A Sacramental Blessing – Thoughts on What Was Missing from My Marriage

When my husband and I first got married, we did it in the most secular way possible. We were outside, we had a judge officiating, and I specifically requested no references to religion in the ceremony.

wedding 039

It was really wonderful, and remains one of the best days of my life. At the time, I didn’t think for a moment that there was anything missing.



When I decided to convert to Catholicism, I realized that I really wanted for my husband and I to have our marriage validated in the Church. It took us a while to make it happen, but a few weeks ago, we finally had our sacramental blessing. A Catholic wedding, complete with full Mass.

Smith Vows-141

Smith Vows-170

Smith Vows-194

While we were receiving communion, Lass asked the priest, “Why don’t the little people get to have any of the good stuff?”

It wasn’t a big, fancy affair. Just us, our girls, our priest, Super Friend and Super Husband, and The Godmother (plus our babysitter and photographer).

We did the whole thing. We selected readings, and the priest gave a homily. We said vows and had our rings blessed. The priest said a blessing over us and we received communion, all standing around the altar. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced.

Smith Vows-154

Our first wedding was also beautiful. It was wonderful and meaningful. It was a big celebration of our marriage with most of our friends and family. It wasn’t fussy, and it was fun. It was exactly what I wanted it to be at that time.

This time was so much the same and yet so, so different. Our first wedding was obviously important. But this time, this ceremony, felt sacred. I looked at my husband while saying our vows and there was so much more. We’ve been married over six years and have three children. We’ve experienced wonderful joys and terrible grief. “In good times and bad, in sickness and in health” took on a whole new meaning as I said those words again. It was different, because this time I felt the presence of God watching over us, blessing us, embracing us. I know now that He was there the first time too, but I didn’t bother to notice. This time, He took center stage, and it made everything so. much. more.

Smith Vows-190

There was even more joy. More love. More beauty. More grace.

Smith Vows-199

I used to think I knew a lot about marriage. I thought I was really good at being married. I thought my husband and I had a fabulous marriage. Here’s what I know now: I knew some. I was pretty good. We did have one.


Since converting to Catholicism, since beginning to go to church with my husband every week, since instituting prayer in our home and faithful practices in our family, my marriage has improved in so many ways.

I’m a better wife and a better mom. I am less prideful and less selfish. I still have so much to learn. I am still striving and praying to get rid of all the yucky parts of myself: my pride and anger and selfish tendencies. But the love of God helps me to love my husband better. And just as He was the thing missing from our first wedding, God was what was missing from our marriage for the first five years. I didn’t even realize there was anything was missing back then. But now I do. Our marriage is so much better with Jesus.

An Anniversary Post

I had a date night with my hubby tonight for our anniversary, which was yesterday, but he has been working nights this week and just finished up this morning.  So, date night tonight.  It was fabulous.  First night out since Sis’s arrival BTW, and all went perfectly (I will never again underestimate the beauty of having a baby who will drink from a bottle).  Four years of wedded bliss with my BFF, my soul mate, the man of my dreams…  It’s late and I have had a glass of wine, so I don’t really have it in me to do an original anniversary post tonight.  But I like the one from last year.  It sums up my feelings for my hubby nicely, so here you go.  Good night!
Three years ago today, I married the man of my dreams. I know. Saying “the man of my dreams” is totally cliche. However, I think the reason many phrases become cliche is that they are so true. My husband really is the man of my dreams. Before I met him, if I thought of the kind of person I wanted to, or dreamed of, spending my life with, I would have described him. Handsome. Intelligent. Funny. Considerate. Hard-working. Sans piercings… You name it. If I once wished for a quality in a potential mate, he has it. And then some.

Another way I could describe my husband is to say that he is my soul mate. All right. Another cliche. But it’s true! The man could have been created especially for me. He gets me. We’re a great team. He completes me. Oops! There’s another one 🙂

Okay, how about this? My hubby is my best friend. My BFF. Cliche? Maybe. But also true. I would rather spend time with him than anyone else. I love to spend time chatting with him about all sorts of things. I also just love to be in the same room with him even if we’re not talking. He could be working on his computer and I might be reading, and I will always choose to read my book in the same room as him just to be near him.
He is the person I look forward to waking up with every morning. He is my partner in all things. He makes me laugh. He does the dishes while I put the girls to bed. He encourages me to pursue my interests, like book clubs and cooking classes. He lets me know in many ways how much he appreciates me. He does fun things with me like our “Chopped” at home adventure. We share the same values. He loves me and respects me and takes care of me. He is a wonderful dad to our girls.
Here’s to three years of wedded bliss, harmonious matrimony, living real life every day with the man of my dreams. My soul mate. My best friend. My husband is all these things. Truly. Cliche or not. He floats my boat. Lights my fire. Trips my trigger. Yep. I love him.