, Crayola’s “washable” finger paints are indeed washable.

Gallery.

She seemed to like this set up better.

Aaand, we’re done.

What better way to finish a messy craft time than with a bubble bath?

Hanging out with Lass at lunch time. We had no more eating-related meltdowns. She had forgotten entirely about the sandwich. For lunch she wanted strawberry yogurt and Cheerios. Unfortunately I had eaten the last strawberry yogurt while she was howling face down on the floor, but she was content with apple. And I wasn’t gonna fuss about the lunch menu today. Apple yogurt and dry Cheerios? Sure.

And here she is proudly showing off her artwork to her Daddy when he woke up.

Before I click “Publish Post,” I feel like I should say that I know this is my second post in less than a week that might seem like it has a bit of a “complain-y” feel to it regarding mothering a toddler. I am not complaining. I realize all the time how lucky I am to have these two little people to bring up in the best way I can. Sometimes I screw up, and sometimes I nail it, and always I hope that I will learn and get better. And this blog is my way of chronicling this journey, and sharing it, and helping myself to figure it out by getting the words out of my head. So that’s it. Going to Arizona tomorrow. Wish us luck on the plane! Good night.

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Things are back to normal around here this week and much improved, though Miss still isn’t napping, which means she’s a bit of a mess by bedtime. But nothing like she was that day^^^

Cookies

Posted on March 1, 2012 by Amy

Recently, Miss has been showing a real interest in helping me in the kitchen. Every night she comes in and asks to help me make dinner. I love this.

Not only does she learn some good stuff, about cooking and measuring and following a recipe (or not), but also about the joy of cooking and spending time together in the kitchen. That’s my favorite part.

That, and the pride she shows in the finished product, hearing her family tell her how delicious her dinner is and being able to taste a yummy dish she helped create. Her proud smile is priceless.

Tonight, before making dinner, we got decked out in our aprons and baked cookies.

The girls helped measure and stir the dry ingredients,

then the wet ingredients,

Miss painted my finger nails this afternoon

Lass is smelling the combination of maple syrup and vanilla

This was her first time cracking eggs. She loved the feeling of the shell and just kept squeezing and crumbling it. I had to pry it out of her fingers, very carefully to keep the whole shell from going into the bowl. I couldn’t stop laughing as she just kept squeezing and squeezing it.

Miss is a pro at the eggs now and just needs a little bit of help.

And finally, the chocolate chips get added. Of course, they have to be sampled first.

Lass was not pleased at having to wait her turn to stir the cookie dough once the chips were added.

Not happy at all. Don’t worry, she didn’t draw blood.

And she did eventually get her turn.

Her face when she realized we had to bake the cookies before she could eat them:

Dessert after a yummy dinner.

Spending time in the kitchen with my girls is so fulfilling. Admittedly, I am kind of neurotic about my kitchen, but I really do try to push myself to not worry about stuff and just let them have fun. I want them to have great memories of cooking. I certainly have some wonderful memories from today.